Red-Nosed Reindeer

The bloodred Vorpal Strike split the darkness and reduced the

two giant insects' HP to zero.

I caught the bursting of their polygon shells out of the corner

of my eye, and as soon as the post-skill cooldown had worn off, I

spun around to deflect the jaws that had been bearing down on

my back. The giant ant flipped backward with a hideous, earrending screech, and I dispatched it with the same move.

Just three days ago, I'd learned this single heavy attack when

my One-Handed Sword skill reached 950, and I was amazed at its

versatility. The pause after the move was a bit on the long side,

but that shortcoming was made up for by the skill's reach, twice

as long as the blade itself, and power rivaling that of a twohanded lance. Spamming it like this against another player would

allow him to read your timing pretty easily, but there was no issue

with the simple monster AI routines. I used it over and over,

carving an easy crimson path through the oncoming horde of

foes.

But I knew that running through waves and waves of monsters

by simple torchlight for nearly an hour was wearing on my concentration. The mandible bites and acidic saliva projectiles were a

very simple attack pattern, but my reflexes were wearing down.

There were gobs of these giant ants, and they weren't pushovers.

They dwelt just three floors below the current frontier, the fortyninth floor, which made them significantly powerful. The situation was still within my level safety margin, but if I let them surround me and attack undefended for a few seconds, my HP bar

would certainly fall into the yellow zone.

There was only one reason to go solo adventuring in an already-cleared floor: This was a popular grinding spot that offered

an excellent experience-point rate. The giant ants that spilled out

of the many holes in the surrounding cliffs had high attack values

but weak defense and HP. As long as you avoided their lunges, it

was possible to rack up huge kill numbers in a short period of

time. On the other hand, this wasn't a good solo hunting ground,

because as mentioned earlier, getting surrounded and losing your

composure was a sure way to get crushed. Yet, as a popular grinding spot, there was a gentleman's agreement that each party waiting to hunt had to trade off after an hour. I was the only one waiting by myself. At this very moment, familiar guilds were waiting

at the entrance of the canyon for my return, their faces no doubt

stamped with looks of exasperation. Actually, exasperation was

probably a best-case scenario. Most of the players in the big

guilds took cooperation and teamwork for granted and called me

a "power-crazed lunatic" or "the lone beater." Not that I cared

what they thought.

I checked the timer on the left side of my vision and saw that

I'd reached fifty-seven minutes, so I made a mental note to retreat the next time there was a break in the waves of ants. I took a

deep breath and tried to summon the last of my concentration for

this final spurt.

Ants closed in on the right and left. I froze the right ant with a

deftly aimed throwing pick, then dispatched the left one with a

clean three-part attack called Sharp Nail. I spun around and finished off the first ant with a Vorpal Strike right into the center of

its gaping mandibles. While I waited for the cooldown to wear off,

I blocked a flying green glob of acid with my left glove, clicking

my tongue in irritation at the slight loss of HP as the leather

hissed and smoked. Leaping skyward, I split open the attacking

ant's soft belly while still in the air, then landed and finished off

the final two ants with the longest combo I'd currently mastered,

a six-attack maelstrom. With all the ants gone for now, I took off

running before more could spill out of their nest.

It took me less than five seconds to race through the thirtymeter-long ant canyon, and only when I'd spilled out of the narrow entrance did I breathe again. Gasping for fresh air like that

made me wonder if the lack of oxygen was only inside my head or

if my flesh-and-blood body back in the real world was also

starved for air. Before I could guess at an answer, my stomach

convulsed and I heaved several times before falling to the cold

midwinter ground.

Several footsteps approached as I lay there. I knew the people

around here, but I wasn't in the mood for greetings. I wearily

waved them away, but then there came a heavy sigh and a rusty,

rasping voice.

"I've opened up a bit of a head start on you guys, so I'll sit this

one out today. Remember, don't break the circle formation, and

always be ready to cover the guy next to you. If you're in danger

at any time, just call out. If the queen appears, clear out at once."

Six or seven voices responded in the affirmative to those leaderly directions, and the footsteps clomped away through the

grass. Once I'd finally regained my breath for more than a few

moments, I pushed myself up with a hand and slumped against a

nearby tree branch.

"Here."

I gratefully caught the tossed restorative potion and flipped

the cork out with my thumb before downing it greedily. The bitter, lemony taste was the most delicious beverage my lips had

ever tasted. When it was emptied, I lobbed the bottle aside. A few

seconds later, it glowed faintly and disappeared.

I'd known Klein, the leader of the guild Furinkazan, since the

very start of SAO. He still sported that same ugly bandanna and

lazy stubble he liked to call facial hair.

"You don't think you might be pushin' your luck a bit, Kirito?

How long have you been here?"

"Since about…eight o'clock at night," I said wearily. Klein grimaced outlandishly.

"Oh, come on. It's two in the morning now. You've been at this

for six straight hours? If you lose your edge in this hunting

ground, it'll cost you your life, man."

"I'm fine. When others come and line up, I take an hour or two

off."

"And if no one showed up, you'd just keep going."

"That's why I do this in the dead of night. You might have to

wait five or six hours in the middle of the day."

Klein tsked in obvious disgust, then removed the rare katana

from his belt and sat down in front of me.

"Look…ever since the very first day of SAO, I've known about

your strength. How high is your level now?"

A player's level and other statistics were his lifeline, so it was

an unwritten rule within SAO that one never asked or offered

those details, but there was no point being so standoffish with

Klein. I slumped my shoulders and answered honestly.

"I just went up today. Sixty-nine now."

Klein stopped rubbing his chin, his half-hidden eyes suddenly

wide.

"Are you kidding me? When did you get a whole ten levels

higher than me? In that case, this makes even less sense. Your

level-raising activities are off-the-charts bonkers, man. Let me

guess: You spend your afternoons looking for empty hunting

grounds to farm, too, right? I don't understand what drives you to

these lengths, and don't give me that crap about beating the game

faster. You getting tougher on your own means nothing when it's

the big guilds like the KoB that determine the pace of our boss

conquests."

"Gimme a break. I'm a levelaholic. It just feels good gaining

EXP."

I gave him a self-deprecating grin, but Klein brushed it aside,

dead serious.

"You can't fool me with that lame excuse. Even I know how

hard it is when you run yourself ragged farming levels. Working

solo really takes it outta you. Working a hunting ground like this

one without a single partner, even close to Level-70, you might as

well not have a safety margin at all. You're walking a tightrope,

and what I wanna know is what you're getting out of something

so reckless."

Furinkazan was a guild made of friends that Klein had known

from before SAO. They were a group of regular vagabonds who

detested meddling, and as their leader, Klein was no exception.

He was a good guy, but I suspected that he felt some unspoken

pressure to exhibit such concern for a wandering beater like me. I

had a feeling I knew why, and I didn't want to force him to go

through this routine, so I let him off the hook.

"It's all right, you don't have to make a show of worrying for

my sake. You want to know if I'm hunting flag mobs, don't you?"

