FORGIVING HIM WOULD BE A SIN

I welcomed the scent of blood as though I was a barbarian merely living for savage reasons. I wanted to keep inhaling blood's coppery scent, letting it cascade down my throat, as though it was an aromatic fragrance of herbs for treating one's soreness.

I needed it to soothe me from the darkness confined in this penitentiary. I wanted to relive these destructive thoughts to relieve them.

A rough chuckle cracked out from my prisoner, breaking the solemn membrane enveloping me. He rolled his limbless body to lie on his back and continuously mocked me with his joy.

"You remind me of myself..." he croaked out.

I winced from his comment and roughly threw the bar of metal to his face. If he didn't turn out to be this disgusting piece of waste, I would have been flattered by his comment.

"I am nothing like you."

Instead of groaning in pain like he usually did, he simply stared up with a sneer.

"You know the one thing I regret not doing, Lucius?"

I refuse to participate in his game of questions. Whoever created this trash really screwed up. When he realized that I wasn't going to answer his dying request for cooperation, he continued.

"It's not fighting for my right to claim my title to be your father—" he spoke, ending his sentence with a cough.

I snorted, leaning against the bars of metal behind me.

"Has dying so many times made you come up with this rubbish?"

"I don't care if you believe me or not. I just thought that it was a waste. I wouldn't be experiencing this now if I told you the truth. We could have enjoyed your brother...together."

Four sharp metal poles pierced through his shoulders and waist. Iltut screamed but it wasn't enough to make me stop. He raised his head to look at me with that sinister smile on him.

"You are a bastard child. Meria kept you away from me and because of that, I swore vengeance. So what's a better revenge than messing with the head of her other son?"

I grabbed a handful of his hair. Nothing comes out right from his mouth.

"My mother would never betray my father. You are sick!"

He wormed his way to get closer to my feet. His eyes glued to me like a parasite. "Blood and flesh we are the same. I am proud of the man you have become, son."

There was no way. There was no way I could be his son. There were times in the past when I'd joke about him being my real father when otou and I would have our contretemps, but after discovering what this man had done to my brother, remembering how I was so fond of this monster made me become so repulsed by the mere thought.

"Go fuck yourself!" I snarled.

A longer and thicker pole emerged from the ceiling and ended his stories of detritus with one crushing drop. My breaths were so deep and raucous that I staggered back, hands catching me from behind.

"Master Lucius, Garrison, and Lettuce just arrived. They would like to speak with you," Aramastus notified me.

I looked down upon the mushy remains of Iltut before walking out of the cell. Aramastus stared at the corpse. He hummed in delight.

"That looks great. What a work of art."

I lightly hit his temple with the side of my fist. Shivers coursed through my spine when his pupils narrowed into a sharp slit.

"Death is so beguiling, don't you think so too master?"

"Stop it, you creep."

His pupils returned to normal. "Forgive me, I got too excited."

I released a sigh, placing my hand on top of his head as I remembered his history. It was selfish of me to take him away from what he desired the most, but I couldn't bear to see his life end when he hadn't even lived it up to the fullest.

"Aramastus...Are you happy?"

I constantly shouted at him, ridiculed him, and had my harshness with him. There were occasions when it made me overthink my actions. He does what I ask him and does it best– taking lives.

"Why do you ask?"

I let my hand drop to my side, shrugging my shoulders.

"I'm curious if you ever regretted following me here."

"Master, I didn't follow you here...you actually dragged me and forced me to treatment."

I scoffed. "Ah right...It's for your own good."

"Of course, whatever you say," he responded.

I glared at him.

"Are you mocking me?"

My nagging mouth went on until we reached the meeting room with Laeroth, Ikesha, Garrison, and Lettice settled around the table.

"Yohoo Lucius!" Lettice greeted. She was in her usual drunken manner even though she wasn't at all drinking alcohol. "Oh Aramastus, won't you date me?" She batted her eyelashes at him.

"I'm not interested in green leafy vegetables such as you," my subordinate responded, causing the stentorian woman to pout.

