Chapter １８

He spits out a gruff, "Yeah."

My hips move as I fuck his hand as hard as he'll let me. I really need to have sex. Do you think it's wise to entrust such knowledge to a naive young man like him? I seize his free hand and place it on one of my exposed breasts. Shouldn't I have an older, wiser guy make sure it's beneficial for me?

“Anna.”

The words "No one has to know" come out of my mouth in a low whisper. In the mirror, I catch him observing me. You don't have to be my first to keep it a secret. It will be between the two of us.

I don't place a high value on being a virgin. I gave up religion when I lost my parents, but even if I hadn’t, I don’t believe any gods out there actually care about where or not I’ve had sex. Those who want to regulate how young women express themselves sexually are the only ones who seem concerned with morality. For my part, I refuse to engage in such drivel.

Right before I turned 20, I experienced sex for the first time. He was a wonderful person who handled me with great care. If anything, I sensed that he was more anxious than I was. We dated a few months and then went our own ways with no harsh feelings. So sure, I don’t think for a second that the first person you sleep with miraculously connects you to them for the rest of your life.

But as I sit here imagining things with David, it seems especially seductive to lean into those preconceptions, to place much more significance on my imagined virginity than I ever did on the actual thing.

David's kiss on my neck is passionate to the point of being nearly painful. If I were to put you in a bed, I would. Should put you to bed, caress you tenderly, and treat you like a virgin."

I can't seem to catch my breath. Is that really the case, though? My tone is too optimistic, but I can't stop myself. A little bell rings within of me; yes. Definitely make it dirtier, please. Take care of me like I'm your little slutty princess. If he had attempted to be careful with me when I was 19, I would have laughed in his face. I was still too inebriated by my newfound independence to be able to handle much of anything, and I was looking for anything or anybody that might help me forget my problems for a while.

That's what I need to do. When I try to avoid it, he thrusts two fingers inside me. To care for you is my responsibility. Slowly, he penetrates me with his fingers, and I've never been more appreciative of a mirror. It's easier for me to understand things when I can see them. I've always been this way. That I can see him touching me like this makes it all the more satisfying when it really happens.

Never in a million years would you catch me fucking in the dark.

Take good care of me, please.

David's finger fucking is deliberate, as he continues going further and deeper into the void. Then he extends his hand again. Can't believe nobody's had this pussy before, he growls. When you're moist and tight, "you feel so fucking amazing."

"You do, too," they say. Gasping, I wriggle at his touch, but he has me held too tightly for me to do anything except go at his speed. Saying, "I want more."

"Must go cautiously. Preparation is the key.

I make an exasperated noise and then reach around to the back of my chair. When David lets go, I'm able to undo his trousers. Nothing just a game. Constant protest is required. However, we are both aware of the truth: we cannot wait to finally have him within me. I unhook his scrotum and hold still. The size difference between you and I is too great. My apprehension isn't completely faked. A little lapse of memory caused me to miss it. Making him fit will need some effort.

As he moves, David takes a bottle from his pocket. While looking at it critically in the low light, I frown. What is that?

“Lube. The answer is yes; it will be useful. He lifts me up little so he can adjust his cock to a more comfortable position.

As I watch, he uses little effort to slather himself with lubrication. You've got some lubricant with you.

"I made a hurried buy."

Ah. That's a more reasonable explanation. The carrying of lubrication is less practical than carrying condoms, yet someone of David's stature could require the latter. If I wasn't looking so intently at his cock, I may find the concept amusing. After having him in my mouth for a while, I'm certain he's grown in size.

My large hand is wrapped around his cock as he guides it to my doorway. Slow down. Time is moving at your will."

I let him gently descend into me, pausing when just his head was still outside. It's tempting to want to speed things up, but I realize that this is only a game. The size difference between you and I is too great.

Is the birthday girl "getting cold feet?" He tightens his hold on my hip and slides me farther along his body. I'm a whimpering wreck. David makes me go down his cock even farther. Oh my God, he's a big guy. The shape doesn't quite work for me, and if I didn't like a little pain along with my pleasure, it could be too much. He mutters, "I should quit." Still another. You need to tell me to stop.