Flag mobs were in-game monsters that possessed a programming flag—a switch that would trigger or advance a quest or event

of some kind. Most of them appeared intermittently, just once

every few hours or days, but some also existed like boss monsters,

and thus could only be summoned once and never again. As you

might expect, such foes were terribly powerful, and common

sense stated that they must be tackled with a full raiding party.

Klein's face stiffened in guilt, then he turned away, rubbing his

chin.

"I…I didn't mean nothin' like that…"

"Let's be honest. You bought some intel from Argo that I'd

bought intel about a Christmas event boss…and I bought that

intel about you in exchange."

"What?" Klein's eyes widened in surprise and confusion, then

he clicked his tongue loudly. "Damn Argo…I guess they don't call

her 'The Rat' for nothing."

"She'd sell her own status info for the right price. So now we

both know that we're gunning for this Christmas boss. And we've

also bought all the hints the NPCs have provided to this point.

Which means you should know full well why I'm engaging in this

insane grinding, and why I'd ignore all the warnings directed at

me."

"Yeah, sorry…I shouldn't have tried to trick you." He removed

the hand from his chin and scratched the back of his head with

embarrassment. "It's only five days left until the evening of the

twenty-fourth…Every guild wants to squeeze in productive lastminute preparations for the boss fight, but I don't think many of

them are stupid enough to do it in the middle of the night when

it's freezing like this. Anyway, listen…we've got nearly ten members. This is a boss fight we feel like we can win. A flag mob for a

once-a-year event isn't gonna be doable for a solo, and you know

it."

"…"

I looked down at the dried brown grass, unable to deny it.

An entire year had passed within Aincrad. Now that we were

facing our second Christmas within the game, rumors were racing

throughout the populace. About a month earlier, NPCs on various

floors had started divulging information on the same quest.

They claimed that in the Month of Holly—at the stroke of midnight on December 24, to be precise—deep in a forest somewhere

in the game, a monster named Nicholas the Renegade would appear at the foot of a massive fir tree. Whoever defeated it would

receive the equally massive riches contained in the giant sack

slung over its back.

Even the powerful guilds, which never spared their attention

for anything other than conquering the latest labyrinth, salivated

at the prospect. This treasure, whether it was a giant mound of

col or a bundle of rare weapons, would greatly assist their primary goal, it was clear. Sword Art Online had done nothing but

take from its players so far, so who were we to ignore this rare reversal of the trend in the form of a Christmas present?

But as a solo player, I wasn't drawn to the rumors at first.

Klein was right: It probably wasn't the kind of monster I could

hunt down on my own, and through my adventures, I'd earned

enough money to buy my own residence if I wanted. Most of all, I

didn't need the notoriety that would accompany my participation

in this hotly contested flag-mob hunt.

Until about two weeks ago, that is, when I'd stumbled across

some NPC information that changed my perspective 180 degrees.

Ever since then, I'd attended the most popular hunting grounds

and suffered the chuckles of the crowds in a last-ditch attempt to

squeeze in every last level I could.

Klein joined me in silence for a while, but eventually his low

rumble returned.

"It's that other thing, isn't it? The stories of a resurrection

item…"

"…Yeah."

If he knew that much, there was no use hiding it anymore. I

confirmed his suspicions, and the katana-wielder let out yet another long sigh.

"I know how you feel…It's an item out of our wildest dreams.

'Inside his sack there is a holy tool that can bring back the souls

of the departed.' But…I agree with the crowd on this one, man.

That part's bound to be fake. Or to be more accurate, it probably

was true at the time SAO was developed as an honest VRMMO…

but not anymore. I bet it was supposed to be an item that would

let you revive a dead player without suffering an experience

penalty. But that's not possible anymore. The 'penalty' for dying

now is death, period. Remember what that son of a bitch Kayaba

said on the very first day?"

In my ears echoed the words from the hooded GM claiming to

be Akihiko Kayaba on that tutorial day. When my hit points

reached zero, my consciousness would disappear from this world

and never return to my physical body.

I couldn't imagine that he was lying. And yet…

"Not a single person here knows exactly what happens after

you die in this world," I said, as though fighting the possibility.

Klein's nose wrinkled, and he spat cynically.

"What, you think if you die, you'll just return to your body totally alive, and Kayaba will pop out and go, 'Psych'? You gotta be

kidding me. We resolved that debate a year ago. If this were all a

stupid joke like that, the people who died already would have

spread the word, and people would have ripped all our NerveGears off. The fact that hasn't happened is proof the stakes of death

are real. The moment our HP hits zero, the NerveGear turns into

a microwave and boils our brains from the inside out. Because if

that's not true, then what does that mean for those of us who got

wiped out by these damn monsters? The ones who cried out in

fear, saying they didn't wanna—"

"Shut up."

I cut him off, surprised at the hoarseness in my own voice.

"If you really think I don't know all of that, we have nothing

more to talk about. Yeah, I know Kayaba said that. But you remember what Heathcliff from the KoB said when we worked together on the most recent floor boss: If there's even a one-percent

chance you can save the lives of your partners, you chase that

possibility with all you've got, and anyone who can't summon that

dedication isn't worth being in your party. I don't really like the

guy, but he's right. I'm just talking potential scenarios here. What

if dying here means your mind never comes back, but it also

doesn't just go away? What if you get placed in some kind of

holding area, waiting and waiting to find out what becomes of the

fate of the game? That theory leaves open the possibility of this

resurrection item."

It was a rare speech for me. Once I'd laid bare the slim possibility I clung to, Klein's anger abated and he looked at me with

something resembling pity. When he finally spoke again, it was

calm and quiet.

"I see…You still can't get over your old guild, can you, Kirito?

Even though it's been more than half a year…"

I turned away and mumbled an excuse.

"It's only been half a year. Of course I can't forget them. The

entire guild was wiped out…except for me."

"What was it called, the Moonlit Black Cats? They weren't a

front-line guild, yet they ventured damn close to the frontier.

Then the thief, of all people, trips an alarm trap. It wasn't your

fault, man. If anyone says anything, it'll be to praise you for what

you did, not bash you."

"That's not the point. They were my responsibility. I could

have kept them from going up to that floor, could have told them

to ignore that chest, could have sprung everyone out of there after

the trap went off…"

If only I hadn't kept my level and skills hidden from them.

That was the cruel truth of the matter that I kept a secret from

Klein. I kept talking before he could offer some clumsy consolation.

"So maybe there isn't even a one-percent chance of this working. Maybe the chance that I can find this Christmas boss, the

chance that I can beat it all on my own, the chance that this item

actually exists, and the chance that the game really does hold on

to its victims, all added together…are so miniscule that I might as

well be searching for a single grain of sand in the middle of a

desert. But…it's still not zero. As long as it's greater than zero, I

have a duty to seek out that possibility to the best of my ability.

Besides, Klein…I know you're not hurting for money, either.

Doesn't that mean your reasons for hunting the boss are the same

as mine?"

