RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

Chapter 11: The Beginning of the Fall

December was a hard month for us. The cold was setting in, and we had no shelter to hide from it. It was the worst winter we had ever experienced. I think the cold puts everyone on edge. We were different than before. We talked less but were filled with far more rage. I tried to stay calm, but I felt like I was going to die. The scarcity of resources made it even more difficult to survive. We were constantly scavenging for food and firewood, fighting off other desperate survivors. It was a constant battle against the elements and the ever-present threat of the infected.

On top of all the physical pain, we were falling apart. Abby had to stop Aspen from doing something stupid. They missed Nic; his life felt pointless without him. Maverick and Cole got into some arguments, but neither of them would disclose details. All I knew about it was that it was intense and that forgiving each other wouldn't exactly be simple.

Cole was acting weird towards me as well. He used to look at me with playful hatred, but now it was almost serious. He made me feel threatened, like he might do something that would hurt me, but despite it all, I couldn't go away from him. I still followed him like a stray dog.

We were trying to get to a warmer climate. We started south and just decided to keep going in that general direction. We didn't know what was out there. The dead were slowed by the snow, and that helped, but we wouldn't have that luxury if we kept on like this. I didn't want to say that going to a warmer place was a bad idea; I was sick of the cold too, but deep down I knew it was. We only had a few knives; we weren't going to survive with just that. We needed to find a more sustainable solution for survival. As we trudged through the snow, I couldn't help but worry about our dwindling supplies and lack of proper weapons. It was clear that our current plan was not going to be enough to protect us from the dangers that lay ahead.

Chapter 11 (The Beginning of the Fall)