Chapter 9

From the moment she saw the enormous hospital, Asuna was expecting

something like this, the possibility that Yuuki was suffering from some terrible

condition. But she couldn't prevent herself from gasping when she heard the

name from the doctor's mouth. She stared through the glass at the prone Yuuki,

feeling her body freeze solid.

This was the reality of it all? Both her reason and emotions refused to accept

that the perpetually lively, powerful Yuuki was an isolated existence surrounded

by imposing medical machinery.

I was a fool who didn't know anything and never tried to, a voice screamed

inside of her. Now she knew the meaning of the tears Yuuki shed just before

she vanished. They meant…

"But today, AIDS isn't nearly as terrible a condition as we once thought it

was," she heard Dr. Kurahashi say kindly. "As long as you start treatment early

after contracting HIV, you can hold off the onset of AIDS by ten or even twenty

years. As long as you take your medicine and manage your health carefully,

your life can be virtually the same as before contraction."

The doctor sat in the chair in front of the console with a small creak. He

continued. "But, unfortunately, the virus she caught was a drug-resistant strain.

Apparently, after it was revealed that the entire family was infected, Yuuki's

mother considered having them all choose death. But she was also a devout

Catholic. Through the power and support of her faith and husband, she was

able to overcome the initial danger and chose to fight the disease."

"To…fight…"

"Yes. Just after she was born, Yuuki underwent HAART, or highly active

antiretroviral therapy. After she survived the most critical early period, she

grew up well, if a little small. She was relatively normal until elementary school,

in fact. But it's difficult for a small child to take so many regular medications.

And RT inhibitors have intense side effects. But Yuuki stayed strong and was

determined to fight her condition. She hardly ever skipped a day of school, and

she maintained grades that were the top in her class. She had many friends, and

from what I've seen of the videos of that time, her smile was as radiant as the

sun…"

He paused. Asuna heard him make a nearly inaudible sigh.

"Yuuki's status as an HIV carrier was kept secret from the school. That is

normal protocol. Schools and businesses are forbidden from conducting HIV

blood tests. But…right after she started fourth grade, through means unknown,

a number of the school parents became aware that she was a carrier. The word

spread like wildfire. The law prohibits discrimination against sufferers of HIV,

but sadly, not every factor of society works solely on altruistic, healthy

reasoning…The school was inundated with requests to remove her, as well as

harassing letters and phone calls asserting all manner of false stories. Her

parents resisted the onslaught of abuse, but ultimately, they had no choice but

to move residences and transfer Yuuki to a new school."

"…"

Asuna couldn't even murmur to show that she was listening anymore. It was

all she could do to listen to his words, her spine frozen stiff.

"But Yuuki continued to attend her new school without crying. However…life

is cruel. It was just around this time that her CD4 count, the lymphocytes that

can indicate lowered immune response, began to drop precipitously. In other

words…she had progressed to the AIDS stage. Even now, I believe it was the

actions and statements of that school's parents and teachers, and the way they

hurt her deep inside, that resulted in this shift."

The young doctor's voice was calm and measured. It was only the sharpness

of his breath that betrayed his emotional state.

"When your immune system is compromised, it causes you to be vulnerable

to viruses and germs that the body is usually perfectly capable of fighting. These

are called opportunistic infections. Yuuki was first brought to this hospital when

she contracted PCP, a particularly troublesome form of pneumonia. That was

three and a half years ago. Even in the hospital, she was always smiling and

reassuring us that she wouldn't give in and let the disease win. She never even

raised a single complaint during the more painful tests. However…"

He paused briefly to shift his weight. "Germs and viruses exist everywhere, all

over the hospital, and especially in the patient's body. So the risk of

opportunistic infections continues even after hospitalization, and the longer

you continue HAART treatment, the greater the risk that the virus will acquire

more drug resistance. After the pneumonia, Yuuki caught esophageal

candidiasis. This was right around the time that society was rocked by the

NerveGear scandal. In the midst of calls to outlaw full-dive tech altogether, a

medical-use NerveGear prototype developed by the government and tech

companies—in other words, the Medicuboid—was installed in the hospital for

clinical trials. But given that this was the NerveGear, and an even more

powerful version at that, no one could have known the long-term effect it

would have on the human brain. It was very hard to find patients who were

willing to brave that risk to test the unit out. So with that in mind, I made a

proposal to Yuuki and her family…"

As she waited for him to continue, Asuna stared at Yuuki on her bed, and the

white cube that covered most of her face. The inside of Asuna's mind was cold

and numb. What little of her confused wits was able to think straight

desperately tried to avoid facing the truth.