Klein snorted and reached down to pick up the katana's scabbard off the ground. "I'm not a dreaming idealist like you, Kirito.

But yeah…I've lost a friend to this game, too. If I don't do what I

can for him, I won't sleep well at night…"

He stood up. I grinned wryly.

"It is the same."

"Nope. That's just a fringe benefit of all the loot we stand to

gain from this…Well, anyway, I'm worried about how the others

will manage if one of those bigger ants shows up. I'd better go

back there."

"Sure."

I hung heavily off the tree branch with my eyes closed. His last

words trailed off as he walked away.

"Also, my concern for you wasn't just part of a mind trick to

get that info outta you. If you push yourself too hard and die

doing this, I ain't usin' that revival item on ya."

2

"Thank you for your concern. If you don't mind, I'd like to take

you up on your offer to guide us to the exit."

Those had been the first words I heard from Keita, leader of

the Moonlit Black Cats.

It had been a spring evening, about five months since the start

of the game of Russian Roulette that was Sword Art Online, and I

was romping around a labyrinth about ten floors below the current front line, collecting ingredients for a new weapon.

As a beater—a former beta-tester whose knowledge of the

game allowed me to burst out of the gate, earn experience efficiently, and handle the toughest monsters on my own—the task

was yawningly boring. I'd carefully avoided any other adventurers

and reached my quota of items in just two hours. As I prepared to

leave, I came across a party running the other direction as they

were chased by a swarm of larger monsters.

Even a solo player like me could tell this was a poorly balanced

party. Out of the five, only one man bearing a shield and mace

was equipped to man the front line. The others were a thief with

daggers, one person with a quarterstaff, and two spearmen. The

one with the mace was losing HP, but without any partners to alternate with and block blows, it was all he could do to continue

backing away from the enemy.

I looked at each of them in turn to check their HP. They had

enough to make it to the exit, but if they pulled in another group

of monsters along the way, there was no guarantee of their safety.

After a moment of hesitation, I leaped out of the hidden pathway

and called out to the man with the staff, who I gauged to be their

leader.

"Want some help up there?"

He goggled wide-eyed at me for a moment but quickly acquiesced.

"Yes, please. If you feel in danger at any time, go ahead and

run for it."

I pulled the sword from my back and called out to the macewielder to switch, then forced my way to the front of the horde of

monsters.

It was a pack of armed goblins, the same enemies I'd just been

farming repeatedly for the past few hours. If I unleashed my

sword skills, I could wipe them out in an instant, and even if I just

stood there unresisting, my Battle Healing ability would ensure

that I could take a hail of blows without danger for quite some

time.

But for an instant, I felt fear—not of the goblins but of the

watchful eyes of the people behind me.

Ordinarily speaking, it was poor form for a high-level player to

strut around a lower hunting ground as though he owned the

place. Do it for long enough, and someone would hire the bigtime guilds to get rid of you, and after they'd hung you out to dry,

you were placed on the "bad player" lists in the game's newspapers. As this was an emergency, it seemed like my transgression

could be overlooked, but I was still afraid of that moment when

the gratitude in their eyes turned to disgust at a beater like me.

I limited my sword skills to the most basic I had, taking my

time against the goblins. But I had no idea what a horrendous

mistake this would lead to much, much later.

After a few potions for the mace-wielder and several switches,

we'd defeated the band of goblins at last. I was surprised at the

ferocity of the cheer that arose from the five strangers. They exchanged high fives and shared in the joy of victory.

On the inside I was uncomfortable, but I tried on an awkward

smile and shook the hands they offered me. The last to approach

was one of the spear-users, the sole woman of the group, her eyes

filled with tears as she gripped my hand with both of hers. She

shook my hand so hard her black hair shivered.

"Thank you…Thank you so much. I was so, so scared…It was

amazing the way you saved us. Thank you."

When I heard those words and saw the wavering tears, I felt

an emotion that I still can't put a name to today. All I can remember is that I was glad I'd saved them and glad I'd been strong

enough to do so.

I'd been a solo player since the start of the game, but this

wasn't the first time I'd ever stepped in to help a party. Among

advanced players, however, it was an unspoken rule to help one

another when in need. They lived in dangerous circumstances

where one might easily find oneself in need of assistance, so it

wasn't necessary to seek out thanks, and when offered, it was accepted with a curt nod and nothing more. After a brief post-fight

readjustment, you silently headed off to the next battle. It was a

purely logical system, suited to the sole purpose of being in that

environment: strengthening oneself.

But these people, the Moonlit Black Cats, were different. They

heartily celebrated this single victory and praised one another's

bravery. The scene might as well have been accompanied by a victory fanfare from a single-player RPG. Perhaps I was swayed by

their camaraderie when I offered to guide them to the exit of the

labyrinth. Perhaps I was struck by the sudden thought that

maybe these people understood the concept of "conquering" this

insane game better than anyone else playing it.

"I was running low on my stock of potions, too. Would you like

me to accompany you to the exit?"

Keita's face split into a wide grin at my bald-faced lie. "Thanks

for your concern."

No. Now that it's been half a year since the Moonlit Black Cats

were wiped out, I can be honest. I felt good. I'd built up my status

for selfish reasons playing solo, and I had finally used that

strength to help those who were weaker than me. I'd felt the pleasure of being needed—that was all.

After we left the labyrinth and returned to town, Keita offered

to buy me a drink at a pub, which I accepted at once. Once we'd

had a toast of wine—which had to be expensive for them—and

finished our introductions, Keita pulled me aside and hesitantly

inquired about my level in a low voice.

I'd been expecting this question. In preparation for it, I'd decided on a suitable number to tell him that wouldn't give away my

actual strength. I told him the number I suspected was about

three levels higher than their average as a guild—and twenty

lower than my actual total.

"Wow, you can actually solo that dungeon at your level?" he

marveled. I looked sheepish.

"Well, all I'm really doing is sneaking around and looking for

solitary monsters I can handle on my own. It's actually not very

efficient."

"Oh…I see. Well, Kirito…this is kind of awkward to ask, but I

just have a feeling that some other guild will come knocking at

your door soon enough. Would you want to join our group?"

"What?" I pretended not to understand. Keita continued his

pitch, the blood rushing to his round head.

"Well, level-wise, we're actually able to handle that dungeon.

The problem is our skill variety. As you saw earlier, Tetsuo's the

only one who can handle the front line. He doesn't have time to

recover all by himself, and we tend to wind up on our heels a lot.

You'd be a huge help in that regard, and also…Hey, Sachi,

c'mere!"

The woman Keita beckoned over was the small black-haired

spear-wielder. The woman named Sachi came, wineglass in hand,

and nodded to me shyly. Keita placed a hand atop her head as he

explained.

"As you can tell, her weapon is a two-handed longspear, but

her skill numbers are lower than our other spearman. So I want

to switch her to a sword and shield now, while we have the

chance. But it's hard to find the time to train something like that,

and she's having trouble getting the hang of the sword. Do you

think you might be able to coach her a bit?"

