Chapter 244: Halloween Trick or Treating (4) + Party (1)

[General POV]

Edward stopped the matter from going worse by confessing what he had done. He had too, or else the police matter would be too complicated. 

"I can't believe you! What if my dad was in there? You could've killed him!" Claire scolded me. Edward scoffed and said, "Me? Then, tell me why did you decide to have a doll house theme? Did you really think I would find out about it?"

They bickered for a while, and the police were helpless because of their arguing. After having some conversation with the cops, the cops left, and Edward went to his dad to explain about his disappearance, and then went to his friends. 

[Phil and Claire's commentary]

While Phil's face was pale, Claire was excited and she exclaimed, "Ohh! I will make sure to return this humiliation next year! I'll keep this as a grudge until then."

Phil muttered sadly, "I just want the dolls out of the house."

[Commentary ends]

"Sorry about that." Edward apologized to Jenna, Elsa, Enid and Alex. "You guys all look awesome by the way."

"It's fine. It's fun seeing you fight with mom." Alex chuckled. Enid became smug and posed with her cat-woman costume, "I do look awesome. Have you fallen for me yet?"

Alex rolled her eyes, "Stop that. You're embarrassing yourself."

"Ed! We have some time, I think? Wanna go trick or treating?" Jenna asked excitedly.

Edward chuckled and said, "It's fine. I'm not even wearing a costume right now. We should go to my other house for the party."

"I can solve the costume problem." Enid said before she reached into her pocket and took out a plastic fang. "You just have to wear this, and slick your hair back, maybe some light makeup, and you can be a Vampire from Twilight."

Edward's face contorted into a frown, obviously– which made the girls laugh at his reaction. Elsa said mockingly, "I think Enid had imagined something like this would happen for a very long time."

Enid nodded without embarrassment and said, "I even have colored contacts if you want," which made the girls giggled. Edward gave up and said, "Fine. Just do it."

"YES!" Jenna and Enid exclaimed at the same time before they put on some light makeup on Edward.

Back to the Dunphy house. After settling the affairs, Claire wanted to come inside the house, but Gloria, Mitchell and Phil just stayed in front of the door, waiting for her to go first.

Claire rolled her eyes and said, "Come on! Don't tell me you guys are still afraid?!"

"You don't mess with a spirit's presence like this, and think that they won't mess with you back. I've seen this happen all the time. It starts with a simple prank, and it turns into a horror story." Gloria said solemnly. 

Mitchell said hintingly, "Remember when we used the OUIJA board to ask if Donald was gay? And the entire house lost electricity? So she might be right on this." He gently shook Lily who was sleeping in his arms. "I can't take the risk Claire."

Claire stopped her steps forward and took another glance at the house. She turned to Phil and said, "Phil, come on. Let's go in."

"Um…I…I think we should find another place to stay tonight." Phil replied.

Claire became exasperated and said, "Are you really that scared?"

"I'm not scared. It's just I'm thinking about the children." Phil said while pulling Luke in front of him. Claire's eyes flickered in realization, figuring that Phil only wanted to protect their children, but then Phil muttered, "Besides, I can't move my legs forward."

"Mom. Can we stay at Grandpa's tonight?" Luke said while flashing his cute expression. Manny added, "After experiencing such a turbulent night, some extra company inside my room will be greatly appreciated."

"Fine. We'll stay at Grandpa's." Claire relented. But before Phil and Luke could cheer up, Claire said, "Someone needs to help me pick up the car keys though…and the house key,some money, my purse…"

Luke stepped aside, leaving Phil alone facing Claire. Gloria and Mitchell also stepped backwards at the same time. "Good, a volunteer." Claire said as she grabbed Phil's arm.

"NOOO!" Phil shouted miserably, trying to grab the door frame before Claire could drag him in, but he failed to do so.

Agent Smith finally saw Edward walking around with his friends, and felt relieved.

"We found 'Playboy'. You guys can stop searching." He said to his intercoms.

Agent Gobble said jokingly, "So, we can stop scouring for the 'Horny MILFs' in your area list?"