Based on the time it was developed, the Medicuboid was an offshoot of the

NerveGear, not the later AmuSphere. Asuna was totally used to the AmuSphere

now, but there were times that she missed the greater, more immersive clarity

of the original NerveGear's virtual reality. The AmuSphere had numerous safety

measures, a lesson learned from the SAO Incident, but its simulation of reality

was unquestionably inferior to the original device.

So the Medicuboid had several times the number of pulse nodes as the

NerveGear, was capable of blocking signals from the entire body, and boasted a

far more powerful CPU than the AmuSphere. Yuuki's incredible strength in

Alfheim was a product of her interface, then?

An instant later, Asuna knew that wasn't true. The sharpness of Yuuki's skill

far surpassed anything dependent on machine specs. In battle instinct alone,

she was at least Kirito's equal, if not better.

As far as Asuna understood, Kirito's strength came from his experience

fighting at the front line longer and harder than anyone else during his two

years as a prisoner in SAO. In that case, how long had Yuuki spent inside the

world created by the Medicuboid?

"As you can see, the Medicuboid prototype is an exceedingly powerful and

delicate machine," Dr. Kurahashi said, after a long silence. "We installed it in

this clean room for safe, long-term testing. In other words, conditions with no

airborne dust or dirt, purged of all bacteria and viruses. In these circumstances,

the test subject is at a vastly lowered risk of opportunistic infections. So I

proposed this to Yuuki and her family."

"…"

"Even now, I wonder sometimes if it was really the best option for her. In

AIDS treatment, we prize something called QOL: Quality of Life. It means trying

to maintain a high-functioning, meaningful life for the patient during treatment.

In that sense, the test subject has an inadequate QOL. She cannot leave the

clean room nor come into contact with another human being. My proposal was

a very difficult decision for Yuuki and her family. But I believe that the allure of

the virtual world was what helped her make up her mind. She agreed to

become a test subject and entered this chamber. Yuuki has been living inside

the Medicuboid ever since."

"Ever…since…?"

"Yes, literally. She almost never returns to the real world. In fact, at this point,

she can't return. In terminal care, we use morphine to ease the patient's pain,

but she's currently getting that from the Medicuboid's signal-canceling

function. Aside from her daily data collection test, which lasts a few hours, she's

been traveling through various virtual worlds. My meetings with her happen

over there, naturally."

"Meaning…she's been in a dive for twenty-four hours a day…? For…"

"Three years," he said.

She lost all words.

All this time, she assumed that it was the former SAO players who had the

most AmuSphere experience of anyone in the entire world. But she was wrong.

The tiny, emaciated girl on the bed over there was the purest traveler of virtual

worlds on the planet. And that was the secret to Yuuki's strength.

You're a complete and total resident of this world, aren't you, Kirito had asked

Yuuki. Through that short battle, he must have sensed something within her,

something akin.

Somewhere in her heart, Asuna felt a sensation like humility flooding through

her. She closed her eyes and lowered her head, feeling like a knight taking a

knee and pledging her sword to a far superior warrior.

After a period of silence, Asuna tore her eyes away to face Dr. Kurahashi.

"Thank you for letting me see Yuuki. She'll be just fine here, won't she? She'll be

able to keep adventuring on the other side, won't she…?"

But he didn't respond at once. He simply sat in the chair in front of the

console, hands folded over his knees, staring kindly at Asuna.

"Just being in a clean, sterilized room does not purge the bacteria or viruses

inside her body. Such things only grow in strength as the body's immune system

weakens. Yuuki is suffering from cytomegalovirus and nontuberculous

mycobacterial infections—she's lost nearly all sight. She's also got brain lesions

caused by the HIV itself. She's essentially unable to move her body on her own

anymore."

