Chapter 20

ALEX

I

I don't know what had happened to Gabriela to make her angry with me, the only thing clear to me was I'm going to reach her to ask her, I wasn't going to be left with the doubt if I had done something that would have bothered her or what. 

When I finally find her and the impression, she gives me is she also saw me, I notice she's holding Marcos's hand, which makes me angry, but I also remember that's why I lost her, because of my jealousy even though she had told me thousands of times they were like siblings, so I relaxed and stared at her until they left. 

It's at that moment I realize I'm an asshole for thinking she and Marcos were together and I get mad at myself for even thinking about it. I was going to the car when I received a call I was not going to answer, but due to the insistence they have, I answered it. 

"I thought you weren't going to answer me, man." I heard on the other end of the line "Diego?" I asked even though I looked at the name after hearing his voice " Sure, who else?" he asked ironically "It could be a lot of people, but why are you calling man? We should meet the boys one day." 

"Well, that's why I call you." assured "To hang out?" I asked. " It's not exactly hung out, but it's for you to come to the frat party tonight." he replied and I frowned "Do you want me to go to a party? From your fraternity?" I inquired "That's right. There will be many girls. You should go out and flirt a bit, you haven't since you and that girl broke up." he insisted and I rolled my eyes, because it wasn't the first time, he told me "And I'm not going to flirt with anyone to make it clear." 

"We'll see, never say never. Or are you hiding something from me I don't know?" he asked and I denied even though he couldn't see me "I'll tell you, don't worry." I affirmed " You better, and if it can be tonight at the party." he insisted "Sure, tonight." 

"Well, until tonight. Shall I send you the address or do you know how to get there?" he asked "Send it to me just in case." I said, because I wasn't entirely sure if I remembered at least all the way to the frat house. " Oh, by the way, you're going to have to come in a suit or something close enough to that." 

"Why do I have to wear a suit?" I asked, confused "Because it's one of those parties you call posh, you know?" I rolled my eyes, because it was something I didn't like at all "You're already making me regret I agreed." I assured and heard how he laughed " No man, come on, I'm sure you have a suit somewhere." 

"Sure, I have, but it's not what I feel like wearing." I replied " You put it, do me the favor." He asked "I do, but it's the last time, you know." I confirmed "Yeah, yeah, it's the last time, I get it." said "Bye Diego." 

I hung up and kept thinking about the party, because I didn't feel like it too much, but at least it would help me clear my head a bit, which I doubt I'll get. It had been years since my mind had been as clear as it was this year, I think mostly because I could see how Gabriela was, although I almost always hid it. I spent the afternoon looking at photos of Gabriela and me together, I always did, especially since I changed college. I was going to start changing when my mother enters the room. 

"Are you going downstairs for dinner?" asked my mother from the door "When I finished dressing under." I replied "And where are you going so dressed up?" she inquired. "To a party mom." I reluctantly said, "You never go out so dressed up to go to a party. Aren't you going to meet some girl?" she asked and I denied "No mom, it's a posh party" 

"Are you going to crash a party or what?" my mother questioned and I rolled my eyes "No mom, I'm not going to do it, I'm going to a fraternity party that Diego is at." I assured her "At least you're going to meet friends." 

"Yes, it's something you wanted." I replied exasperated by the interrogation my mother decided to have "Yes, but I would also like you to date girls." She said, "But I'm not going to do it. I do not need anyone." 

"You think?" she asked raising an eyebrow and I nodded, because I knew I didn't need anyone, at least not anyone other than Gabriela "Yes, I believe it, because if I didn't believe it, I would have a girl." I assured "Okay, I'll drop the subject, but first do me a favor and call your grandmother who called asking for you." 

"I'll call her now." I replied, "Well, I'm going to finish making dinner. Don't be late." asked "I won't, don't worry."  Mom walked out the door and I picked up my cell phone to call my grandmother. She was the only one in my family who supported me with Gabriela and the only one who knew I still had feelings for her. It was thanks to her I discovered in which college is Gabriela. 

"Hello?." my grandmother said on the other end of the phone "Hello grandma it's me, Alex" I said with a big smile on my face "Hello dear, you have me very uninformed lately with your advances. Has your relationship progressed yet?" grandma asked. She was the only person who knew how I was doing with Gabriela "Now at least she can see me and talk, so I would say we are making progress." 

"Congratulations my guy, you deserve it." she assured "I don't really deserve her, but I want to be with her, it's the only thing I want in this world." I said "Don't start Alex, yes you deserve her. You've changed since you left her and she's realizing that, otherwise she wouldn't talk to you, you can be sure of that." 

"Do you think she still loves me?" I asked for the thousandth time " Tell me how you see her and I'll tell you." She replied "Grandma, I remind you when Gabriela doesn't want someone to know how she feels, she doesn't show it, not even to her best friends." 

"Well then, how do you expect me to help you know if she loves you or not?" Grandma asked and I shrugged "I don't know." At that moment I remembered the moment when I kissed her, when she hit me and when she stopped fighting for me to let go, I could remember how she gave showed her feelings, not as much as she did when we were together, but something. 

"Wait, there's something." I said with the smile appearing on my face " And what is that something?" I asked "Don't get mad grandma, but at a time when we were arguing she was about to hit me and before she did, I kissed her." 

"Did you kiss her without her permission?" she inquired and I nodded even though she couldn't see me "Don't scold me grandma, please, you haven't heard what I wanted to say yet." I protested, "Okay, go ahead." she confirmed "At some point during the kiss, I felt something similar to what I felt when we kissed, when we were still together." 

"Well, there you have your answer." she answered simply, to which I frowned, because I didn't know what the answer was "I don't understand Grandma. I can't see the answer." I answered with a sigh "Yes, you can see it Alex, but your mind doesn't let you see the truth. You are blocking that so in case your relationship doesn't happen, it doesn't hurt you so much, but you know it." 

My mother came to the door to tell me dinner was ready, but she didn't speak very loudly when she saw I was on the phone and leaves without saying anything else. "Grandma, I have to leave you, I still have to change and go to dinner." I said " Are you going out somewhere?" she asked and I nodded "Yeah, I'm going to a party. I have to put on a suit, you know what I hate the most." 

"You have to send me a photo when you are ready." She asked "I'll do it, Grandma, don't worry." I assured her. Whenever I wore a suit, she always wanted a photo " And next time, don't take so long to tell me how your relationship is progressing." She implored to which I laughed "I won't, don't worry." 

"Then bye my boy." She cheerily said "Bye grandma." I called back and hung up. It didn't take me so long to get dressed, I had dinner and I went to Diego's fraternity. I just hoped they wouldn't make me drink a beer or something because then it was something I wanted to give up, Gabriela didn't like alcohol and more than anything because I already had problems because of drinking, I didn't want to go back to the time of the fights and the disaster was my life at that moment.