Chapter 2: Life's a bitch and then you meet Jessica

Bart Simpson: Attorney at Law

Disclaimer: I do not own The Simpsons, capesh?

Little did Alex know, Bart was watching them from the window as they sped off, thinking similarly. He talked with Martin on the phone for two hours going over dates and Professor Frink's old records. This part of the job Bart really hated. After that Bart left for lunch and went to his favorite restaurant, Café de Jimbo, which was named after the same guy who gave Bart toilet swirls when he was young. Jimbo Jones had dropped out of High School at the age of sixteen and his mother was outraged. She then enlisted him into Springfield Job Corps and Jimbo decided to go into the culinary class. He fell in love with it and got both his G.E.D and a food handler's card. Afterwards he went into the advanced training part of the culinary program and then a year later was working in a small kitchen in Springfield. Jimbo made a name for himself and was approached by a man who wanted to make him a silent partner and the two opened the restaurant Bart was now eating at, two years later. This was really Bart's get away from everything; it's where he felt he was at peace.

Twenty-five minutes later after wrestling two calzones down, happily, Bart went back to his office. Jessica looked up as he came in.

"How was your lunch, Mr. Simpson?" She asked, sweetly.

Bart rolled his eyes, "It was good. By the way, Jessica, you can call me Bart. I may wear a suit but I don't go far into the business by having people call me by my last name."

Jessica put down her eyelash kit and leaned forward on her desk, her hands resting underneath her chin, "Why, Mr. Simpson, that would be really unprofessional of me, if I did that."

Whatever. Bart thought.

Jessica sat herself back down, "By the way, Mr. Simpson, Milhouse is waiting in your office."

Bart grumbled thanks and was starting to wonder if a person could get fired for just being an annoying pain in the ass. Upon entering his room he was greeted by his best friend in the whole world.

"Hey, Bart, what's shakin'?" Milhouse had lost almost all his hair; he was looking very close to his father, and had gained a little more weight but could hardly be considered pudgy, as Milhouse was an avid GYM user.

"Nothing much," Bart lied, "What's new with you?"

Milhouse shrugged, "Samantha is dealing with her morning sickness, so she's preoccupied a lot of the time. I got that part time job at Android's Dungeon, Comic Book Guy caved and finally let me open the newly refurbished 'Aqua Spleen' comics."

Bart smiled at his nerdish friend. When Milhouse had helped Bart through a dark phase, when Bart and Gina broke up, Bart felt inclined to help his friend who struck out with more girls than a blind kid at bat. He found Samantha Stanky at a university south of Springfield doing Christian Studies and met up with her. It turned out that she missed Milhouse a lot and Bart felt guilty for breaking the two of them up like he did when the three of them were younger. The two of them reconnected and then three years later married and were now expecting their first child.

"Ready to go bowling?" Bart asked as he shut down his computer.

Milhouse sighed, "Actually, Bart, I can't. That's why I came over here. I promised Ralph I'd fix that drain that his dad has and it looks like an all nighter."

"Oh." Bart said, he slipped back into his chair. "How about we compromise then, tomorrow you and Samantha come over to my place and I'll fix you guys some 'Stir Fry ala Bart', sound good?"

Milhouse nodded, "Yeah sounds good. Samantha loves your cooking, so we'll do that."

Bart got up and shook Milhouse's hand and felt like as if Bart was still working at the moment.

Milhouse then left after that. Bart went to his window over looking the city.

What a crappy day. He thought.

Looking into the reflection of the window, he saw Jessica standing in the doorway.

"I heard him bail out on you. Such a shame." She sounded as though it was something of a victory for her.

"Yeah, turns out he has other things. So, shall we grab that drink?" Bart asked, wearily rubbing the day out of his eyes.

Jessica gave another killer grin, "I thought you'd never ask."

Truth was, was that Bart didn't want to be anywhere near this person, but alcohol seemed rather welcoming after being put off by Milhouse and those two hours trying to get Nelson to understand court room procedure.

Bart and Jessica left five minutes later and rode a cab to Moe's. The place had changed a lot considering how Moe renovated the place to seem more like a college hang out rather than a hole in the ground.

As soon as they got in Jessica turned to Bart.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." She then went off to the other end of the bar where the restrooms were.

Bart found a small table and ordered a Jagermeister for himself and then two more for later on.

When Jessica came back from the bathroom, Bart's jaw fell to the floor. She apparently had changed while she was in there because now, going from a business-like tan pantsuit, she was now wearing a black back laced dress that clung to her figure as if it were saran wrap.

"Much better." She said stretching. She then ordered an apple martini for herself.

Bart shook his head. Ideas were forming and not the kinds he wanted to have involving this particular person.

