Chapter 58
Lan's POV
(At Night)
...
Damon laid on my bed as I narrated all that happened today to him from the call to Mark's state. I watched his expression move from shock to guilt as fast as the snap of a finger.
I guess I am not the only one filled with remorse then.
Damon kept quiet drumming his fingers on his forehead his eyes pinned to the ceiling. I sat quietly waiting for him to say something.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" I asked tired of his silence.
"What do you want me to say?" He asked eyes still on the ceiling.
"I don't know.. something! Like what you're feeling for example or how we can help him!" I said sounding frustrated or maybe I'm frustrated. The silence is killing me.
He turned his head to stare at me a look in his eyes.
He had that look in his eyes that says 'I have turned off my emotions for tonight'.
"And what do you think I am feeling Lan?" He asked with an icy cold voice.
"Guilt. So much guilt and remorse not towards me but him. It's biting you" I replied staring into his eyes not wavering.
He stared at me quietly then suddenly burst out laughing.
"You're so funny Lan. Okay let's say I do feel guilty. What do you want me to do about it? I'm not a psychiatrist you know? He needs a mental hospital if he can't get over just one boy" He said rolling his eyes.
My blood boiled inside of me at how he spoke of Mark. Like he couldn't care if anything happens to him. Why does he have to act so cold at times?
I pulled him by his shirt, my grip tight. His pupil expanded as he stared at me. He looked amused pissing me off some more.
"Stop speaking like that! This is Mark we are talking about! He is hurt and you're filled with guilt so don't give me that crap like you don't care" I girtted out.
His lips pulled up. He held my hands pulling it away from his shirt and sitting up.
He rested his head on the headboard and sighed.
He tilted his head towards me looking amused.
"You're bold. Seems like I'm rubbing off on you huh" he chuckled.
"Look Lan. I don't know what you expected from me when you told me that, neither do I know what to do to help him. It'd be best for you if you stop trying to make me be something I am not" He said with all the seriousness he could muster.
I stared at him not buying his words.
"I expect you to be a man and follow your heart. I expect you to show those emotions that hide behind your eyes. I expect you to want to help him like I do because it's all our fault this is happening!" I said staring at him dead in the eyes.
"I am not a hero Lan. Don't try to make me one. Yes I admit I was wrong in what I did to you and him but that's the best I can do. I cannot sit here and act like I want to help or I can help. And lan...." He trailed off shutting his eyes tight.
"What? Say it!" I pushed further. I want to hear what he is holding back.
"Say it!"
He popped his eyes open and within a flash pinned me underneath him.
"If I follow my heart like you said and show the emotions lurking behind my eyes...you would have been mine a long time ago and you would have been moaning under me by now.
If I show the emotions behind my eyes not only guilt will come out but Obsession. The burning desire to have you all to myself and stake my claim that anyone who sees you know that you belong to Damon Salvatore.
I would have kept shoving how much you desire me into his face and watch as it drives him mad." His voice had dropped to an octave as his eyes roamed over my face.
My breathe came out in pants as I watched him. His words were burning its way through my heart. I gulped seeing the seriousness in his eyes.
'He wants me. He wants to posses me'
"I have agreed to be your friend Damon. You said you'd change" I forced out while panting.
"And I am changing but you can't expect me to suddenly care for him. I caused it all yes but would I change any of it if I could? No. And that's the truth. If that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here this close to you...." His eyes roamed over my lips as my heart drummed in my chest.
"...I wouldn't be able to have you under me like this, to be able to touch you like this...." His hand trailed over my face and down my neck.
"Da..Damon stop...." My voice was low as his hand trailed down my neck feeling my skin leaving shivers down my spine.
"We are just friends nothing else." I forced out taking a breathe.
His hand paused. An emotion I couldn't understand pass through his eyes fast as he climbed off me making me breathe in relief.
"Yes we are. Bye Lan" He said walking towards my window.
"W...Wait where are you going?" I asked sitting up.
"Home" he replied and jumped down the window.
I sighed and slumped down on my bed. My heart still pounding in my chest. I held my chest shutting my eyes tight.
Whatever I am feeling is wrong. It'd be an insult to Mark.
...