Although he was joking, they actually did go through the list. It was the best night in Gobble's life. He got lucky 3 times already tonight. He got numbers of course, not the other type of lucky. After all, he was still a professional. 

"I mean, if you want to continue, that's up to you. I know those women are your type." Agent Smith said mockingly.

Suddenly a voice of a young woman interrupted the conversation, "Anyone wants to know who he met with? Hint, the answer might surprise you."

"You found where he went?" Smith asked with a slight surprise and intrigue. But then, he said, "Don't tell anyone what you saw. Keep that to yourself. As long as he wasn't meeting an enemy representative, we don't have to get involved in his daily life."

"Aye Aye Sir." The girl muttered playfully.

Agent Smith pondered for a moment before asking, "It was…a girl, right?"

"You said you didn't want to know?" The girl mocked as she monitored Sage walking out of Edward's empty house. "It was a girl. Extremely pretty too." She added.

Agent Smith nodded before he went to protect Edward, acting like his shadow. 

Jenna pushed Enid and Alex to the front while they were ringing someone's doorbell. "Ed, you bend your knee a bit to become the same height as Jenna." Enid said.

"This is your plan?" Edward muttered with disbelief. Enid rang the doorbell to the house excitedly, and a familiar face opened up the door. The Christian mother who received Edward's unhinged rap before, now has a frantic look on her face. She looked a bit dissatisfied and just threw the candies into our bucket, "Take– Take it all!. We still have quite a lot of it."

"Thank you Ma'am, would you like to hear a song as our thank you?" Edward muttered teasingly. The mother widened her eyes in anxiousness and slammed the door into the group's faces. "No! Get lost!"

Alex exclaimed, "Well, she's rude."

Elsa added, "Pent up maybe. Her husband couldn't satisfy her any longer, so she took out her frustrations on us."

Edward was laughing to himself the entire time, and Jenna caught it, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just think she's traumatized. Alright, I hate to say this, but your plan actually works. Good job."

The girls looked smug, and after reveling in the feeling for a while, Alex looked at her watch and said, "Shouldn't we go to the party now?"

"Don't we still have the time to go to another house? Come on, Ed has never gone before." Jenna said before grabbing Edward's hand and pulling him away.

Unfortunately, all 3 houses that they went afterwards had already run out of candies. The girls were disappointed, but Edward comforted them, "Don't worry. It's all you can eat at the party. Let's go."

A black, high class 7 seater SUV took them to Edward's party. Elsa wanted to rent a limo at first, but was vetoed by Edward. The others were already at the party, so they needed to hurry.

…

[Haley's commentary]

"I…No, we…made a mistake." Haley muttered with an ashen face.

[Commentary paused]

In front of Edward's house, a crowd of party invitees were already congregating there, muttering in dissatisfaction as they were forced to wait outside the house in the cold night. They had waited for almost 30 minutes now, and few had already considered leaving the place, but they didn't, considering that the one who hosted the party was the most popular kid in the country right now.

Haley commentary: "We should've never trusted him."

"What's going on!?" Finneas, who was wearing an Albert Einstein costume, asked Haley. "Why can't we go in?"

Billie, who was wearing a simple Fiona from the Shrek movie outfit, rubbed her cold shoulder with her hands. Haley looked nervous and she said, "I…Let me talk to Uncle Cam."

"That's what you said half an hour ago!" Kyle exclaimed in annoyance. The crowd murmured in dissatisfaction, and there was a hint of them turning into an angry mob.

Edward finally arrived at that time, and was confused when he saw the people waiting in front of his house. The SUV couldn't go into the driveway, so he and the girls exited the car near the street. Edward walked towards the mob there, and some people exclaimed in excitement when they saw him.

"Troy?" Edward saw a familiar face climbing on a lamp pole. Barnes Troy was startled and he slid down the pole quickly. His eyes glittered as he saw Edward and said, "Hey! It's good you're here! The Dunphy girl won't let us inside!"

"Huh? Are you sure?" Edward asked in confusion. "Let me talk to her first to see what's going on."

