RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

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"Arwen, what is this?" Abby slowly handed me something she had found on the ground. I took it from her; it was almost too hard to make out because her fingers left bloodstains from the dead. Aspen peeked over my shoulder, but I think the blood made him back off. I examined the paper closely, trying to ignore the chilling reminder of the horrors we had witnessed. It was a tattered photograph, faded and worn with time. The image depicted a group of smiling faces, a stark contrast to the bleak reality we were living in. On the back, there was a message, almost like an advertisement.

Meet us on the East Coast of Florida

"We can't trust it; you know that." Maverick stated, snatching the paper from out of my hands.

"We don't have many other options. We're as close to dying as we could possibly be; we haven't eaten in days, and our clothes are soaked from yesterday's rain. We need something like this. This place is exactly what we have been looking for."

"It could have been made months ago; we don't know if the place is still standing."

"What else are we doing, Skylar? Crying ourselves to sleep? Forcing ourselves to walk even though we're in miserable pain. This, if it's real, is the best we're going to get." Skylar hesitated for a moment, her eyes scanning the worn-out paper. "I'm not dying for you, though, Arwen. First sign of danger, and I'm done."

"We do, Val. This could be our break."

We knew Atlantis could be something we would regret getting our hopes up for, but we couldn't just miss the chance of finally having a real home. I could see the others; I wasn't blind. I noticed what they were going through and what it was doing to them, especially Valentine. To be honest, it was doing a lot to me as well, but I had to hide it for the others.

Valentine was the worst of all of us. Aspen wasn't even nearly as bad as him when they lost Nic. It was like Valentine wasn't even here. It was someone else, someone lifeless. He was so tired; I knew he hadn't slept, and I hadn't slept much either. I knew, for some reason, that I was mildly responsible for all of us, but I felt this overwhelming desire to be there for Valentine more. I knew he could never forgive himself. I knew he could probably never move on. That kind of shit doesn't go away from you, but it makes him human. At least he can still feel the pain.

I didn't let the others decide. I took initiative, and we were going to go to Atlantis. We were going to find a home. For me, for my friends, and for Valentine. He needed to rest.

Chapter 5 (You Need a Break)