RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

"I didn't know you were going on a run today. Do you need me to watch Andie or are you bringing him with you?"


"I can see that but when will you be back?"


"I mean, I'm taking my son and I'm leaving the beach. I can't do this anymore, I can't keep pretending like this is gonna work out forever just to keep you happy. I'm not risking Andie's life just because you can't get over something that happened five fucking years ago! I've lost people too. I've lost my sister, my best friend, and the only woman I've ever had feelings for but I've learned to live with that loss, I don't understand why even after all this time you can't do that too! I love you, Arwen, and I care about you but I let Skylar down and I can't do that again even if she's dead. I can't afford to watch her son die."


"No, I can't. That's why I'm leaving, but if you can somehow wake the fuck up within the next thirty minutes you can come with, I want you to come with, I don't want to have to leave you here. I know that you know how to take care of yourself and you can survive in this world, you kept our old group alive for what it's worth, you can fight the dead, you're not weak. If it's facing the dead you're afraid of you can have the gun, or I can find you a knife or something if you go out there with me, whatever makes you feel safe. I'll leave the gun here if you're gonna stay but if they do come you won't have enough bullets to fight them off."  


"You're right. It can't be like this forever and you and Andie are all I have left." 


"He's dead, staying here won't change that, it'll probably just end up getting me killed too." 


"Maverick, stop talking before I change my mind."


Chapter 7 (Send Me Away)