Chi-chik.
A short electronic tone signaled the powering off of the AmuSphere.
Asuna opened her eyes slowly. She felt the chilly damp of the room's air
before her eyes could focus on the ceiling of the dim room.
She'd set her air conditioner to provide a bit of warmth but forgot to disable
the timer, so it had run its cycle and turned off while she was in the dive. The
room, which was a bit too big for her, was now at thermal equilibrium with the
outside temperature. She heard the sound of rain and turned to the large
window at her right to see countless droplets clinging to the outside of the dark
glass.
Asuna shivered and sat up in bed. She reached for the room environment
controller embedded in the set of drawers at her side and tapped the
"automatic" button on the touch panel. That was all it took for two curtain
motors to quietly buzz to life and shut out the windows, the air conditioner to
come awake, and the LED lights on the ceiling to emit an orangey glow.
Her room was outfitted with the latest interior systems offered by RCT's
home division. They'd installed all of these things while she was hospitalized,
but for some reason, Asuna couldn't bring herself to appreciate them. It was
completely natural to control everything about an inside room with a single
menu in VR, but something about that concept coming to the real world left her
cold. She imagined she could feel on her skin the machine gaze of all the
sensors embedded into the floor and walls.
Or perhaps she felt it was so cold because now she could compare it to the
warmth of Kazuto Kirigaya's traditional home, which she'd visited several times.
Her grandparents' house on her mother's side was like that one. When she
went there during summer vacations, she'd sit facing the back garden, her legs
dangling off the wooden porch in the sunlight, eating her grandma's shaved ice.
Those grandparents had died years ago, and the house had since been torn
down.
She sighed and stuck her feet into her slippers before getting up. The motion
made her head swim, and she tilted over. There was no avoiding the powerful
gravity of the real world.
The virtual world simulated the same level of gravity, of course. But the Asuna
in that world could leap nimbly and allow her soul to wander freely through the
air. The gravity of the real world wasn't just a physical force; it contained the
weight of many different things that dragged her down to earth. She was
tempted to fall back onto the bed, but it was nearly time for dinner. For every
minute she was late, she'd get an extra rebuke from her mother.
She dragged her heavy feet to the closet, where the door folded itself open
without any prompting on her part. She took off her loose polar fleece wear
and threw it rebelliously on the floor. Once she had changed into a spotlessly
white blouse and a long, dark cherry skirt, she sat down on the stool of the
nearby dresser, which automatically deployed a three-sided mirror and a bright
overhead light.
Even around the house, Asuna's mother did not suffer her to dress casually.
She picked up a brush and tidied the long hair that had gone messy during her
dive. As she did, she wondered what sort of scenes were playing out at that
moment at the Kirigaya home over in Kawagoe.
Leafa (Suguha) had said that she and Kazuto were both on dinner duty
tonight. Suguha would drag a sleepy-looking Kazuto downstairs. They'd stand in
the kitchen, Suguha with the knife and Kazuto cooking a fish. Before long, their
mother would return and enjoy an evening beer as she watched television. The
meal would come together as they chatted back and forth, until steaming
dishes and bowls were placed on the table, and the three said their grace.
Asuna let out a trembling breath and tried not to cry. She put down the brush
and stood up. After taking a step into the dim hallway, the lights behind her
went out before she could even close the door.
She descended the semicircular staircase to the first-floor hall, where the
housekeeper, Akiyo Sada, was about to open the front door. She was probably
on her way home after fixing dinner.
Asuna bowed to the woman, a petite figure in her early forties. "Good
evening, Mrs. Sada. Thank you for coming again. Sorry to always keep you so
late."
Akiyo shook her head, her eyes wide in consternation as she bowed deeply.
"N-not at all, Mistress. It is my job."
The last year had taught her that saying, "Call me Asuna" would be pointless.
Instead, she approached the housekeeper and quietly asked, "Are Mother and
Brother home already?"
