CHAPTER 010: Prejudice

"Greetings to the moon of Menotalis. May the sun of Seerian bless you, my Queen." Princess Jasmine performed the usual curtsy she would do whenever she would have to interact with her mother.

This kind of greeting was usually performed by servants to their masters.

"You may rise," Queen Eriela kept her gentle smile. "What is this that you wanted to say to me?"

Princess Jasmine may be unable to remember what expression her mother gave her when she came into this world. However, as she gained consciousness and started to understand how this life should be. She became aware that her mother did not have an ounce of affection for her.

How could she not notice when her sister was being bombarded by love that she could not receive?

Each time they had to see each other, Princess Liezel could sprint her way to their mother and behave as an undignified princess, the third Princess could do whatever she wanted.

There were instances, if the Queen were not in a good mood, she would reprimand Princess Jasmine angrily; not like how she indulgent Princess Liezel—soft voice and gentle smile. If it were Princess Jasmine, she would get a slap or brutal verbal abuse.

Princess Jasmine presumed that she was detested by her mother because she was not as adorable as her little sister.

She thought that their mother did not love her because she looked nothing like her mother at all. Which was somehow the truth, not just a conjecture of the second Princess when she was a child.

Queen Eriela told herself.

»You look nothing like me. You look like that useless father of yours, how I hate everything about you. Useless child.«

Princess Jasmine was young; she did not know anything about everything. Her heart was merely yearning for warmth from her mother, and it was not granted— It was crushed, and her emotions were invalidated.

As a result of her mother's repudiation of her, she worried she would loathe her father for causing her miserable childhood. Yet, she could not.

Her father was kind, he was giving, he was understanding, and he would always give her some of his time whenever he could. How could she hate that person?

Nevertheless, he was the King, he could not spare her his little time just because of her silly feelings.

It was lonely growing up, being unloved by her mother and her father, although he cared for her, he could not give her his time. So, he told her a trick, how to get the attention and appreciation of her mother.

»Your mother will love you if she could depend on you, Princess Jasmine. Be useful to her, that's what they want. «

Princess Jasmine was oblivious at that time, that her father's advice would lead her to who she was today.

She began to study so hard; she would not sleep for days, that her nose would bleed, or she would collapse. In due course, she gained the 'affection' she had been wishing for. Her mother gave her applause when she accidentally assisted her sister to look wise at those ambassadors.

Princess Jasmine was so happy that she did not notice…

Little by little, the appreciation of her mother towards her, was a thing that she considered affection. It became so addicting for her that Princess Jasmine became Queen Eriela's tool instead of becoming her daughter.

It was ironic.

She was a grown woman now; she had a mind and thoughts of her own. She gained experience and she was no longer ignorant of things in the world.

She knew what she became. This was whom she turned out to be.

Looking back to the day when her father told her the trick to have her mother's attention; she should not have listened; she should just have continued to become the unloved and unnoticed daughter, or she could do something else than proclaiming the Queen's instrument.

Maybe if that were the case, she would not become Princess Liezel's chaperone, nor her mother's means to do evil deeds.

Maybe if she took a right turn instead of going straight to her doom, she could live happily the way she wanted.

Maybe if she did not care about her mother's appraisal, she would not become an apathetic woman.

Maybe she could be better; maybe there was a better way to become her mother's daughter.

Maybe if she could go back in time and perseverate in everything she did. She could be the one who would sit across from the table with her mother and drink the tea with no worry about what would happen next.

It was not her, though.

That was not her position. The chair across the table, the person who could sit happily and converse with Queen Eriela was only Princess Liezel.

Her sister could be finely sitting beside their mother with a blithe smile on her face, holding a cup of her mother's favorite teacup and drinking their shared favorite vintage narcissus Wuyi Oolong tea. Whilst Princess Jasmine's place was to stand and watch them, like a servant.

She who had the same status; she who came from the same womb; she who had the same parents as her sister.

She was always the one standing in front of her mother appearing devoid of emotion.

She was always waiting for her moment to get noticed which could only be three outcomes; be praised, be reprimanded, or be disregarded.

Princess Jasmine used to be mad at this position. Now, she could not feel anything about it. Undeniably, there were subtle thoughts, nonetheless, she did not know what emotion she should have about it. Because she lived as the Queen's apparatus, everything she would do, or she would say needed permission from the Queen, even her emotions that were invalidated needed consent to be felt.

"I don't think I could tell it to you in this open space, my Queen," Princess Jasmine said to her in severity. Queen Eriela raised her eyebrows as she veered her eyes to Princess Liezel.