I pulled a chair back, plopping with a sigh. "Hello to the both of you and welcome back." I forgot to ask Aramastus if I had any blood stains on my clothes anywhere.

Garrison gently placed his cup of tea down. "It is so nice to be back indeed but with some gruesome news that we carry I doubt that we deserve your heartfelt welcome."

"Tell us what you've seen there, Garrison." Ikesha poured him another cup of tea.

"The right-handlers have been engaging in nefarious activities to feed their parched lands. They have succumbed in rapacity. They used the blood of the fairies to water their plants to increase the rate of growth of their crops."

Laeroth scoffed. "That's nonsense. I have never heard of fairy blood that's able to accelerate crop growth."

Aramastus' eyes seem to show interest. "The right-handlers are still in alliance with the vampires aren't they?"

"You are correct," Ikesha answered.

"Regardless of that alliance, what are they doing in vampire territory slaughtering people who are under Vosredal rule?" Aramastus brought up and had us all intrigued for he had a rational point there. "Unless..." he trailed off.

All of us waited for the continuation. A minute passed, frustration pinched me. "Hey, aren't you going to continue?!"

"Ah please wait a moment, my thought got stuck."

I hooked my arm around his neck. "Don't start something you can't finish!"

Ikesha snapped her fingers. "I can see where Aramastus is heading."

I let go of the idiot, focusing my attention on Ikesha, who then let another minute pass by without saying anything.

Laeroth nudged her elbow. "Hey what is it?!"

"Oh, were you all waiting for me to speak up?"

"Obviously!" Lettice groaned.

"I'm sorry. I thought it would be rude of me to steal Aramastus' spotlight."

I poured myself a cup of tea. Perhaps this would soothe my headache. "This is no time to be polite, out with it, you two."

"There is a God worshiped by the Vosredal Empire named Akro. It is said that a person's wish can be granted if you offer him blood," Aramastus said.

"But why fairies?" I asked.

"Akros' lover was a fairy but she left Akros for a vampire nobleman," Garrison explained.

"A nobleman over a God, isn't she unwise?" Laeroth laughed.

"Akros took the form of a nobleman and decided to test her loyalty to him. When she chose the nobleman over him, he became vengeful and put a curse on the entire vampire race and killed her."

"Aw..." Lettice cooed. "That's such a sweet and sappy romance!"

"So let me get this straight: Right-Handlers are in Vosredal territory to get the blood of faeries for their crops and by doing so, they are also pleasing the God of Vampires in the process. I feel like there's still more to it than pleasing Akros."

"We don't know. That's all the information Lettice and I could gather."

"Whatever it is, both kingdoms need to be stopped." Ikesha bit on the biscuit that she kept flipping over her fingers like a coin.

Lettice bounced her seat. "What do we do?"

"Tomorrow we will evacuate the villages and give them a safe place to stay. I would assume that the villages are guarded so we do this operation first thing in the morning. We wouldn't want to face vampires at night where they can move freely."

"Good plan," Laeroth approved. "Let's spread the word. Gather the members Aramastus."

"Will do," he responded and vanished.

"Oh Lucius, may I interact harmlessly with your brother?" Garrison asked. "I would like to test out the new colors I have created on his face. It would look marvelously on him!"

The hairs on my nape stood. "Those colors aren't from your victims, right?"

Garrison laughed like a noble woman from a very prestigious family.

"Silly man, of course not! These are specially made for beauty and for the divine."

"Okay, but don't force him to do things he doesn't want."

Lucian has become increasingly responsive today with the help of Fenris. Caleb didn't show himself. He withdrew to his wolf form as soon as my brother became conscious. Little by little, Lucian started to eat food again. He'd sometimes stay in the dining area with the rest of the Scums with Fenris accompanying him. I have yet to hear his voice again.

A huge part of me was envious that he was more amenable and responsive to Fenris. I guess there are just things that can be done more with a bond between mates.