"Master Kouichirou will be home late. Madam is already in the dining room."
"…I see. Thank you; sorry to keep you."
Once again, Asuna bowed and Akiyo bent over deeply at the waist before
pushing the heavy door open and scurrying out.
She knew the woman had a child in elementary or middle school. Their home
was also in the ward of Setagaya, but she wouldn't get home after shopping
until at least seven thirty. That was a long time for a growing child to wait for
dinner. She'd tried suggesting to her mother that they could have precooked
dinners, but the idea was never entertained.
Asuna spun on her heel, hearing three different locks click on the door behind
her, and crossed the hall to the dining room. The instant she pushed open the
heavy oaken door, a quiet but taut voice said, "You're late."
She glanced at the clock on the wall, which was at exactly six thirty. Before
she could protest this fact, the voice continued. "Come to the table five minutes
before the meal."
"…I'm sorry," Asuna grunted, stepping onto the thick rug with her slippers as
she approached the table. She lowered herself into the high-backed chair, eyes
downcast.
At the center of the three-hundred-square-foot dining room was a long, eightlegged table. Asuna's seat was the second from the northeast corner. To her
left was her brother Kouichirou's chair, and on the short, adjacent east end was
her father Shouzou's, but both were empty now.
In the chair across the table and to the left was her mother, Kyouko Yuuki, a
glass of her favorite sherry in hand, glancing through an original edition of a
book on economics.
She was quite tall for a woman. She was thin, but her solid structure kept her
from looking fragile. Her shiny, dyed-brown hair was parted evenly on both
sides and cropped straight across her shoulder line.
Though her features were attractive, the sharpness of the bridge of her nose,
the line of her jaw, and the fine but deep wrinkles around her mouth gave her
an undeniable air of severity. Then again, perhaps this effect was intended.
Through her sharp tongue and political shrewdness, she had dispatched her
department rivals and achieved tenure as a professor at just forty-nine years of
age last year.
Kyouko shut the hardcover and did not look up as Asuna sat. She spread her
napkin over her lap, picked up her knife and fork, and only then did she glance
at her daughter's face.
For her part, Asuna looked down, mumbled a formality, then picked up her
spoon. For a time, the only sound in the dining room was the faint clinking of
silverware.
The meal was a greens salad with blue cheese, fava bean potage, grilled white
fish with herb sauce, whole-wheat bread, and so on. Kyouko selected each day's
meals for maximum nutrition, but naturally, she cooked none of it.
Asuna continued to eat, wondering when these lonely meals with her mother
had become such tense, unpleasant affairs. Perhaps they had always been this
way. She remembered being scolded sharply for spilling soup or leaving
vegetables behind. It was just that in the past, Asuna had never known what a
fun and pleasant meal was, by comparison.
As she mechanically ate her meal, Asuna's mind wandered far away through
her memory to her virtual home, until Kyouko's voice brought her back. "Were
you using that machine again?"
Asuna glanced at her mother and nodded. "Yes…We made an agreement to
do our homework together."
"It's not going to sink in and do you any good unless you do that studying on
your own."
Clearly, telling Kyouko that she was doing the work on her own in that virtual
environment was not going to convince her. Asuna kept her face down and
tried a different tack. "Everyone lives very far apart. In there, we can meet one
another instantly."
"Using that machine does not count as 'meeting.' Besides, homework is
meant to be done alone. With your friends, you're bound to end up cavorting
around," Kyouko said, her speech picking up steam as she tilted back the sherry.
"And you don't have the leeway for fun and games. You're behind the others,
so it's obvious that you need to study even harder to make up those two extra
years."
"…I am doing my studies. Didn't you see the printout of my second-term
grade report I left on your desk?"
"I did, but I put no stock in the grade reports from a school like that."
"A school like…what?"
"Listen, Asuna. I'm giving you a home tutor in addition to school for your third
term. Not one of these popular online tutors, but a proper one who comes to
the house."