Jessica put down her drink and grabbed Bart's arm, "So, tell me. When did it all change from Bart Simpson being a bad boy to being a rich, successful, somebody?"

Bart shrugged, "Well, I guess a little after a few months when you had got sent back to boarding school. A lawyer from northern Springfield talked to me about his job and I was hooked. I decided to be better in my classes and the rest is history. But I didn't stay away from detention."

Jessica nodded, her eyes were half-slitted and her lips curved into one of the most seductive smiles, Bart had ever seen.

"Have another drink; you look beat." Said Jessica.

Bart nodded. The day had slapped him awfully hard and the Jagermeister was giving him the edge he needed to end the day sort of happily.

The next day came as Bart opened his eyes. He was in his apartment and in his bed. The morning's sun hit him with an unwelcoming force. Sitting up, he looked down and noticed he wasn't wearing any clothes. To more of his surprise, he wasn't alone either. An arm protruded from underneath the comforter and was lying across his waist. Bart looked to his left and saw the sleeping form of Jessica Lovejoy. Eyes closed, she had one of the most satisfied smiles on her face.

Meanwhile in Bart's other bed, waking up alone, Alex arose inhaling deeply. Her dreams last night had been strange ones. All of them had been about Bart. Alex got out of the bed and paced around the room.

It's just because you saw him for the first time in a long time, that's all. She told herself. It doesn't mean anything.

There was a knock at the door,

"Alex, you up yet? It's 11 o'clock in the morning." Said Lisa.

"Yeah, I'm up, I'll be down in a few." She replied.

Alex got dressed and was downstairs just as there came a knock at the to The Simpson's door.

Lisa answered it and as she opened the door sighed; "How may times do I have to tell you? No!"

Alex went to Lisa's side to see whom she was talking to.

There in the doorway stood two guys, one older and taller than the other, both dressed in white collared shirts, with black ties and backpacks. Holding books with crosses on them. Their name tags said "Rodd" and "Todd Flanders" on them.

"But, Lisa," Said Rodd, "You really need the Lord's blessing."

"I'm a Buddhist, you idiot! How many times do we need to do this until you understand that?" Lisa vented.

Todd, like his father had a mustache and glasses, simply shook his head, "Oh, boy here comes miss drama queen, again. Lisa, when will you stop this foolishness and except Jesus Christ into your life?"

Lisa yelled, "When hell freezes over!" She then slammed the door in their faces.

Ned Flanders had died four years ago, leaving his home to his sons. The two then went off and joined a missionary right after dropping out of high school. They kept the house by doing telemarketing on the side, which they were apparently very good at.

"Ahg! I hate those, two." Lisa steamed.

Alex smiled. She remembered when the two of them did this to Lisa every year around Christmas time.

The two went into the kitchen and sat down to eat breakfast. Soon, Homer came in, yawned and sniffed the air.

"Mmmm. Lisa, honey, what smells so good?" He asked licking his chops.

"Veggie breakfast burritos. Want one, Dad?" Lisa smiled.

Homer made a mock gagging gesture and went to the fridge and picked out a half-empty box of "Lard Lad" doughnuts and a six pack of Duff, then went off to the living room and turned on the set.

Lisa sighed heavily. Alex knew that she was always concerned for her father's health.

Soon Marge came in and sleepily said "good morning" to them and sat down while Lisa got her mother a cup of coffee.

Alex smiled. She had always thought of Marge as a surrogate mother to her and she knew, with her children all grown up that it was a nice relief to not having the morning routine of making breakfast for everyone.

"So," Marge yawned, sleepily, "What did you girls do yesterday?"

Marge did her usual errands around town and had visited her sister Patty who was living with her new girlfriend, Yana.

Lisa sighed, "Well…we visited Bart at his office."

Marge smiled and turned to Alex. "I bet you were surprised at what's happened with him since you last saw him. I'm so proud of him. He's really turned around."

Lisa rolled her eyes and sighed heavily, "Not as much as you think, Mom. Some things with Bart never really go away."

Marge eyed her daughter, suspiciously. "What do you mean by that, Lisa?"

"When we went to his office we met his new secretary. It's Jessica Lovejoy."

Marge straightened up, "Who?" Her voice seemed to have a serious end to it.

Lisa sat back and nodded, "Jessica. She's come back to Springfield and what's she's after from Bart, he doesn't know. The thing that's surprising is that she's taking the job seriously."

Marge sighed, despairingly, and got up from the table and looked out the window. "I hope Bart remembers what kind of person she is and avoids getting into anything with her."

