RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

I cried more than I ever had before in the sand, my eyes burned, I was so tired. I held Valentine in my arm, I brushed his hair off of his face. His muscles were relaxed, his skin began to turn purple and his eyes started to sink into his skull. I couldn't look away from him and I couldn't move him off of me. I wasn't ready to say goodbye.


I knew he would turn, I brought the handle of my knife from my pocket, my tears clouded my vision and I winced as I slightly cut my hand on the rusty blade. I brought it to the side of his head, I wanted to make it quick so it would hurt less for me but when I felt the knife begin to pierce through his skin my breath caught in my throat and my arm fell back down to my side. I dropped the knife and I cried harder into his shoulder.


I felt him shake as he came back. He made soft, low grunts until they became louder and he became more restless. His eyes were foggy and I held him by the throat as he tried desperately to reach me. I tried to bring the knife up again but I couldn't do more than just rest the edge against his forehead. I slowly loosened my grip on his neck, I didn't see a reason to try and stop him anymore. I didn't see a reason to be alive without him.


As I fully removed my hand his body flung forward. I backed away from him, he scared me. He got on top of me and even though I wanted to let him kill me, for some reason dying wasn't as easy as I had pictured it. I heard a gunshot that covered my face in blood. Valentine was dead again and I pushed him off of me into the sand. I looked up to see Maverick holding the gun by his side. He didn't say a word, he didn't look at Valentine.


"Why did you do that?" He didn't answer. "Maverick!" He turned around slowly and began to walk away. I yelled at him more, so many hurtful things but I meant every word. I'll never forgive him even though he saved my life.


Chapter 4 (Love & Inescapable Death)