Ah...I was honestly not ready to let him go. This was just too sudden. Maybe I should invite Caleb for a drink halfway across the world and leave him there until I was ready to surrender my brother to him.

After imparting the plan to the rest of the Scums, I checked in with Lucian, excited to see how Garrison colored his face. Lettice popped out beside me, planting a playful kiss on my cheek before shoving me against the wall, running off towards the room. I swayed my head at her childish antics.

"Kindly please hand me that smaller brush?" Garrison asked. It was comical that he made a huge and menacing werewolf to be his assistant in his hobby.

I couldn't see much of Lucian. Garrison was in the way so I settled by merely listening to them.

"You're so handsome!" Lettice cooed. "All the men and women in the neighborhood would be fawning over you."

Only if they survive before they could even lay their eyes on him.

"Oh, I am very certain that no man can resist him in his enchanting spell," Garrison praised.

How can they show resistance if they will wound up dead?

"Any man would proudly introduce you as his other half," Lettice added.

The dead cannot show pride especially if they were in pieces.

"Lucius, why don't you stop looking like an upset duck at the corner and come over here!" Lettice snorted.

Shit, I was caught.

I rubbed the back of my neck, entering the room with my head held high. I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. I was falling asleep. I woke up when I felt my head drop down.

"Are you done?" I yawned.

Fenris was assisting Garrison but he was facing the other way and wasn't allowed to peek.

"Just a moment and... there!" Garrison concluded, moving away to let us see.

The slight scowl on my face softened. Garrison colored his eyelids with a matte blue shade. His cheeks were mildly shaded with light pink. Fenris was pleased with the results as he wagged his tail rather eagerly. My brother stared at himself in the mirror with no reaction.

I sauntered towards him, sat at the edge of the bed, and admired his face. Garrison cleaned up his materials.

"Well then, if you excuse us. Lettice, it's your turn."

"Make my eyes look like they're on fire!" Lettice cheered.

"Let me set them on fire for you then."

As their voices faded I inched myself closer to my brother.

"How are you feeling?"

Lucian placed the mirror down beside him, raising his eyes to meet mine.

"I want...out," he murmured.

"What?"

He moistened his lips with his tongue.

"This room...I don't want to be here."

I grew increasingly worried about his discomfort.

"Do you want to switch rooms?"

He swayed his head, leaning slightly forward.

"No...I want to be outside."

His voice showed no indication of any struggle. His face was always a blank page for me. I wished I understood him more so that I could do more for him.

"Why do you want to be outside?"

Lucian embraced himself loosely.

"Trapped...I feel trapped."

I managed to whisper a soft "Alright'', guiding him off of the bed, holding his hand like a fragile plate.

"We will do that...You won't feel that appalling feeling anymore." I took him into my embrace, making sure that he wasn't suffocating.

I kept swallowing down the abhorrence I felt for everything that had happened that I was incapable of preventing. I clenched my hands in a tight fist, trying to calm the thumping in my chest.

"Will you walk with him, Fenris? I'll be right back."

"Woof!"

I nodded at the werewolf, exiting the room. I walked with ease, my pace sped until I felt myself storming in the hallway, I headed towards the prison ground to relieve the tightness in my chest. To my quick surprise, Ikesha was waiting for me in front of the stairs with a knowing look of disappointment.

"Stop Lucius. Nothing beneficial will come out of it."

"Get out of my way," I seethed.

"Let him go, Lucius. The past can never be rewritten and you're only worsening things not only for you but also for your brother."

I punched the wall and glared hard at her. "To forgive him would be a sin."

She crossed her arms in front of her. She wasn't backing down.

"We sin all the time but I'm not telling you to forgive him by turning away. A knight must know when the battle is over. He must realize when to lay his sword so that no one else would get hurt by it."

"I do this not because I'm a knight fighting in a war, Ikesha. I stand before you not as a man who has a knighthood to protect but as a man whose brother was wronged in ways unimaginable. So stop saying that this is war..." I trailed. "Because this is personal vengeance."

She stopped me one last time with her final statement.

"If you continue to chase the past you are letting it play more roles in the present. How can you truly move on?"