"W-wait…This is so sudden…"
"Look at this," Kyouko commanded, cutting off Asuna and picking up a tablet
computer off the table. Asuna took it from her and looked at the screen,
frowning.
"…What is this…? A summary of a…transfer exam?"
"I called in a favor from a friend who's a high school director to allow you to
take a transfer exam for their senior program. Not a slapped-together school
like your current one, but a real school. It works on credits, so you could fulfill
the graduation requirements in the first semester. That way, you can be in
college starting in September."
Asuna stared at her mother's face in shock. She put down the tablet and
raised her hand to keep Kyouko from continuing. "W-wait. You can't just decide
that on your own. I like my school. The teachers there are nice, and it's a good,
proper school. I don't need to transfer," she squeaked.
Kyouko sighed and made a show of closing her eyes, holding her temples with
her fingers, and leaning back against the chair. This was her finely honed
conversation technique to convince the other person of her superior position.
No doubt any man who witnessed this trick on the sofa of the professor's office
would shrink up. Even her husband, Shouzou, seemed to avoid offering any
antagonistic opinions around the house.
"Your mother looked into this properly," Kyouko lectured. "The place you're
attending now can hardly be called a school. Their curriculum is slapdash and
the subjects are shallow. They scraped together anyone they could get for a
faculty, hardly any of which have experience. It's less of an academic institution
than a correctional facility."
"You…you can't say that…"
"It all sounds very nice when you call it a school that accepts students whose
education has fallen behind due to an accident. But in reality, it's nothing more
than a place where they can gather potential future problem children to keep
an eye on them. Perhaps there's a function for such a place, when some of
those children have spent all that time killing one another in some bizarre
game, but there's no reason for you to be there."
"…"
It was such an avalanche of withering criticism that Asuna could not speak.
The school campus situated in western Tokyo that she'd been attending since
last spring was indeed a hastily built school, constructed just two months after
it was announced. The purpose of it was to educate those players who had
been trapped in the deadly Sword Art Online and lost two years of their
education. Any former SAO player under the age of eighteen could attend
without an entrance test or any tuition, and a graduate automatically earned
the right to sit for a college entrance exam—treatment that was so favorable,
some people even complained about it.
But Asuna knew from her attendance at the school that it was more than just
a safety net. All students were required to undergo individual counseling once a
week, where they were subjected to questions meant to detect antisocial
behavior or thoughts. Depending on the answers, they could be
reinstitutionalized or given drugs to take. So Kyouko's accusation that it was a
"correctional facility" was not entirely untrue.
Even if that was the case, Asuna loved her "school." No matter the
government ministries' intentions, the teachers who worked there were all
volunteers who earnestly sought to connect with the students. There was no
need to hide her past from the other kids, and she got to spend time with the
friends she'd made: Lisbeth, Silica, a number of the frontline warriors—and
Kirito.
She bit her lip, still clutching the fork, and struggled with a sudden urge to
reveal all of her most fervent inner feelings to her mother.
I'm exactly one of those children who spent all that time killing others. I was
living in a world where lives were taken and lost by the sword every day. And I
don't regret those days even the tiniest bit…
But Kyouko did not seem to detect her daughter's inner conflict. "You're not
going to advance into a good college coming out of a school like that. You're
already eighteen, don't you see? And at this rate, I can't begin to imagine when
you'll be in college, if you stick with that place. Every one of your friends from
middle school is about to take the standardized college exam next week. Don't
you feel pressured to catch up?"
"There shouldn't be a serious problem if I'm a year or two late to get into
college. Besides, going to college isn't the only kind of career path to go
down…"
"That's preposterous," Kyouko rebuked sternly. "You have talent. You know
what incredible pains your father and I have gone through to bring out that
talent to the fullest. And then you lost two years to that crazy game…I wouldn't
be saying this to you if you were an ordinary child. But you're not ordinary, are
you? It would be a sin to let the talent you have go untapped. You have the
ability to go to a great college and receive a first-class education—and that's
what you ought to do. You can take your talents to the government or a
business, or you can stay in school and make a living in academia. I'm not going
to interfere with your choice. The one thing I will not allow you to do, however,
is completely abandon those opportunities."
