Living in my own darkness

In life you need to be a joker why? Because if you are a fun guy you can make people happy and when the people are happy they will introduce you to their friends and thats called "circle of friendship" you are the joker you make them laugh to your jokes but can you make your self happy?. No of course you need someone to make you happy you need your family yes! That's make me happy nah of course everyone are happy to be with their families but me, I don't feel like it somehow I want to be alone. I want to be alone because it's quite I can think straight when I'm with may family I feel the pressure the pressure... But there is a guys named James and ohmar that can Comfort me listening to my fucking problems but some nights I think this yes what do you think I'm over reacting? But do you know what lesson I get from that is " you need to choose in your teenage life

Depression or become stupid" you know what I choose of course become stupid because I want to move forward I wish you guys think the same what I think in life...