RudyGasparrini

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it.

I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. 

This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here.



---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. 

Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

"So where are we going?" I asked as Maverick traded Andie off to me.


"To be honest, I haven't really thought about that. I figured we'd just try to get out of Miami, whenever I've gone on runs I just hear more and more gun shots and there's not much supplies left anyways."


"Well I've heard about this place in Texas, it's supposed to be like a military base and they take in people there but it was just something I heard about from some guy I traded with. I don't know if it's real or not."


"Texas is far, we can't make it that far on foot, at least not with Andie."


"I may or may not have something that could fix that problem," he smirked.


"Tell me or I'll turn around and go back to the beach and you'll have to live with my possible death on your conscience."


"Jesus, calm down. It's a car, I found a car a few months ago."


"Yep, full tank and everything. I have it stored in a garage that only I have the key to," he grabbed a set of miscellaneous keys from his pocket and dangled them proudly above his head. "The only problem is it's kinda far from here, we're gonna have to take the sewer passages to get there, most of the roads are blocked."


"The buildings are filled with thieves and murderers with snipers that'll shoot if they see a plastic bag rolling in the street. The sewers are the safest way, especially with Andie. I've learned what keeps you alive out here, Arwen. While you've been making sand castles I've been surviving, if you're gonna stay you're gonna have to learn not to question me." I felt myself become angry at his words and my hands clenched together, accidentally squeezing Andie's leg a little too hard. He began to cry and without saying a word to me, Maverick turned around and took him from my arms.


Maverick set Andie down in the middle of the street, he bent down to pull the cover off the manhole. He stood back up and reached into his back pocket, pulling out the small pistol with three bullets. The same pistol he used to shoot Valentine. He handed it to me, I hesitated to take it from him and he moved forward to push it into my hands. He picked Andie up and carefully secured him into his backpack with his head peeking out the top as I continued to stare at the gun in my hands.


"Let's go," he ordered as he lowered himself down the ladder, I waited until I couldn't see him anymore to follow. My eyes began to fill with tears, I wanted to throw the gun on the ground. It brought me so much pain to even see it. It was different back on the beach, when I held it to Blake's head, I was so ready to kill him if I had to. But now I've left Valentine, I was trying to forget that. It was just a beach and he was dead, but the gun brought all the memories back and I felt like I betrayed him all over again.


Chapter 10 (Plan)