RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

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I didn't know what to do. I didn't cry, I didn't help, and I didn't move. Valentine was shot in the shoulder. He fell down next to me, and he immediately passed out. Aspen and Abby rushed to his side. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I didn't want him to die. I couldn't let him die. I wanted them to kill me too. My mind was paralyzed with fear and shock as chaos erupted around us. The deafening sound of gunshots echoed through the room, mingling with the panicked screams of my fellow classmates. It felt like time had frozen, trapping me in a nightmarish limbo where I couldn't bring myself to take any action.

The soldiers fought off the dead that broke inside the classroom. I watched them because I couldn't do anything else; that's the only reason why I knew you had to go for the head when killing them. The sight of blood and gore splattering everywhere only added to the horror unfolding before my eyes. Many of the soldiers died; only two of them were left when the gunfire stopped. They didn't even stop to apologize or save Valentine's life; they just left, and our teacher locked the door behind them.

"He's losing blood; we have to stop the bleeding," Aspen panicked.

"Does anyone have something to tie it with?" Nic yelled. I was finally able to get out of my shock. They had dragged him away to the corner of the room behind the display cases. The way he looked haunts me. He sat in a pool of his own blood. The bullet was still inside of him. I walked slowly towards him. I wish I could have been able to move faster; all I wanted was to be there for him, but I don't think I was out of my shock yet.

"Arwen, are you okay?" Abby asked as she put her hands on my shoulder; they were soaked in Val's blood. I wanted her to get off of me. "Stay away; you don't have to look." She tried to get me to walk away, but I couldn't do that to Valentine; I couldn't just abandon him.

The rest of that day was a blur. I just remember them finally being able to stop the bleeding. I remember Nic telling me he was alive. I fell asleep with him in my lap, and I wondered how long until he wasn't okay anymore.

Chapter 2 (Move, Goddammit)