"…"

"It's been fifteen years since she contracted HIV, and three and a half years

with AIDS. Yuuki is in her terminal stage. She's recognized this fact with lucid

understanding. I believe that you understand now why she wanted to vanish."

"No…no…"

Asuna shook her head. Her eyes were wide. But she couldn't cast aside the

truth that had been laid upon her.

Yuuki had always resisted getting any closer to Asuna. In truth, it was for

Asuna's own sake. Yuuki wanted it that way to minimize Asuna's pain when the

inevitable parting came. And it wasn't just her. Siune and the rest of the

Sleeping Knights had maintained that mysterious attitude whenever the topic

came up because they knew the truth as well.

But Asuna never realized, never tried to learn, and ended up hurting Yuuki.

With a sharp, stabbing pain, Asuna recalled Yuuki's tears before she logged out

at Blackiron Palace. Suddenly, she realized something.

She looked up and asked, "Um, Doctor…did Yuuki have…an older sister?"

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hesitated but eventually nodded. "I

didn't tell you this, because it doesn't pertain to Yuuki herself…but you are

correct. Yuuki had a twin sister. That was the reason for the C-section that was

the cause of all of this."

He looked up into empty space, perusing his memories, and grinned.

"Her sister's name was Aiko. She, too, was at this hospital. They weren't the

most identical of twins…Yuuki was the happy and energetic one, and Aiko

preferred to sit back and watch her. Now that I think about it…something about

your face and mannerisms reminds me of her…"

His use of the past tense bothered her. She stared at him. He seemed to sense

her unasked question, and explained, "Yuuki's parents died two years ago…and

her sister died last year."

She thought she had understood what it meant to lose something.

Asuna had repeatedly witnessed the loss of human life while in that long-lost

world. On several occasions, she had peered into that abyss herself. So she

thought she understood that when the time came, people died. That no matter

how hard you struggled, there were certain facts that could never be

overturned.

But now that she understood the past and current state of Yuuki, a girl Asuna

had only known for a few days, the weight of it overwhelmed her. She leaned

against the thick glass. The very meaning of the word reality was melting,

trickling away. She pressed her forehead against the cold, hard surface.

She had fought hard enough. Somewhere in her mind, she thought there was

nothing wrong with fixating on the simple pleasure she had found. She made

excuses for being afraid of change, shying away from friction, backing away and

mincing her words.

But Yuuki had been fighting from the moment she was born. She fought and

fought and fought against the cruel reality that threatened to steal everything

she had, and even knowing her impending finality, she still found the strength

to flash that radiant smile.

Asuna shut her eyes tight. Silently, she sent a message to Yuuki, who was

undoubtedly traveling some far-off land right now.

I want to see you again. Just one more time.

She wanted to talk to her about the truth this time. Yuuki had told her that

there were things she couldn't get across without confronting them. If she

couldn't rip away everything that she'd wrapped around her weakness and

exchange words with Yuuki again, then why had they met at all?

At last, something hot bled into the lids of her eyes. Asuna put her right hand

to the glass window, tensing her fingers, seeking any kind of texture from its

perfectly smooth surface.

Suddenly, from nowhere in particular, a gentle voice said, "Don't cry, Asuna."

Her head shot upward as if on a spring. Her eyes sprang open as well, droplets

flying from her lashes. She stared at the bedridden girl. The little figure was still

lying prone there, in the exact same spot she had been before. Nothing was

different with the white machine covering her face. But Asuna noticed that one

of the blue indicator lights on the side facing her was blinking irregularly. The

display on the monitor was different from before—it was displaying a small

message reading USER TALKING.

"Yuuki…?" Asuna murmured, barely a whisper. She tried once more, louder

this time. "Yuuki? Are you there?"

The response was immediate. The speakers fixed above the thick glass

partition had to be conveying her voice over there.

"Yeah. It's through the lens, but I can see you, Asuna. Incredible…You look just

like you do over there…Thanks for coming."

"…Yuuki…I…I…"

The more she wanted to say, the less the words would come. She felt an

indescribable helplessness wrench at her heart. Before her lips would work, the

speakers above continued.

"Doctor, please let Asuna use the room next door."

"Huh…?"