"Oh, don't treat me like such a child!" Sachi retorted, then

stuck out her tongue and laughed. "I always liked standing in the

back and poking the bad guys with a long pole. It's scary switching to the front and getting up close and personal!"

"How many times do I have to tell you, that's why you get to

hide behind the shield! Seriously, you've always been such a

scaredy-cat."

Until now, I'd lived a Spartan life on the frontier of SAO and

was used to MMORPGs being nothing but a competition over

limited resources. This friendly bickering was a pleasant and radiant scene to behold. When Keita noticed the way I was watching them, he chuckled and explained with a touch of embarrassment.

"See, all of us used to be in the same computer club in high

school. She and I lived pretty close to each other, in fact…Oh, but

don't worry. They're all really nice, and I'm sure you'll fit in right

away, Kirito."

I'd already seen proof of their friendly nature on the trip out of

the labyrinth. The fact that I was lying to them sent a prickle of

guilt down my spine, but I smiled and nodded anyway.

"In that case…I guess I'm in. It's nice to be here."

The Moonlit Black Cats' party balance was vastly improved just

from adding a second fighter to the front rank.

If any of them had bothered to glance at my HP bar with just a

smidgen of suspicion, they would have noticed that it mysteriously never seemed to diminish. But when I told my trusting

guildmates that my coat was made of a special material—this, at

least, was not a lie—they took it at face value.

When we fought as a party, I focused solely on defense, allowing

the rear members to do the killing blows that gave them experience bonuses. Keita's group was leveling quickly now, and just a

week after I joined, we were hunting on the next floor up.

We were sitting in a circle in the dungeon's safe haven, chowing down on Sachi's homemade sandwiches, as Keita eagerly told

me about his personal dreams.

"Of course, the safety of the group comes first…but if safety is

all you want, we could be sitting on our hands back in the Town

of Beginnings, right? I'm hoping that if we keep leveling up like

this, eventually we'll be good enough to join the clearers in advancing the game. Right now, top guilds like the Knights of the

Blood and the Divine Dragon Alliance are doing all the heavy lifting up above. What do you suppose separates them from us, Kirito?"

"Umm…information, maybe? They seem to have a stranglehold on where the most efficient hunting grounds are and how to

get the best weapons."

This was a fact I'd learned from being one of those heavy

lifters myself, but Keita wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"Well…I'm sure that's part of it. But I think it's willpower. Like

they have the strength of will not just to protect one another but

all the players in the game. It's that source of strength that helps

them keep beating bosses, one after the other. We're still on the

side that's being protected, but I think our will to help is just as

strong as theirs. That's why I think that if we keep trying our

hardest, we'll catch up to them someday."

"I see…Let's hope so."

I reassured him, but inwardly, I knew it wasn't anything so

noble. The motivation that drove the clearers to be what they

were was simple: the obsession with being the very strongest

swordsman who stood atop all the thousands in the game. Consider this: If the clearers of SAO truly wanted to protect the entire

gaming populace, they would take their hard-earned information

and items and share them as evenly as possible with all the midlevel players. Doing so would both raise the floor of all players

and vastly increase the number of fighters available to tackle the

latest bosses.

The reason they didn't share any of that was because they

wanted to stay on top. I was no exception. At the time, I was slipping out of the inn late at night and teleporting to the latest floor

to keep leveling up. Doing so only increased the level gap between

the rest of the Moonlit Black Cats and me. I was betraying their

trust, I knew it, and I kept doing it.

But at the time, I actually believed him a bit. I thought that

just maybe, if I helped power-level the guild up to reach the top

echelon of players, Keita and his ideals might just break through

the closed circle of the clearers and change them for the better.

The Moonlit Black Cats' advancement was truly startling. The

places they were adventuring I'd conquered long before, so I

knew the danger spots to avoid and the lucrative spots to hit.

With my careful guidance through the ideal paths, the average

level of the guild shot upward, well ahead of the pack. They'd

been ten floors below the current front line when I met them, and

in short order they'd closed that gap to five. The guild's coffers

were positively bulging, and the purchase of our own guild home

was becoming a realistic goal.

The one thing that wasn't going perfectly for the guild was the

plan to turn Sachi into a shield-bearing swordswoman.

I couldn't blame her for having trouble. More than statistical

prowess, in order to tackle the challenge of close-range combat,

you needed the steadfast courage to overcome the fear of SAO's

terrifying beasts. Many players had lost their lives just after the

start of the game because they panicked in close combat. Sachi

was the gentle and timid type, which made her particularly unsuited for that kind of battle.

I wasn't in any particular rush to advance her training as a

shield-user, knowing full well that I was powerful enough to be all

the defense the group needed, but our guildmates did not agree.

In fact, they seemed to be upset that despite being the new member, I was "forced" to take on much of the stressful front-line

duty. Because the group was so close-knit, they didn't speak their

minds openly, but the pressure on Sachi was intensifying.

And then, one night, Sachi disappeared from the inn.

The inability to check her location in the guild registry was

likely a sign that she was inside a labyrinth all by herself. Keita

and the others flew into a panic and decided to go searching for

her.

I was the only one who insisted on searching outside of the

labyrinth. I told them there were a few places out in the wilderness that had similar cloaking qualities, but that was only a bluff.

In fact, I was certain I could find her because I had the Track

skill, a high-level offshoot of the Search skill, but I couldn't let the

others know that.

After they raced off toward the floor's labyrinth, I stood in

front of Sachi's room and activated my Track skill, then followed

the trail of light green footsteps that appeared.

To my surprise, the little footprints disappeared into a waterway on the outskirts of town. I peered inside, and amidst the

echoing drips in the darkness, I saw Sachi, huddled in the corner

beneath a concealing cloak she'd recently acquired.

"Sachi…"

Her shoulder-length hair draped over her face as she looked

up, startled.

"Kirito…how did you know I'd be here?"

I paused, trying to think of an answer.

"Call it a hunch."

"Oh…"

She smiled weakly, then placed her head back on top of her

knees. I resumed my rapid contemplation, searching for the least

suspicious words I could offer.

"Everyone's worried about you. They went looking in the

labyrinth. Let's go back."

She didn't respond for quite a while. A minute passed, maybe

two. Just as I was about to repeat myself, I heard her mutter, face

still down.

"Will you run away with me, Kirito?"

"Run away? What from?" I asked automatically.

"From this town. From the Black Cats. From the monsters…

From Sword Art Online."

I didn't know enough about girls—about people in general—to

have an immediate answer for this. After another long period of

thinking, I hesitantly asked a question.

"What, like…a suicide pact?"

After a moment of silence, Sachi let out a humorless chuckle.

"Ha-ha…Yeah, maybe…Sorry, no. If I had the guts to die, I

wouldn't be hiding in town like this. Sit down; don't just stand

there."

Still unsure of what to do, I sat down on the cobblestones,

slightly apart from Sachi. The lights of the town filtered faintly

through the crescent-shaped waterway exit, like starlight.