"There's no such thing as hereditary talent," Asuna managed to squeeze in
when Kyouko stopped her speech for a breath. "You have to seize your own life,
don't you? When I was younger, I thought that getting into a good college and
finding a good job was all there was to life. But I changed. I don't have an
answer yet, but I think I'm close to finding out what I really want to do. I want
to attend this school for one more year so I can find it."
"Why would you limit your own options? You could spend years at that place
and never create any kind of opportunity for yourself. But this transfer location
is different. The college it feeds into is excellent, and if your marks are good,
you can even get into my graduate school. Listen to me, Asuna—I just don't
want you to make your life miserable. I want you to have a career that you can
be proud of."
"My career…? Then what was up with that man you forced me to meet at the
house over New Year's? I don't know what sort of story you fed him…but he
seemed to think that we were already engaged. The only one who's limiting my
life options is you, Mother."
Asuna couldn't keep her voice from trembling a bit. She was trying to keep
her gaze as level and powerful as possible, but Kyouko only put the sherry to
her lips, completely unperturbed.
"Marriage is a part of a career. Put yourself into a marriage that limits your
material freedom, and you'll regret it in five or ten years. You won't be able to
do those things you say you want to do. You won't have any trouble with Yuuya
in that regard. And there's much more stability in a family-run regional bank
than a megabank with all the internal competition that it involves. I happen to
like Yuuya. He's a good, honest boy."
"…You haven't learned a thing, have you? Don't forget that the one who
started that terrible crime spree, hurt me and many others, and nearly
destroyed RCT was your personal choice for me: Nobuyuki Sugou."
"Don't even start," Kyouko said, grimacing and waving at the air as though
swatting an invisible fly. "I don't want to hear about him. Besides…it was your
father who was so enamored with that man that he wanted him for a son-inlaw. He's never been a good judge of character. Don't worry about Yuuya; he
might not be as ambitious or forceful, but that just makes him safer and more
stable."
It was true that Shouzou, her father, had a bad habit of ignoring those who
were closest to him. He focused on running the business first and foremost;
even after leaving the CEO position, he was too busy tweaking deals with
foreign capital sources to come home anymore. He admitted that it was a
weakness of his that he'd been too obsessed with Sugou's development skills
and vast ambitions and didn't pay any attention to the toxic human personality
behind the business acumen.
But Asuna felt that one of the reasons for Nobuyuki Sugou's increasingly
aggressive behavior since her middle school years was the incredible pressure
that was placed upon him. And part of that pressure was undoubtedly the
attitude that Kyouko exhibited.
Asuna swallowed a bitter lump in her throat and kept her voice hard. "At any
rate, I have zero intention of getting along with him. I'll choose my own
partner."
"Fine, as long as it's a good man who suits you. And let me be clear: That does
not include any of the students at that facility."
"…"
Something about the way Kyouko said that made it seem oddly specific, and
Asuna felt another chill run through her.
"Did you…look into him…?" she rasped in shock. Kyouko did not confirm or
deny the accusation; instead, she changed the subject.
"You have to understand, your father and I just want you to be happy. From
the moment we picked out your kindergarten, that's been our only concern. I
know that deep down, you regret getting involved on a whim with that game
Kouichirou bought. So you tripped and lost your footing a little bit, but you can
still recover. Only if you truly work for it, though. You can still have the most
brilliant career, if you just put in the effort."
The best career for you, not me, Asuna thought bitterly.
Asuna and Kouichirou were only elements of Kyouko's personal "brilliant
career." Kouichirou went to a first-rate college and was working his way up the
ladder at RCT, to Kyouko's satisfaction. Asuna was meant to follow in his
footsteps, but between the freakish SAO Incident and the damage to RCT's
image caused by Sugou's malfeasance, Kyouko was clearly feeling that her own
career was damaged.