Asuna turned around, confused. Dr. Kurahashi was deep in thought, his

expression severe, but eventually he regained his usual gentle smile.

"Very well. On the other side of that door is the full-dive seat and AmuSphere

that I use for our meetings. You may lock it from the inside, but please keep

yourself to twenty minutes or so. We are cutting out a number of steps here,

after all."

"Er…of course," she replied hastily, then looked back at the girl lying beneath

the Medicuboid. Yuuki's voice emerged from the speakers.

"ALO's included in the app launcher, so once you log in, come to where we first

met."

"Okay…got it. Hang on, I'll be there soon," she said, her voice loud and clear.

She gave Dr. Kurahashi a polite bow and turned to the door. Within a few steps,

she reached the far wall of the monitor room and placed her hand over the

sensor. When the door slid open, she squeezed through it.

The room beyond was about half the size of the monitoring station. There

were two black leather recliners, both with familiar circular headgear on the

headrests.

She impatiently turned back to lock the door, casting her bag onto the floor,

then lay on the nearer of the seats. At the end of the armrest were some

buttons that she used to adjust the incline, then she picked up the AmuSphere

and set it on her head. Asuna took a deep breath, turned on the power, saw

nothing but white, and left the real world.

Asuna awoke as the undine fencer in the bedroom of her forest home. She

leaped upward without waiting for her VR senses to become fully aligned. Her

wings buzzed as they carried her through the window without her feet touching

the ground.

It was early morning in Alfheim, and the deep forest was shrouded in thick

mist. She spun into a turn and then upward, shooting above the trees to break

out of the layer of white. Her arms were held tight against her body as she

rocketed toward the center of the floor.

In less than three minutes, she was within the airspace of the floor's main

town, descending upon the glowing blue portal at the center of the square. As a

number of players watched, wide-eyed, she did a half turn and came screeching

to a stop. At the very moment that her bodily inertia hit zero, she passed

through the gate.

"Teleport! Panareze!" she shouted. A deluge of pale light surged, pushing her

upward.

In an instant, the process was done, and she hurtled out into the main plaza

of Panareze, main city of the twenty-fourth floor. She jumped hard off the

cobblestones, flying for the little island to the north of the city. Asuna zoomed

at top speed, her shadow landing on the lake water wreathed with trails of

mist.

The silhouette of a large tree loomed ahead. It seemed like the long-distant

past in which Yuuki the Absolute Sword had waged her informal duels. The time

she'd been there before, there had been a bustling crowd, but now it was

empty and silent.

Asuna gradually slowed down, weaving around the trunk and preparing to

land. The mist was so thick that she couldn't see the ground. She landed softly,

rustling the dewy grass. Because it was still before dawn, her visibility was

limited to just a few feet away. She raced around the tree, her desperation

growing.

Halfway around the trunk, on the eastern side, a ray of light from the outer

aperture finally broke through the mist for a moment. At last, through the break

in the curtain, Asuna found the person she was looking for.

Yuuki was facing the other direction. Her long, dark hair and bronze-colored

skirt waved in the breeze. As Asuna held her breath, the imp girl turned and

stared at her with garnet-red eyes. Her pale lips formed a smile as delicate as

melting snowflakes.

"For some reason, I just had a hunch that you'd find me in the real world.

Even though you shouldn't have, since I didn't tell you a thing," Yuuki

whispered, then smiled again. "But you came. It's pretty rare that my hunches

come true. I was very happy…so happy."

Just a few days' absence had added a kind of transparency to Yuuki's bearing.

Asuna felt something sharp pinch her heart. She approached slowly, one step at

a time, praying that the girl wasn't just an illusion.

Her extended fingers brushed Yuuki's shoulder. She was unable to stop

herself from enfolding the girl's small body in her arms, squeezing her to feel

the warmth.

Yuuki showed no surprise; she leaned her head against Asuna's shoulder like a

blade of grass pushed by the wind. Through the contact of their bodies, Asuna

felt a heart-trembling warmth from her that was greater than any digital data

sent through electronic pulse nodes. She let out a slow breath and closed her

eyes.

"…It smells the way it did when Big Sis would hold me like this. The smell of

the sun…" Yuuki whispered, letting her weight lean against Asuna.