"I'm scared to die. I'm so scared, I can barely sleep anymore,"

she murmured. "Why did this happen to us? Why can't we leave

the game? If it's just a game, why do we have to die when we lose?

What does that Kayaba person stand to gain from this? What's

the meaning of it all…?"

I could have given a separate answer to each of these five questions. But even I knew that those weren't the answers Sachi was

asking for. I considered her words and found my voice.

"I don't think there is a meaning…and no one's getting anything. All the important things were finished from the moment

this world was built."

I'd told a horrible lie to the girl who sat next to me crying so

hard the tears had stopped. I was getting something out of this—I

was deriving pleasure from slipping into the Black Cats and hiding the truth of my own strength, of feeling superior to them.

I should have told her everything at that point. If I had even an

ounce of sincerity in my body, I would have laid bare my own

hideous ego right there and then. At the very least, that might

have taken some of the pressure off Sachi—maybe even given her

a little peace of mind.

Instead, I sold her pure fiction.

"…You're not going to die."

"How can you be sure?"

"The Black Cats are plenty strong as they are now. We're well

within the margin of safety. As long as you're in this guild, you'll

be safe. And there's no reason to force yourself to become a

swordswoman."

Sachi looked up at me, her eyes pleading. I turned away, unable to face her stare.

"Really…? You're sure I won't die? I'll get back to my real life?"

"Yeah…you won't die. Not before we beat this game and get

out of here."

They were the cheapest words I could have possibly said, without a shred of conviction or believability. But Sachi inched over to

my side anyway, put her head on my shoulder, and cried.

A few minutes later, I sent a message to Keita's group and escorted Sachi back to the inn. I sent her up to her room, then

waited in the pub on the first floor for the group's return. When

they got back, I explained the situation to them: that it would take

time to teach Sachi the shield, that she should remain a spearfighter for now, that I wasn't bothered at all by staying on the forward line.

They seemed to be a bit suspicious of whatever had happened

between the two of us, but they graciously accepted my proposal.

I was relieved at that, but it hadn't actually addressed the fundamental problem, of course.

Starting the next night, Sachi came to lie in my bed and was finally able to sleep again. She claimed that lying next to me while I

told her she wouldn't die was the only way she could relax enough

to sleep. This meant that I could no longer slip out late at night to

farm more experience, but it didn't ease the feeling of guilt over

deceiving Sachi and her friends.

My memories of that time are as tightly packed as a snowball,

and it's difficult to recall the details. If there's anything I can say,

it's that there was no romance between the two of us. We slept in

the same bed, but there was no touching, no whispering words of

love, no long stares into each other's eyes.

We were like two alley cats finding solace in licking each

other's wounds. Hearing my words, Sachi was able to forget her

fear, and by providing for her, I was able to assuage my guilt at

being a dirty beater.

That's right—by observing Sachi's anguish, I think I was finally

able to see the true nature of SAO. Until that point, I'd never truly

felt the dread of knowing that this game could kill me. I'd blazed

through the lower floors, mechanically slaying the monsters I'd

known inside out since the beta test, then used that level buffer to

maintain my place among the top clearers in the game. I was no

Heathcliff, but thinking back on it, my HP bar had basically never

fallen into the danger zone…

I'd been lounging atop a mountain of resources I'd won without any trouble, while countless players around me trembled in

terror at the very real possibility of death. By facing and recognizing this injustice, I felt like I had finally found a way to assuage

my own guilt: protecting Sachi and the rest of the Moonlit Black

Cats.

I forced myself to forget that I'd joined their guild and concealed my level for the purpose of feeling better about myself, and

I told myself that my lies were protecting them and raising them

into a first-class guild. I was trying to change my own memory to

support my ego. Every night, Sachi curled into a ball next to me,

and I repeated, You won't die; you won't die; you will survive

like a magic charm. When I did so, Sachi would look up at me underneath the blanket, smile just a little bit, and fall into a light

sleep.

But Sachi died in the end.

Not even a month from that night in the underground sewer,

she was cut down by monsters right before my eyes, her body and

soul scattering into nothingness.

That day, Keita was off visiting a real-estate dealer to inquire

about a one-story house to use as our guild base—we'd finally

scraped together the amount we'd set as our goal. Sachi and I and

the three other members sat around the inn waiting for Keita's return, laughing at the miserable amount of col remaining in our

shared guild inventory. Eventually, Tetsuo the macer spoke up

with an idea.

"Hey, let's go make some money in the labyrinth and buy a set

of furniture for the new house. Keita'll freak out when he sees it."

We decided to go to the labyrinth just three floors below the

current frontier, a dungeon we'd never visited as a group before.

I'd been there before, of course, and I knew that it was a lucrative

destination full of dangerous traps. But I didn't tell them that.

Level-wise, we were relatively safe within the dungeon, and

our hunting was fruitful. We raised our expected quota within an

hour and were turning around to leave and shop for our furniture

when the guild's thief found a treasure chest.

I told him that we should ignore the chest. But when he asked

why, I couldn't tell him that I knew the traps were noticeably

more dangerous on this floor. I only gave him a vague excuse,

saying I got a bad feeling from it.

When he opened the chest anyway, an alarm trap clanged

noisily, and monsters stormed through the three doorways into

the room. I immediately sensed that we were in trouble and commanded everyone to use crystals to teleport out. But when it became apparent that we were also standing in an anti-crystal zone

and there was no escape, the entire group fell into a panic—myself included.

The first to die was the thief who'd set off the trap. Next was

Tetsuo the macer, then the spearman.

I was terrified, and I unleashed a storm of the high-level skills

I'd been hiding this entire time, desperately trying to stem the

tide of monsters. But there were too many. I didn't even have

enough time to turn around and destroy the ringing alarm that

was summoning them.

Just as Sachi was about to be swallowed by the wave of monsters, she stretched out a hand and opened her mouth, as if to say

something to me. All I saw in her eyes was a heartrending, pleading trust, the same light she shone on me every night.

I don't remember how I survived. The next thing I knew, the

storm of monsters and my four guildmates were gone. And even

after all of that, my HP bar was barely less than halfway full.

I returned to the inn alone, my mind a blank slate.

Keita was sitting there waiting, the key to our new guild house

on the table. He listened to my story—why the others died, why I

survived—and when I was done, he looked at me with eyes devoid

of all emotion and said just one thing. You're a beater. You didn't

have the right to get involved with us.

He stood up and marched his way to the outer perimeter of

Aincrad, and before my very eyes, he vaulted over the fence with

no hesitation and flung himself into the infinite void.

Keita had spoken the absolute truth. There was no doubt that

my pride, my arrogance, had killed the four—no, five—members

of the Moonlit Black Cats. If I hadn't gotten involved with them,

they'd have stayed down in the safe middle zone. They'd never

have rashly attempted to disarm a trap far beyond their means.

The key to survival in Sword Art Online isn't reflexes, or stats,

or weapons—it's adequate knowledge. I'd given them a quick step

up, an advanced course in power-leveling, but I didn't give them

information. That was a tragedy waiting to happen. I swore to

Sachi that I'd protect her life, and I ended up killing her.