Today is Sunday and like everyother Sunday my family has its own plans. My mom has decided to go to the parish close to the Town's Library said she wanted to pray and Nate has gone to God knows were.
I sat all alone in the living room watching a show and munching down on some leftover chips I saw in the kitchen. The door bell rang making me jump down from the couch.
Mum must be back.
I walked towards the door and opened it only to see the last person I thought would visit me.
"Mark? What are you doing here?" I asked surprised. He looked bad with the eye bags still under his eyes but he cleaned up nice.
"Can I come in?" He asked.
"Sure" I moved away letting him in and shutting the door in the process.
I lead him to the couch were we both sat.
"Want some?" I handed him the chips. He shook his head making me drop it down.
"So where is everyone?" He asked looking around.
"Went out"
"So you're the only one at home?" He asked
I nodded.
His face lightened up as he held my hands shocking me.
"I have been thinking, we can get back together, everything will be alright we just have to fix a few things so Damon can't get between us again" He said smiling.
Somehow I felt scared. Scared of him at this moment. Why? I don't know but their was something telling me to get away from him.
"Nothing we will be alright Mark. I cheated on you." I said reminding him. I don't think I can ever get back with him and look him in the eyes everyday knowing what I did to him.
"I know and we can fix that." He said hurriedly. He kept brushing his fingers on my foreskin. I felt repulsed by his touch.
For the first time ever I wanted to stay away from him.
"How?" I asked pushing that feeling down.
"By being one. We can sleep together and fix everything and then Damon won't have anything on us. We'd be one and he can't use the fact that he...he slept with you to keep us apart cause we'd have done that already. It'd hurt him I promise and then everything will be fixed. We can get back at him. We just need to do it right and sleep together. It will work" He rushed out looking desperate. At this moment the Mark I knew was gone. He looked crazy.
I pulled my hand away from his hold standing up.
"What are you saying? Can you hear yourself?"
"I...I know how it sounds but it will work trust me" He said walking towards me. I stepped back scared.
He paused and stared at me.
"Don't you want to get back with me? To show Damon that he didn't succeed?" He asked continuing forward.
My throat tightened. My heart drumming inside my chest. I kept moving backwards.
"Mark please...this is not you. This is not a solution. You just need help" I stammered.
He looked angry at this point. Grasping me tight on my arms.
"I am not sick. All I need is you. We will be fine. Trust me" He said pulling me with him.
I pushed him away and stepped back scared.
His nose flared.
"He has gotten under your skin now hasn't he? Did you choose him?? I knew it, I was late,this plan was late. I have been in love with you for years, you can only be mine. If only I planned it sooner we'd be fine" He kept rambling rubbish running his hand through his hair.
I used that as an opportunity to slip into the kitchen but he caught me by my hair pulling me back. I cried out in pain as he pulled my scalp.
He turned me around facing him.
"You were trying to run away from me? How could you? I thought you loved me" He said sounding betrayed.
"Mark don't do this, it's not right. We will make it better, you just need a doctor" I pleaded.
"Don't worry it won't be long" He pushed me down as I hit my head on the table falling down on the floor.
My head hurts.
He climbed on top of me holding me down as I struggled to get him off me.
His lips connected with my neck. I cried out begging him to get off me but his hold was strong. He ran his hand under my chest kissing my face. I felt repulsed.
I pushed him off me with force and ran as fast as my feet could carry me up the stairs. He caught my leg and pulled me down with force as I banged my head on the stairs.
"Don't run lan, you'd just upset me. You never let me touch you because of him now I can fix our relationship and you're not letting me because of him!!!"
"Get off me!!"
I struggled with him. He held my two hands with one of his as his other hand was working rapidly to open my belt.
Oh my God....I am about to get raped!! The realization dawned on me.
I cried out. Someone help me! I cried out in my head.
"Don't worry we will be okay soon" Mark said smiling. At this point I don't know who he is anymore.
I stopped struggling and stilled. Maybe if I let him do what he wants it will be over quick.
He pulled his pants down ready to take off my boxer when the front door burst open.
Hope filled my heart as someone pushed him off me. Series of punches were heard. I felt dizzy. I felt someone lift me up and whispering some words before I blacked out.
"You are safe now.."