Nineteen

"Okay, so, first I think we should get food, right? Then maybe go and do something fun, bowling? Skating? Go to a park and feed the ducks? What do you think?" Yibo asks Zhan who sat in the passenger side of the car.

"I-uh, um, yeah anything is fine," Zhan says, still stunned by the fact that he's actually out of the prison and in the real world. Zhan shrugs, looking out the big window in front of them and getting lost in the image of cars driving all around, something that's so simple to the normal eye but so foreign to him. "I just feel bad. Like I'm some charity case or something."

"You're not a charity case. I'm doing this for me just as much as I'm doing this for you, honestly." Yibo says. "This is giving me the satisfaction of knowing that you're getting to do all this one last time."

Zhan doesn't respond, as the weight of Yibo's words linggers. It's hard knowing that this really is the last time. That it's the last time he's going to be doing anything at all, including living.

"Yeah, fine," Zhan says, seeming to understand Yibo's point.

"Yay," Yibo smiles, continuing the drive to the house. Zhan is lost in his own world when Yibo pulls the car into the driveway of their old apartment.

Zhan ge, we are here. Yibo says snapping Zhan back to reality.

You are still here? Zhan asks, sounding surprised Yibo still stays there.

This is the only place full with memories of you. Yibo replied, sounding sad.

They got out of the car and walked up the stairs and into the room. Zhan just laid on the bed and took a deep breath. Thinking of how perfect his life was. How much he missed Yibo. He just lays there, head buried in the pillow.

Yibo walks over to his wardrobe and brings out clothes for Zhan to try on. He can't go out in his prison clothes.

Zhan ge, Yibo tabs him on the shoulder. He takes one last long sniff and turns to pick a top.

"Well, do you like it or not?" Yibo asks, not wanting Zhan to pick something he doesn't want to wear.

"I do, and even if I didn't, I'm gonna be wearing it for a few hours, it doesn't really matter," Zhan says with a dry chuckle.

"That's true but still." Yibo folds the shirt over his forearm.

"Is it terrible of me to say that I don't really even want jeans?" Zhan asks. "Like I find them so uncomfortable."

"No, I'm the same way. If I could live in sweats I would. You should just get matching black joggers or something?" Yibo says.

"Fine, but do they have to be the same brand?"

"They don't have to be the same," Yibo tells Zhan, knowing he would feel guilty too.

Zhan picks up a jogger and quickly changes into them.

"That's so hot," Yibo says, eyeing Zhan in his new clothes.

The black shirt fit him perfectly, it wasn't at all baggy but it wasn't too tight that it looked uncomfortable. It definitely showed off his body though, that was for sure. The joggers were simple but somehow Zhan wearing them just looked so good.

"Thanks" Zhan says, looking down at his outfit and smoothing out his shirt. Zhan turned around and looked at the place one last time before they walked downstairs and into the car.

"Yeah um, so food right?" Yibo asks, starting the car and pulling out of the apartment parking lot. "Where do you want to go?

"I truly don't care, Bo. You pick."

"Zhan ge, you're picking. I can go and get food anytime I want, you can't."

"Okay, um, let's go to the restaurant." What do they have that I can cook? Zhan asks, looking out of his window.

"Anything really. What type of food are you wanting?" Yibo asks.

"Honestly? I don't really want fancy. I kinda want fast food," Zhan says.

"Really?"

"I mean yeah, I want something that's really satisfying and as nice as fancy food is, cheap Chinese food sounds extremely good right now."

Yibo smiles at Zhan and nods. "Okay, Chinese food it is."

"Alright, that's not far at all. Five minutes from here," Zhan says, switching lanes and making the turn that leads to the restaurant.

The car ride is short, but Zhan appreciates it nonetheless. Yibo let him pick the music and they blasted it, driving with the windows down and the wind messing up their hair.

"Come here," Yibo says to Zhan before they walk into the restaurant. Zhan does as told, walking over to Yibo who then stands on his toes and reaches up to move his hair back into place. "There."

"Thanks," Zhan says with an amused smile.

As they walk into the restaurant, a small bell chimes, signaling the door has been open. There's a small line, one that's not too long and not too short. Can a line ever be too short?

Zhan looks around and loves what Yibo has done with the place. He is really proud of him.

Zhan ge, why don't we go into the office and ask the chef to make something for us? I want to spend more time with you. Yibo says, pulling Zhan over to the entrance of the kitchen.

Yibo walks in and tells the chef to prepare Chinese for them and with that, they both walk to the office and sit down.

Once they get situated, Zhan grabs a fortune cookie from the table and opens it, reading the small little paper inside.

"What?" Yibo asks when Zhan chuckles at what it says.

Zhan just looks up and hands Yibo the paper.

'You will live a long and fulfilling life'

"Zhan ge that's not fucking funny," Yibo says, not being able to hide the small smirk that appears from the ironic message.

"I think it's pretty fucking funny," Zhan argues, taking a bite of the cookie.