I needed to accept whatever word she was going to say in that

final moment, even if it was the worst curse she could possibly

hurl at me. That was the reason I clung to the slim possibility of

that item of resurrection. I had to hear that word.

3

In the four days leading up to Christmas, I managed to squeeze in

one more level, putting me at 70.

I literally didn't sleep a wink during that period. At times I was

plagued by headaches that felt as though nails were being driven

into my brain. It was probably what I deserved, but I don't think I

could have slept if I'd tried, anyway.

Klein and the rest of Furinkazan didn't show up at the ant

canyon spot again. I kept lining up between the parties from the

major guilds, mechanically slaying ants over and over. With time,

the looks I got turned from mocking to hateful. I think some of

them might have called out to me, but whenever I met those

gazes, I turned away and left.

The biggest debate among the many hopeful adventurers looking to seize Nicholas the Renegade's Christmas presents was

where exactly to find the giant fir tree he was said to appear beneath. As a matter of fact, between my grinding sessions with the

ants, I had arrived at an answer I was certain was correct.

I'd bought the locations of several major trees from informants

and gone to inspect them all in turn. What I found was that they

all had the look of a classic Christmas tree, but they were all

cedars—not firs. Unlike the spiky-pointed leaves of a cedar tree,

fir tree needles are rounded at the end like little ellipses. I knew

the difference because we had trees of both types in my backyard

growing up.

Several months earlier, I'd been exploring a random-teleporting dungeon called the Forest of Wandering on the thirty-fifth

floor, where I found one giant, gnarled tree. It was so strange and

distinct that it had to have a purpose, and I'd investigated the

possibility that it might be involved in a quest of some kind, but

to no avail. Thinking back on it now, I know the tree had been a

fir. I was absolutely certain that on this very night, the flag mob

named Nicholas the Renegade was going to appear at the foot of

that tree.

I continued wiping up the ants around me while the fanfare celebrating my level-up to 70 played. When both were finished, I

pulled a teleport crystal out of my pouch, then immediately

jumped to the town on the forty-ninth floor without bothering to

inform any of the waiting players.

Once in the teleport square, I checked the clock tower to see

that barely three hours remained until midnight. The rest of the

plaza was filled with people walking in pairs, hand-in-hand or

around the shoulder, strolling leisurely. I weaved my way past

them and hurried to the inn.

Inside the building, I raced to the room I'd been using for

weeks. First I opened the storage chest and pulled all of the healing and antidote crystals and potions from the item window that

appeared and transferred them to my inventory. They represented a fortune in monetary terms, but I was prepared to use

every last one of them if necessary.

I also removed the rare sword I'd been saving for a special occasion, made sure it was in good condition, then switched it out

with the sword on my back, which was damn ragged after all the

ant-hunting. My leather coat and other pieces of armor were

quickly replaced as well.

I was about to close the window when all my preparations

were complete, but my hand stopped when I looked at the top of

the item list.

There was a tab labeled SELF that contained all of my personal

items and another tab titled SACHI next to it.

This was a shared inventory, a setting that players could enable when they were close but not going to get married. Unlike

marriage, in which all items and money were shared, only the

things either of us placed in this space were accessible to both of

us.

Sachi had never wanted words of love or even a hand to hold,

but she had suggested creating this space shortly before she died.

When I'd asked her why, she said it would make sharing potions

easier—a weak excuse, given that we had a shared guild tab for

that very purpose already. But I agreed and set up a tab for us.

Even after Sachi died, the window remained. Her name was

still on my friends list, of course, but now it was grayed out and

inaccessible. The potions and crystals left in our shared inventory

could no longer be used.

After half a year, I still couldn't bring myself to remove that

tab, even though I'd mechanically eliminated the guild tab without a second thought. It wasn't even because I thought there was

any way to bring her back. I just couldn't allow myself to erase

that reminder of my guilt.

I stared at Sachi's name, lost in thought for nearly ten minutes

before I came back to my senses and closed the window. Two

hours until midnight.

On the way from my room to the teleport square, I thought

back to the look on Sachi's face in that final moment, over and

over, wondering what it was she was about to say.

When I walked through the teleporter and onto the thirty-fifth

floor, the town was far quieter than on the front line. It wasn't

quite at the epicenter of the mid-level players' hunting range, and

the town itself was a rather unremarkable rural village. Still, there

were players here and there, so I flipped up the collar of my coat

to avoid their gazes as I sped out of town.

I had neither the time nor the peace of mind to bother with

monsters on the way. I turned around to make sure no one was

trailing me, then took off at full speed. The past months' insane

leveling had given a big boost to my agility, so my legs felt light as

feathers as I tore across the fields of snow. The usual dull pain

throbbed in my temples, but at least that kept sleep from overwhelming my brain.

After a ten-minute sprint, I reached the entrance to the Forest

of Wandering. This dungeon was split into countless square

areas, the connecting exits of which jumped about at random,

making it virtually impossible to manage without a special map.

I opened mine and took a hard look at the sector I'd marked

beforehand, tracing the route back to the entrance. I burned the

directions into my brain, then headed into the black night of the

forest.

I reached the fir tree's area with a minimum of trouble, only

needing to stop for two fights I couldn't run past. I had thirty

minutes left.

I could easily lose my life doing this; I was going to fight oneon-one against a boss monster that could almost certainly kill me,

but I didn't feel even the slightest hint of fear. In fact, I almost felt

as though I would welcome that outcome. If there was one way I

was allowed to die, it would be in a quest to bring Sachi back to

life…

I didn't think of it in heroic terms—that I was "searching for

my place to die." I wasn't allowed to seek a meaning in my own

death. Not when I'd let Sachi and our four friends die without

purpose.

What does it mean? Sachi had asked me. There is no meaning,

I'd responded.

Now I had the chance to make those words reality. Sachi had

died a meaningless death within a meaningless death game, created by a meaningless mad genius named Akihiko Kayaba. Now,

just like her, I was going to die alone, forgotten by all, bereft of

any meaning.

If I somehow survived and defeated this boss, the rumors of

the resurrection item would certainly turn out to be true. I had no

proof, but I was certain. Sachi's soul would come back from the

Land of the Dead or the River Lethe or wherever she was, and I

would be able to hear her final words at last. Finally, finally, the

time had come…

Just as I began to close the last several meters to the tree, I

sensed several players emerging from the warp point behind me.

I held my breath and put a hand on my sword, leaping away from

them.

They numbered around ten. Standing at the lead was a man

like a samurai, outfitted with light armor, a lengthy blade, and a

bandanna tied around his head—Klein.

The members of Furinkazan looked around nervously as they

approached. I stared straight at Klein and growled.

"You followed me?"

He nodded, scratching the hair that was splayed upward by his

bandanna. "That's right. We've got an expert in Tracking."

"Why me?"