Asuna, meanwhile, uttered her first words here from trembling lips. "Do you

mean…Aiko? Did she play VRMMOs, too…?"

"Yes. That hospital let us use AmuSpheres in ordinary patient rooms, too. Big

Sis was the original leader of the Sleeping Knights. And she was way, waaay

better than me…"

Yuuki ground her forehead into Asuna's shoulder. Asuna reached up and

traced the silky hair. The younger girl tensed up, then eased. "At first there

were nine Sleeping Knights. But we've lost three of them now, including Big

Sis…So we all had a discussion and came to a decision. When the next one

went, we'd break up the guild. But before then, we had to create the best

memory ever…a great, fantastic adventure that we could tell Big Sis and the

others about when we were reunited."

"…"

"We first met in a virtual hospice called Serene Garden, within a medical

network. Our conditions are all different, but our circumstances are the same.

So the server was set up for us to meet and have fun together in a VR

environment, so that our last moments could be worthwhile…"

Ever since Dr. Kurahashi had started to explain back at the hospital, Asuna

had a suspicion about this. There was that same strength, cheeriness, and calm

that all of the Sleeping Knights shared; she had wondered if maybe that meant

that they were all coming from the same place.

But even anticipating this bombshell, Asuna felt Yuuki's words sink to the

bottom of her chest, irrevocably heavy. The bright smiles of Siune, Jun, Tecchi,

Nori, and Talken all flitted through her mind's eye.

"I'm sorry, Asuna. For not telling you the truth. The Sleeping Knights aren't

breaking up in the spring because we'll be too busy to keep playing the game.

It's because two of us have been told that we have three months left at the

most. So…so that's why we wanted to make our final memories here, in this

wonderful place. We wanted to put proof that we had been here on that giant

monument," Yuuki said, her voice trembling again. All Asuna could do was put

more strength into her arms as she squeezed.

"But it wasn't really working for us…and we started to wonder if we should

look for someone, just one person, who could help us. Not everyone was for it.

They said that if whomever we chose found out the truth, it would be a burden

on them and cause them terrible pain. And…that's exactly what happened. I'm

sorry…I'm sorry, Asuna. If it's possible…I want you to forget about us. Right

now, if you can…"

"I can't," she replied shortly. She rubbed her cheek against Yuuki's head.

"Because it wasn't a burden, not in the least. It wasn't terrible. I'm so happy

that I met you and was able to help you. Even now…I wish that you would let

me join the Sleeping Knights."

"…Ahh…"

Both Yuuki's breath and her delicate body shuddered deeply for an instant.

"I…I'm so happy I came here and got to meet you, Asuna…Just hearing that was

enough for me. Now, at last…I'm satisfied…with everything…"

"…"

Asuna put her hands on Yuuki's shoulders and pulled away. She stared into

those wet, shining purple eyes.

"But…but there are still so many things you haven't done. There are all kinds

of places you haven't seen in Alfheim yet…and if you include all the other VR

worlds, this place is endless. So please, don't say you're satisfied…"

She was trying her best to keep finding the right words, but Yuuki's gaze and

smile were vacant, as though she were looking at something far, far away.

"In the last three years…we've gone on all kinds of adventures in all kinds of

worlds. I want the memory I created with you to be the final page."

"But…there has to be more…More things to do, more places to go…" Asuna

suggested desperately. If she didn't challenge Yuuki's decision, the girl might

simply disappear into the mist in a moment. Suddenly, Yuuki's focus snapped

from the distant horizon to Asuna's face, and she smiled in that mischievous

way she'd done so often during their struggle against the boss.

"That's a good point…I want to go to school."

"S…school?"

"I've gone to school in the virtual world a few times, but it's too quiet and

pristine and well-mannered. I want to go to a real school again, the kind I went

to years and years ago," Yuuki said, grinning, then ducked her head in apology.

"Sorry for asking the impossible. I really, really appreciate the way you feel. But

I really am happy with this…"

"You might be able to."

"…Huh?" Yuuki blinked in surprise, then stared at Asuna. The older girl

thought hard, trying to summon the memory from the back of her mind.

"I think you might be able to go…to school."