"The past will always be a part of us, Ikesha. It follows us wherever we go and we carry it with us to our graves. In the end, as we use up our last breaths, the past is all we have to either make us crave for more time in the world or just accept death as it is."

Ikesha had no more response after that. I took that as a sign that she understood where I was coming from and headed to the prison. I sat at the bench in front of the cell with Iltut's reeking corpse. I leaned my forearms on my thighs. My subordinate appeared beside me with the wicket and the token in his hold.

"Ikesha didn't seem very pleased with you master," Aramastus commented.

"So you were eavesdropping again."

"I will always be wherever the master is."

"Ah...creep," I chuckled. I didn't even have the energy to scold him.

"What you said made me think..." he confessed.

"About what?"

"What I was thinking when I attempted to end it all." I rested against the wall, crossing my leg over the other.

"What were you thinking at that time?"

Aramastus tilted his head at the wicket as he stared at it.

"No memory was worth occupying my mind at that time. I kept on asking myself if I've really reached the endpoint of life. Once I do it there's no turning back."

"So you were going to do it no matter what?"

"I fantasized dying because she embraced death and chose it over me. She wanted death more than anything. I wanted to follow her after the war ended."

Losing the purpose to live was a lethal thing. His sister was all he had left.

"So you were an idiot even before we met."

The Higher-Order was to blame for all of this but his sister shouldn't have made that choice just to bring the ruthlessness out of him.

"Are you still thinking of taking your own life?"

Aramastus handed me the wicket. "I still do but your little speech earlier had me thinking that I wasn't ready yet."

This got me alarmed. I had to keep a closer watch on this idiot from now on.

"Why so?"

"I'm still collecting memories to reminisce. Until then, please put my funeral on hold."

My lips slightly curled. I slapped his back.

"Who told you that we'll hold a funeral? We'll just throw you in the ocean and let the sea monsters deal with you."

"My master would put much effort into me? I don't think I can repay—"

"Shut up!" I growled. The coward vanished before my fist could meet his cheek, leaving the coin rolling inside the cell.

I picked up the coin that stopped right in front of Iltut. The wicket wasn't given to me for this purpose but I was so engrossed with revenge. Instead of spending all my energy to make up for the lost time with my brother; to give him the care and love he missed out, I chose to stay cooped up in this place to reheat water that was no longer drinkable.

"Please stop."

My eyes widened. I twirled around when Lucian spoke behind me. He was holding the bars of the cell as he stood on his wounded feet.

"What are you doing here?!"

Lucian winced. Fenris caught him before he could fall backward. I hurried out of the cell, guiding him to the bench.

"How can you let him come here Fenris?"

"It was not his fault. I forced myself to come here because I wanted to say goodbye," Lucian monotonously defended.

I knelt in front of him. "Say goodbye to whom?"

Lucian raised his gaze, looking past me. He was referring to Iltut.

"Why? Why would you risk seeing him again after all he's done to you?"

I kept him oblivious, distancing him from this place because I didn't want him to relive that trauma. I didn't expect that he'd come here on his own free will.

"Because I am tired of letting fear rule me."

This was the same brat I busted out of the castle.

This was the same brat who barred himself from the world and kept to himself.

No... I guess it was foolish of me to say that he was the same brat.

I let Lucian stand on his own for him to bow properly. I frankly don't know what Iltut's reaction would be but I wouldn't revive him for that. All the inner conflict stirring my insides dispersed. My brother made peace with his monster, I should work hard to do the same.

"Onii, I am hungry."

"Hai hai, (Yes yes) I can't believe you have an appetite after seeing what's in here."

"Fenris is very hungry too. He specifically asked for broccoli," he deadpanned. The werewolf howled in agony.

"I doubt he can even articulate that vegetable..."

Even if he was maturing so fast, he still had his childish sides that I had the responsibility to spoil.

"Onii, let's go."

I ruffled his hair, planting a chaste kiss on his head.

I will make sure that I'll remain by his side from now on.