"Because I caught a tip that you'd been buying intel on tree coordinates. I had one of us planted in the forty-ninth-floor square

watching for you, and he saw you take off for a floor without any

of those publicly known coordinates. Listen, I think your talent

for battle and your game instincts are off the charts. In my opinion, you're the best player among the clearers…even better than

Heathcliff. Which is exactly why I refuse to see you throw away

your life like this, Kirito!"

He reached out and jabbed a finger right at my face.

"Forget about tackling this monster on your own! You're joining our party for this. Whoever gets the resurrection item to drop

keeps it, and no hard feelings!"

"But then…" I couldn't even believe that Klein's words

stemmed from friendship and honest concern at this point. "Then

there's no point…I have to do it alone…"

I still clutched the hilt of my sword. My mind was racing,

feverish.

I have to kill them all.

When this game of death began, I'd abandoned Klein as an

utter newb and headed for the next town on my own, an act I

deeply regretted for a very long time. When Klein survived the

game's trials and had grown into a powerful warrior in his own

right, I was profoundly relieved.

In this moment, I was honestly considering killing one of the

precious few people I could call a friend—sinking to the depths of

a criminal to achieve my goal. A tiny voice in my brain cried,

Don't do it, it's pointless!, but a much louder one drowned it out,

bellowing, A meaningless death is exactly what you want.

If I drew my sword out even an inch, I knew I wouldn't be able

to stop myself. I was sure of it. My right hand trembled as the two

conflicting urges fought for control over me. Klein just looked on,

pity in his eyes.

That was the exact moment that a third party entered the

opening.

And this party was not a mere ten strong. Just at a glance, they

had to be at least three times that size. I stared at the throng in

astonishment, then muttered to the equally stunned Klein next to

me.

"Guess you guys got followed, too, Klein."

"…Guess we did…"

The newcomers stood at the edge of the clearing about five

meters away, staring at Furinkazan and me. I recognized several

of their faces from the ant canyon. The Furinkazan swordsman

standing closest to Klein leaned over and murmured softly.

"That's the Divine Dragon Alliance. They're not afraid to go orange for the sake of a flag boss."

I knew that name. They were the largest of the clearer guilds,

just as famous as the Knights of the Blood. Their average level

was likely lower than mine, but even I didn't think I could win

against so many.

But wasn't that really the same thing, when you got down to

it?

Whether killed by the boss or killed by a guild, I was dying an

ignoble death either way, I realized. And it had to be a better way

than fighting Klein, right?

This time, I was going to draw my sword. I was tired of thinking. Better to turn myself into a machine. I swing my sword with

all of my being, kill everything in sight, and eventually I'll wear

down and break.

But Klein's bellow stayed my hand.

"Shit! Goddammit!" He'd drawn his weapon even before I did,

and he called out to me with his back turned. "Go, Kirito! We'll

hold 'em off! Go and kill that boss! Just make sure you don't die

in the process! You're not permitted to die before I do! Is that understood?!"

"…"

There was hardly any time left. I turned my back on Klein as

well, then headed off toward the final warp point without a word

of thanks.

The fir tree was just where I remembered it, and just as gnarled

and twisted, too. It stood in the center of the almost empty clearing, sparkling bone-white from piles of snow. It was like a

meadow barren of all life.

When the clock readout in the corner of my vision hit midnight, the air was filled with the sound of jingling bells. I looked

up to the top of the tree.

Amid the black of the night sky—technically, just the bottom of

the floor above—two lines of light appeared. When I focused

harder, I saw that it was a giant sled being drawn by hideous

monsters.

When it reached the top of the fir tree, a black shadow leaped

from the sled, and I stumbled backward several steps.

The monster that landed in the snow with an impressive

splash had to be at least three times my height. It was humanoid,

but its arms were freakishly long, and it hunched over in a way

that made it appear to drag along the ground. In the darkness beneath its jutting brow, two small red eyes glowed, and scraggly

gray whiskers drooped down from the bottom of its head to dangle at its legs.

What was truly grotesque about it, however, were the red-andwhite jacket and pointed cap it wore, and the ax and sack it carried. The designer of this creature likely figured that players

would see this twisted caricature of the familiar Santa Claus and

either quake in fear and revulsion, or laugh out loud. But facing

Nicholas the Renegade alone, the creative intention behind the

beast was the last thing on my mind.

Nicholas opened its mouth, the twisted beard wriggling as it

readied to speak its dramatic line of quest dialogue.

"Shut up," I muttered, drawing my sword and leaping forward

through the snow.

4

For the first time in an entire year of play in Sword Art Online,

my HP fell into the red zone and stayed there.

When the boss finally fell and exploded, leaving only his sack

behind, I didn't have a single recovery crystal left. I'd been closer

to death than ever before, but despite my slim survival, I felt no

joy of victory or relief. It was almost a sense of disappointment.

Oh, I'm still alive.

The sack of presents followed by shattering into fragments of

light as I slowly returned my sword to its sheath. All the items the

boss dropped would have automatically been added to my inventory. I sighed heavily and raised a trembling hand to call up the

window.

There was an almost disgusting number of new items in the

display: weapons and armor, various jewels and crystals, even

food ingredients. I carefully scrolled through the extensive list,

looking for only one thing.

A few seconds later, it popped into my view, so matter-offactly that it caught me off-guard.

It was labeled the SACRED STONE OF REBIRTH. My heart instantly

leaped to life—it felt as though the paralysis that had afflicted it

for the past days and months was finally wearing off, and blood

was flowing through it again.

Would I really, truly be able to bring Sachi back? Was it possible that Keita and Tetsuo and everyone else who'd died in SAO

might not have lost their souls after all…?

I might be able to see Sachi again. The thought set my heart

trembling. No matter the insults she might hurl at me, no matter

the lies she might rightfully accuse me of, this time I would hold

her in my arms and tell her. Not that she wouldn't die, but that I

would protect her. That I'd made myself so much stronger just for

that purpose.

My trembling fingers stumbling several times, I finally got the

Sacred Stone out of my inventory. The egg-sized jewel hung radiant above my status window, sparkling beautifully with the colors

of the rainbow.

"Sachi…Sachi…"

I called out her name as I clicked the jewel and hit the HELP

button. A simple description appeared in that familiar system

font.

"By selecting the Use command from this pop-up window or calling out the command 'Revive: (Player Name)' with it held in your

hand, the target player can be brought back to life during the

brief period (roughly ten seconds) between death and the conclusion of the disintegration visual effect."

Roughly ten seconds.

That tiny little phrase told me in the clearest, cruelest terms

that Sachi was dead, and she would never come back.

Roughly ten seconds. That was the amount of time that the

NerveGear took to microwave the player's actual brain after her

HP dropped to zero and her avatar shattered into pieces.

I couldn't help but imagine it. When Sachi's body disappeared,

just ten seconds later, the NerveGear on her head killed its

wearer. Did Sachi suffer? What did she think in those final ten

seconds? Did she curse me to her final moment…?

"Aaah…aaaahhh…"

It burst out of me like an animal screech. I grabbed the Sacred

Stone floating above my window and hurled it with all my

strength against the snow.