Asuna didn't have the spirit to continue arguing. She put her fork and knife
down next to her half-eaten meal and stood up. "Let me think about the
transfer," she said.
But Kyouko's response was dry and clinical. "You have until next week to
decide. Fill out the necessary fields by then, print out three copies, and leave
them on my desk."
Asuna hung her head and turned for the door. She considered just going back
to her room, but there was something in her chest she needed to expel. A step
out into the hallway, she turned back and coldly called out, "Mother."
"…What?"
"You're ashamed of Grandma and Grandpa, aren't you? You're unhappy that
you were born from a simple farming family, rather than some famous house
with proper heritage."
Kyouko looked stunned for a moment, but the harsh furrows returned to her
brows and lips immediately. "Asuna! Come over here!" she snapped.
Asuna was already closing the heavy teak door. She darted across the hall and
raced up the stairs, yanking open her bedroom door.
The sensors immediately caught sight of her and automatically turned on the
lights and heat. She walked over to the control panel on the wall, unbearably
irritated, and shut down the environment control system. She then threw
herself onto the bed and buried her face in her pillow, not caring if her
expensive blouse got wrinkled.
She didn't mean to cry. As a swordsman, she swore never to cry tears of
sadness or frustration again. But that oath only amplified the agony that
strangled her lungs.
Somewhere inside her head, a voice mocked, You think you're a swordsman?
Just because you weren't half bad at swinging around a little digital sword in a
stupid game? What good is that going to do you in the real world? Asuna
clenched her jaw.
She should have changed after meeting him in that other world. She should
have quit blindly following someone else's values and learned to fight for what
she ought to do.
But from the outside, what was actually different about her now, compared
to before she'd been trapped there? She put on a false smile like a little doll for
the sake of her relatives, and she couldn't firmly refuse the life her parents had
set up for her. If she could be what she believed was her true self only in the
virtual world, then what was the point of coming back to reality at all?
"Kirito…Kirito." The name whispered through her trembling lips.
Kirito—Kazuto Kirigaya—still seemed to possess the hardy will he'd gained
from SAO even now, more than a year after their return to the real world. He
had to be dealing with his own pressures, but he never let it show on his face.
When she had asked him what his future goals were, he smiled shyly and said
that he wanted to be on the side of the developer, rather than the player. And
not for software like VRMMOs, but a new man–machine interface, a much
closer and more intimate connection than the current full-dive technology, with
its many limitations and regulations. Even now, he was active in tech forums
both domestic and foreign, studying and exchanging opinions with others eager
to advance the interface.
Asuna believed that he would continue to head straight for his goal without
hesitation. If possible, she wanted to be with him all the way, following that
same dream. She was hoping to go to school with him for the next year so that
she could determine what she needed to study to make that happen.
But that possibility was now on the rocks, and Asuna was filled with the
helpless feeling that she could not resist the forces compelling her.
"Kirito…"
She wanted to see him. It didn't have to be in the real world; she just wanted
to go back to their little cabin so she could cry into his chest and reveal all of her
troubles.
But she couldn't. The one whom Kirito loved wasn't this powerless Asuna
Yuuki, but Asuna the Flash, mightiest fencer in all the land. That knowledge was
like a heavy chain around her neck.
"You're strong, Asuna. Much stronger than me…"
Kirito's long-past words echoed in her ears. Maybe he would distance himself
from her, as soon as she revealed her weakness to him.
The thought terrified her.
Asuna stayed facedown on the bed until she eventually fell into a light sleep.
She saw herself walking arm-in-arm with Kirito through the shade of the
trees, silver scabbard at her waist. But her other self was locked in a dark place,
forced to watch silently as the pair laughed and chatted away.
In the midst of her bittersweet dream, Asuna pined to return to that world.