Falling Apart

           In the morning Mama Williams was back again at Cypher and Ret's house. She knocked on the door and Charlie opened it. He had a bit of a nervous look. "What's wrong bud?.." Mama asked immediately and let her in. "Well the big guy and Cypher just got into a fight over something...I heard a thud from another room and Ret stormed out of the house." He explained. "Which room" she asked and he led her to Cypher's bedroom. Mama at first knocked and heard and got an angry response. "I said not now Charlie!!" Cypher yelled from in side. "Cypher what's going on?" Mama asked and the girl went dead silent. "Cypher.." she tapped on the door again but got no answer. Mama then slowly opened the door and saw Cypher sitting on her bed with her back to the door. She didn't turn and look when she heard the door open. Mama noticed fresh blood droplets on the floor and rushed to Cypher.

       "What happened?.." Mama looked at Cypher who was holding a bloodied cloth to her nose. "Nothing it's fine." She snapped and Mama shook her head. "Why is your nose bleeding" Mama wasn't going to leave her alone now. "I just got overheated ok." She rolled her eyes and Mama went to Cypher's back pack and grabbed a shirt out of it. She walked back to Cypher and put it next to her. "Once your nose stops bleeding change your shirt." Mama told her while gently tilting her head back so the bleeding will stop quicker. "Can I have a talk with you though?" Mama asked and Cypher sighed. "Fine." She snapped and Mama looked back at Charlie. "Go hang out with Bones for a little while. He would love to meet you again" she smiled and Charlie nodded and walked away.

"So how are you feeling" Mama asked while cleaning up the droplets on the floor. "Seriously." Cypher rolled her eyes and Mama asked again. "How are you feeling?" She repeated and stood up. "I'm..." she sighed and lowered her head. "Fine. I'm fine." She decided and Mama raised her eyebrow. "With or without a bottle within reach." Mama stated and Cypher quickly looked at her with wide eyes. She then shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about." Cypher frowned. Mama walked to her and and sat next to her. "Mind telling me why I found you passed out drunk with an empty bottle of what I'm guessing was whiskey at the kitchen table last night" Mama said bluntly and Cypher seemed to be trying to think of a reasonable explanation. "Ret told me since Jet died every night you were passed out at the table. Is this true?" Mama asked and Cypher stayed silent and looked down. Mama sat there and waited for an answer but she never got one.

"What's on your mind Cy?..." she asked and tried to put her arm around Cypher but she just scooted away. "Nothing. I'm fine." Cypher growled but avoided eye contact. "What was the fight over this morning then?" She asked and Cypher went quiet again. After a few minutes of waiting Cypher finally spoke up. "Me drinking too much..." she confessed and Mama nodded. "Can I touch you?" She asked and Cypher slowly nodded. Mama wrapped her arms around Cypher and held her there. "You gotta talk to me baby..." Mama coaxed and leaned her head on top of Cypher's. "I said I'm fine." Cypher told her. Mama noticed her agitation but decided to press on. "Why won't you tell me what's going on in that head of yours" Mama kept prodding, trying to get Cypher to talk. She had a feeling that she was going to have to make Cypher blow up to actually get her talking so that's what she decided to do. Mama kept asking and asking, waiting for Cypher's fuse to run out and after the fifth time Cypher finally lost it.

She got up, yanking herself out of Mama's grip. "Listen woman! Ask me one more fucking time I dare you!! One out of the 2 of my brothers just got killed in his sleep and what am I supposed to do?! Just go on like everything is right in this goddamn hell of a world?!" She screamed at her and paced around the room. Cypher dropped the cloth and just let her nose bleed. She went on screaming and some point Mama didn't think she was actually saying any words anymore. Mama Williams just sat on the bed and watched her break down. Mama knew if she tried to get a hold of her right now it would lead to one of them getting hurt and herself possibly getting killed. So she sat there and painfully watched Cypher scream and cry until she burnt herself out.

One Cypher had finally lost energy and fell to her knees on the floor and laid down. Laying her head on the wood and shook. She held herself tightly and cried. Mama waited a few minutes to give Cypher some time to calm down before she risked trying to touch her again. Finally Mama slowly moved to the floor and gathered Cypher in her arms. She felt Cypher cling to her immediately and sob in her shoulder. No words were exchanged between them for awhile. They both just sat there on the floor.

Charlie came back early and decided to poked his head into Cypher's bedroom. He was quickly swatted away by Mama who was holding sleeping Cypher. Mama was holding a clean cloth to Cypher's bleeding nose and had made her take her trench coat off earlier. Mama was gently rocking her to keep her asleep for as long as possible. She wasn't expecting that much of an outburst but she got what she needed out of it so she was content. When Cypher's nose finally stopped bleeding she tossed the rag off to the side and gently stroked her hair. Anything to keep this girl calm now was Mama's goal.