"Aaaaaaahhh!!"

I stomped it with my boots repeatedly as I screamed, but the

jewel kept gleaming, expressionless. It didn't break in half; it

didn't even crack. I roared with all of my being, got down on my

hands and scrabbled through the snow wildly, rolled back and

forth as though possessed.

It was meaningless. It had all been for nothing. Sachi's fear

and pain and death, my insane fight against the Christmas boss,

even the birth of this world and the imprisonment of ten thousand innocent people inside of it. There was no meaning to any of

it. In this moment, I understood entirely that this was the one absolute truth of SAO.

How long did I go on? No matter how much I screamed and

wailed, it never felt like I was going to cry. My avatar must not

even have had that function. Eventually I dragged myself onto my

feet, picked the stone out of the snow, and headed back to the

warp point that led to the previous area.

Only Klein and the rest of Furinkazan were left in the clearing.

The Divine Dragon Alliance was gone. I mechanically counted

Klein's group to confirm that none of them had died as I walked

up to their seated leader.

Klein appeared to be just as terribly exhausted as I was. I

guessed that he had decided to settle the matter with the DDA

through a one-on-one duel, but no emotion rose in my chest at

the thought.

He looked up at my approach, and relief crossed his face for a

moment. But he must have noticed my expression, because his

mouth tightened immediately.

"…Kirito…"

He muttered it, his voice hoarse. I tossed the crystal onto his

knees.

"That's the resurrection item. You can't use it on someone who

died in the past. Next time someone dies in your presence, use

that on them."

I had nothing more to say. I turned to leave, but Klein grabbed

my coat.

"Kirito…Kirito, man…"

I watched with curiosity the two trails of tears run down his

stubbled cheeks, as though they were some rare and unfamiliar

phenomenon.

"Kirito…you gotta promise…that you'll survive…Even if everyone else dies, you gotta keep going, man…Live on until the end…"

I pulled my coat from Klein's fingers as he continued bawling

and repeating himself.

"So long," I said, and walked off into the Forest of Wandering.

The next thing I remembered, I was back in my inn room on the

forty-ninth floor.

It was after three o'clock in the morning.

I wondered what I would do next. My reason for living over

the past month, the resurrection stone, had been real, after all—

but not what I wanted. Over that time, I'd turned myself into a

laughingstock, a fool starved for experience points. I'd even lost

the last remaining friendship I had at the end.

After long, embattled thought, I decided to challenge the boss

of this floor's labyrinth in the morning. If I won, I'd go straight up

against the boss of the fiftieth floor. Then the fifty-first.

It was the only fitting ending to such a pitiful clown. I felt

much better once I made up my mind to do it, and I sat in my

chair waiting for the dawn, unseeing and unthinking.

The moonlight streaming through the window slowly changed

position bit by bit, then faded, replaced by the dim gray light of

dawn. I had no idea how long it'd been since I'd last slept, but for

it being my final morning after the worst night ever, I felt surprisingly good.

The clock on the wall pointed to seven, and I was just standing

up from the chair when an unfamiliar alarm reached my ears.

I looked around the room but could not identify the source of

the sound. Eventually, I noticed in the corner of my vision that a

purple marker alerting me to open my main menu was flashing. I

waved my fingers to bring it up.

Inside the menu, the tab for my shared inventory with Sachi

was glowing. There was some kind of timed alarm item inside of

it. I scrolled through the items, confused, until I found an audio

message crystal that was timed to go off today.

I removed it from the menu and placed it on top of the table.

When I clicked the crystal, I heard the familiar sound of

Sachi's voice.

Merry Christmas, Kirito.

By the time you hear this, I will likely already be dead. If I

were alive, I would have taken this crystal out and told you this

on Christmas Eve myself.

Well…first, I should probably explain why I decided to record

this message.

I don't think I'm going to survive for very long. Of course, I

don't mean this in the sense that I think you or anyone in the

Black Cats isn't strong enough. You're an incredibly good

player, and I can tell that everyone else is getting better by the

day.

Umm, how should I explain…? Recently, a good friend of

mine died, someone from another guild. That friend was just as

big a scaredy-cat as me, and never hunted anywhere that wasn't

supposed to be absolutely safe, but that didn't matter when a

monster attacked her all alone at the worst possible time. This

really made me think for a long time, and I realized something.

If you want to survive throughout this entire game, it doesn't

matter how strong your friends are. If you yourself don't have

the will to live, the determination to survive, you won't make it.

I'll be honest—I was scared from the moment I first set foot in

the wilderness. I never wanted to leave the Town of Beginnings.

I was friends with everyone in the Moonlit Black Cats in real life,

and it was fun being around them, but I never wanted to go out

and hunt. And with that kind of attitude, I was bound to die

someday. It's not anyone else's fault. That's all me.

Ever since that one time, you've told me I'll be all right, every

single night. That I'd never die. So if I die, I have a feeling that

you'll blame yourself terribly. You'll never want to forgive yourself. That's why I decided to record this message: to tell you that

it's not your fault. I wanted to tell you that it's my fault. I set the

timer on this message to next Christmas because I wanted to try

lasting until that long, at least. I want to walk through town

with you while the snow is out.

To tell the truth…I know how strong you are. Once, when I

was in your bed, I woke up and saw your window open over

your shoulder.

I tried my hardest to think of why you would work with us

but hide your real level, and I still don't understand. But I figured you would tell me eventually, so I stayed quiet about it. I…I

was really happy to know how strong you are. Once I knew

that, I was finally able to sleep at your side without any fear.

And the idea that you might actually need to be around me

made me really happy. That meant that there was even a meaning to a scaredy-cat like me reaching the upper floors.

Um…um, so what I want to say is that even if I die, I want

you to keep going. Stay alive until the end of the game and find

the reason why this world was created, the reason why a wimp

like me came here, and the reason that we met. That's my only

wish.

Umm…there's a whole lot of time left here. These things can

really hold a lot of storage. Well, since it's Christmas, I'll sing

you a song. I'm actually a pretty good singer. I'll sing you

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Normally I'd pick something

a bit cooler, like "Winter Wonderland" or "White Christmas," but

this is the only one I remember the lyrics to.

Why do I remember the lyrics to "Rudolph"? The other night,

you said that everyone has a role to fill. That there was a reason

everyone was here, even me. That made me really happy, and it

reminded me of this song. It was almost like I was the reindeer

and you were Santa. Okay, to be honest…it was more like you

were my dad. My dad left when I was little, so every night, I've

wondered if this is what it's like to sleep next to your dad. Okay,

here goes.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer / Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw it / You would even say it glows

All of the other reindeer / Used to laugh and call him names

They never let poor Rudolph / Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve / Santa came to say

Rudolph with your nose so bright / Won't you guide my

sleigh tonight?

Then how the reindeer loved him / As they shouted out with

glee

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer / You'll go down in history!

You were like the stars, shining and illuminating the dark

path in the middle of the night for me. So long, Kirito. I'm

glad I met you and got to be with you.

Thank you.

Good-bye.