Chapter 233: Contemplating Death

Leilah POV

On our way back, we got some takeout, the chief isn't joining us tonight as he said that these fake rose imposters made him curious, and it's not like he needs protecting, so we sort of just let him off.

We got back to the hotel to find my own boyfriend sleeping on Maple's lap, I can tell that his family is feeling very conflicted, not everyday do you see a goddess, much less one who's real friendly with one of your relatives.

As for Buddy, for some reason, he's not swatting Maple away, if anything, he's engaging in a conversation with her. I'm jealous, he would constantly swat my hand away every time I try to get close to Perseus, even Lilith and Ruka can't really get close unless Perseus pats his head and allow them to come close, he didn't mind when it comes to his relatives though.

He's especially taken a great liking to Vince and would spend time with him when he's not with Perseus, though if he's taken a liking to one of the brothers, it's not that strange that he's also the same toward the other. As we were unpacking dinner, the fox then woke up my boyfriend who allowed me to come close.

"You got close once and now you're sleeping on her lap?"

"Are you jealous?" he asked

"More like envious, I think."

"Of me or your sister?"

"Both, I should be the one whose lap you sleep on and well, Maple is my favorite sister, Ruka's a close second."

"Let's just have dinner first, we can discuss this later."

I remember when I first met him, no smile, nothing, his eyes were so empty...and now, even though it's full of life, his eyes tell me that he's in a state of distress. He wants to leave this tournament, but he can't, he needs that prize, if he leaves now and stops all these other projects, the war will be against the village since it will all connect back to him.

So he now only can bid time, the prize he needs right now is more important as it can be used to help the kids get back and vital for us to travel to the other side. He can steal it, but his sudden disappearance won't be good, all of it leads to people attacking his village, and he can only do things the proper way even if he doesn't like it.

Reading the diaries may have been a mistake, he's learned of many projects written by the first demon lord, plans and projects he's learned from everywhere in the world, even though they were deemed impossible, now one of them succeeded, and chances of the others existing and already succeeded can't escape from his mind.

These projects use humans subjects, something that he himself went through, and one of the flaws he has is that he wants revenge, and that's his sole goal of going back, all these excuses were for him to go kill the mastermind, Cain, the man in charge of his torturous time, Keith Hughes. Revenge dominates his mind more than he thinks.

I fear that the day he achieved his revenge, he'll become empty, for me, as much as I hate to say it, it's going to be hard for me to comfort him. To me, human lives are something I can dismiss more than anyone thinks, I have lived for so long that sometimes loss of lives doesn't earn any sympathy from me.

He will question himself for the people he's killed along the way, and I won't know how to answer it.

To me death is something the universe needs, it's necessary, I don't really care who, souls die and reincarnate, and even gods can die and have their power passed on to someone else to take over. Many gods on the other side realized this, living forever, sometimes, you lose your purpose, and for me, being on the moon for this long, I also questioned my own purpose.

My powers are too powerful for someone to wield, and so my father sealed me away, yet the world moved on without me, the war is still going to start and end by someone else, I feel empty whenever I think about it, it's why I wish Perseus would be my only lord, I plan to die this time around.

I was known back in the day as the rose of death, any mortal who even came close, just a tiny bit of my scent was enough to drive one insane before long, death, and I felt nothing.

The only time I felt some sort of empathy was by talking with someone for a long time, Perseus fit those criteria, in a way, he was very empty like me, a man who has been sealed away in isolation, with no true company with no one to trust, it was...a sad time for him.

He can't feel anything, and at some point, the loneliness and pain became dull. I've searched for a worthy person and one of the criteria is that I didn't person other than the fact that they have to die once before merging with me as I marked them before the time of their eventual death.

I only learned it as I kept on searching because I made the mistake of trying to mark someone who I thought was worthy, but the marking didn't work, I did an experiment on others, and even though they weren't worthy, I found that I can only mark a person who was contemplating death, my powers were to give them a second chance, and Perseus was the one I chose in the end.

I don't regret it now, I've grown to love him, but I wish I can be the one who can save him in times of darkness. If he's going to fight Cain, I fear that somewhere deep inside him, he might not think of it as enough and go after innocents close to him.