Both Lisa and Alex nodded. Lisa told Alex about what kind of person Jessica was on the ride back from Bart's office. She didn't do it in front of Lisa but Alex sort of laughed at Bart's situation. He always liked people who were dangerous for him. Nelson, Gina, Jessica, Sherry and Terry, Milhouse, all of them were people you'd like to avoid and yet Bart welcomed them with open arms. And yet, she also felt sorry for Bart to be hurt by these people as well.

"Hey Lisa?" She asked breaking up the negative atmosphere, "Do you think your brother could help me out finding a location for my dress shop?"

Lisa smiled, "Yeah, I believe he could. I'll bet he'll also help you with the negotiations to secure it. He's a very fierce person when he makes deals."

Alex grinned, "I remember. Back in High School, when Martin wanted to ban the school rock concerts and instead have the traditional dances, Bart spent only a couple of minutes talking with him and got Martin to change his mind."

Lisa laughed, "I remember that. Poor Martin looked as though he got his very first 'A-' after that conversation. Do you remember the concert Bart arranged for the school? He got Spinal Tap to come back to Springfield, and the night totally was awesome."

Alex, suddenly, dropped her face and looked off to the side, sadly. "Yeah…yeah, it was really great."

Lisa put a hand on her friend's, "Oh my god. Alex, I'm so sorry. I forgot about that."

Alex shrugged and managed a small smile, "It's ok. I'll live."

Lisa smiled and patted Alex's hand.

Meanwhile, at the Springfield YMCA, Maggie was getting ready for her yoga class. She'd been coming here ever since she was thirteen and was able to take classes. She loves this place. When Maggie was seven, she was surfing the Internet and found a website that had Bart's name on it called: "Bart Simpson: Springfield's Biggest Sissy". Looking into it, it was a video taken when Bart was ten and was doing a ballet number, wearing a mask. Maggie was intrigued. Not by how her brother was rushed on stage and making a fool of himself but the dancing itself. She bugged Bart for days until he finally broke down and showed her some steps. She then asked Marge to order her some dancing videos and Homer cleaned out the garage so she could practice in it. Maggie was addicted to dancing from there on in. So much, in fact, that she didn't really care about anything else. It was only when she was in High School that she decided she wanted to dance professionally that Marge objected. Marge insisted that her daughter go to college and find a job that wouldn't lead to unemployment. Maggie was a very good dancer but Marge told her to just use it for fun and not as a line of work. Maggie told her mother that she dropped out of High School and was now attending a dance academy in East Springfield. Marge was infuriated. She told Maggie that if she was going be so independent that maybe she try to find some other place to live. Maggie did, with her Aunt Selma. Selma allowed her to stay as long as she helped with the rent since Patty had moved out and into a new place with a lover. Maggie worked here as an assistant lifeguard. Swimming being another thing she loved to do. Marge and her finally got to sit down and worked out their differences but Maggie still decided to live with Aunt

Selma. Upon walking into the class, Jackie, the instructor approached Maggie.

"Hey, Mags'? I have a favor, I need to ask."

"What is it?" Maggie asked.

Jackie pointed to a woman who had long black hair and a very sultry look about her, "This is Jessica Lovejoy, she's new here. Do you mind showing her around?"

The name sounded familiar to Maggie, but she would think on it later since the class was about to start.

"Sure, ok." Maggie said.

Maggie walked up to Jessica who was busy talking with Sherry and Terry, who were regulars at the class. Maggie decided not to be rude and wait for their conversation to end.

"Wow! He was that good? Even drunk?" Sherry asked, wide-eyed.

Jessica laughed, "What can I say, I guess guys get better with age."

"Boy, Jessica, you're lucky. Just be glad Gina's not with him anymore otherwise you'd have to put up with her violent temper." Said Terry.

Maggie turned her head immediately towards the three girls.

What?

She hadn't been listening to them but was now all ears.

Jessica grinned, "Well, I don't know about "Gina", but I know how to keep a guy and not drive him away."

"But Bart Simpson? I thought you said, when we were younger, that he was too much of a wimp?" Said Sherry.

Jessica closed her eyes and gave a sort of devious, seductive, smile, "Well, that was in the past. Now that he has money, good looks, and is good at what he does. I think I could be around for awhile."

Both the twins laughed.

Maggie didn't. Instead she left. She knew if she stayed any longer she was either going to be sick from Jessica bragging about how good her brother was in bed or possibly attack that smirky bitch. Maggie knew one thing was certain, she needed to talk to Bart about this.

What deep, dark, thing in the past is troubling Alex?

Is Bart ever going to get away from Jessica Lovejoy?

Will Homer ever change his diet?

Find out all this and more on the next: Bart Simpson: Attorney at Law!