Of course he felt his heart shatter at what the paper said, but he refused to let it ruin this moment. He was happy that even if they were both dying inside, they could still laugh together.

And that was the thing about Zhan. No matter how upset Yibo was, Zhan always could make him smile genuinely. Their food arrived moments later and they ate in silence.

"Thanks for doing this, Bo, it really means a lot," Zhan says as they both finish up eating.

"Don't thank me, I'm so so happy I got to do this, that we got to do this. You don't deserve what you're getting, and I don't know how it even happened, how there wasn't another retrial or something, but this really is the least you do deserve."

"Yeah, I don't know. I tried to appeal again but lawyer Yang says once the jury decided then that's what other jury's would do" Zhan says.

"It's not supposed to be so though, the justice system sucks, and I'm honestly surprised because of that, you're a white attractive male, and the story was that you did it to protect me, I don't know how you ended up in this position."

"The Yang's family had a great lawyer and the jury was biased I think. Like in their religious and political views."

Zhan talked about it so casually. As if he had just accepted it a long time ago and Yibo just didn't understand how he could be that way.

"Why don't we try and repeal it now?" Yibo asked. He knows lawyer Yang said that it was too late, but was it really?

"I think, as terrified as I am, and as much as I want to live a life or whatever, I'm also kinda ready."

"How though? How can you be ready when you're so young? You have so much you could do."

Zhan shrugs as he collects the garbage off of their table and piles it all on the tray their food came on. "I don't know," he says as he stands up and quickly throws everything away in the nearby trash can while Yibo puts his jacket on and also stands up.

"If you could hit a button to go back, would you? To like, do things differently?" Yibo asks, as they walk out of the restaurant together.

"Maybe. I don't know. I mean, if I did, I might not have met you and that would be tragic," Zhan says.

"I think we would've met one way or another. Fate and all that shit," Yibo says as they both get into the car. "I wish you were allowed to leave this town, there's this really cool park like two towns over and it's so pretty."

"There's gotta be a park around here right?" Zhan asks.

Yibo buckles and starts the car. "Yeah but it's not as cool Is that, where you wanna go?"

Zhan shrugs. "Sure, it'd be nice to see nature and all that."

"Okay, to the park then."

On the way there, they once again blast music but this time, Yibo grabs Zhan's hand and they stay that way for the rest of the ride. It felt nice to be so... free. Yibo can't imagine how it must feel for Zhan.

"Okay, how many hours before we have to start driving back to the prison? " Yibo says, checking his phone as they pull into the park.

"I don't know," Zhan says, unbuckling his seatbelt and following Yibo as they get out of the car.

It's a beautiful park really. The trees were full, the grass was green, there wasn't any trash laying around. It was clearly well kept by the city.

There were trails that started by where the trees grew to be thicker, and it seemed to be more of a real forest. Zhan didn't know where to go so he just let Yibo take the lead.

"So, I've only been here a few times, I know the general paths and stuff so we should probably just stay on that and not go off to any smaller ones," Yibo says.

Zhan nods and lets Yibo walk a bit in front of him. The smell of fresh air fills his lungs and the soft breeze brushes against his face as they walk deeper onto the path.

"Do you like bugs?" Yibo asks.

"Uh, I mean I don't hate them," Zhan says.

"We should go caterpillar hunting."

Zhan shrugs with a soft smile of adoration for Yibo. "Okay, sure."

So the two continue their walk, glancing at the leaves and wildflowers as they do so, on a mission to find a caterpillar to make their temporary pet for the little time they had left.

"How did you get your tattoos In prison?" Yibo asks Zhan, who was pretty focused on the task at hand.

"Some guys had the stuff. I don't know where they got it or how they didn't get caught but I will say, I paid a lot in commissary to get this many done," Zhan explains.

"I like them. I've told you that but I'm telling you again."

"Thanks." Zhan says with a small chuckle.

"Hey, I think I found one."

"Really, where?" Yibo asks, quickly walking right over to where Zhan was at and looking down at the plants. Zhan points it out and then reaches down to pick it up. "It's a Wooly Bear caterpillar. They're safe," he says.

"How do you know?" Yibo asks as he leans in to look at the bug crawling on Zhan's hand.

"My sister found one once and looked it up. We tried to keep it as a pet but it died after a few days. It was sad."

"What should we name it?'

"You pick," Zhan says.

"No you."

Zhan jokingly rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Fine, Milo."

"I like it though so we'll just have to ignorantly assume it's gender," Yibo says with a shrug.

As they continued their walk through the park, Zhan and Yibo continued to talk about different things from childhood stories to their worst teacher in school. It was nice to feel normal for once. To not feel confined to the small cement cell they were far too used to.

Somewhere along the trail they let Milo go, saying their goodbyes before they kept walking. When Zhan came across some pretty yellow flowers, he picked a few and handed them to Yibo, who then started to dramatically fake cry as if it was some sort of marriage proposal.