Barnes, who was wearing a Moses outfit, stood in the middle of the crowd and shouted using his dramatic voice, "MAKE WAYYYYY…. FOR THE CHOSEN ONE!"

The crowd neatly split into two sides, and Edward walked in the middle with disbelief. Alex and the others followed along, looking cautiously at the angry mob as they did.

As Edward was walking by, he was confused as he couldn't see some faces he expected to be there. Maggie, Vanessa, Selena, David Henrie, the cast of Waverly place, and more. He only saw the people from his highschool, which made him feel as if Troy was speaking the truth.

But if Haley was the one who did that, it didn't make sense to Edward that she was outside with them.

Edward already knew what Cam had planned, but he wasn't sure about the execution. Many of the teenagers couldn't stay as long as everyone else, which was the reason why the party was intended to start at 9 PM, but it had not yet begun by 9:30 PM. Some even needed to leave by 10 PM, which was quite unfortunate for them.

Haley's eyes lit up as she saw Edward. "Ed! Help! Uncle Cam locked us out."

"What?" Edward muttered with disbelief. Suddenly, he heard a trumpet sound bellowing.

Cam, dressed in his Willy Wonka costume, twirled his cane as he walked to the center of the crowd.

"Now that our most important guest of honor has arrived, the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory tour can begin! All of you, please follow me." He said with excitement as he stopped twirling his baton.

The crowd reacted flatly, most were irritable rather than looking forward to the show. Haley grabbed Edward's hand and muttered, "You need to stop him. I have a bad feeling about this."

However, she became confused when Edward didn't respond to her. She slowly looked up to his face, only to see him staring at her with admiring eyes. 

She blushed a bit and released her hand from him, took a step back, held her black hair braids, and twirled a bit to show off her Wednesday Addams outfit. Rather than the modest look of Wednesday, she revealed her cleavage, and wore chain link pantyhose. 

"You like what you see?" She said flirtily .

"Kinda. Yes." Edward replied. However, Haley suddenly turned fierce and annoyed, "Oh, so only Goth girls work on you?!"

Edward snapped back to reality, "Wait. What just happened?"

"Come along children!" Cam said loudly while beckoning the crowd to follow him, hiding his anxiety behind a pained smile at the same time.

"Behold, the 8th Wonders of the World, the Chocolate Factory." Cam said as we arrived at the living room. He suddenly blew a pitch pipe, and started dancing to Haley's horror.

"♫♪Gather 'round, my friends, and hear

The whispers in the air so clear

This night we enter Wonka's gate

To a world of pure imagination♫♪"

Cam used the original Oompa Loompa song rhythms to create the song. He was alone dancing with his cane when the group of Oompa Loompa/Waiters joined him.

"♫♪Oompa Loompa doompady doo,

I've got an exciting tale for you!

Oompa Loompa doompady dee,

This party's a sight for you to see!♫♪"

The teenagers there cringed at his actions. While the performance would work in some parties, Cam was wayyy out of his elements here. Not only did he do this without telling Edward, but he also planned the entire evening with his choreography and performances spread out all over it.

"♫♪The Oompa Loompas' song will play

As we dance and sing and sway

So heed their call, let sweet notes soar

Embrace the magic evermore!♫♪"

Cam noticed the crowd's reaction, and he became more nervous in his performance. He started messing up, first he dropped his cane, and then bumped into an Oompa Loompa.

"♫♪Oompa Loompa doompady doo,

I've got an exciting tale for you!

Oompa Loompa doompady dee,

This party's a sight for you to see—!♫♪"

"And done." Cam ended his show abruptly. As the Oompa Loompas were halted midway throughout their dance routine, some of them even fell down on the ground.

"Oof–" Edward exclaimed with some sympathy to the dancers. Cam laughed awkwardly and said, "E-Enjoy the party. Act 2…"

"Wait. Uncle Cam, there's more of this?" Alex asked with disbelief.

The crowd murmured, "Yeah, I can't take this a second time."

"The party sucks."

"Let's just go."

"WAIT!" Haley shouted instantly, "Uncle Cam is just leaving. There won't be any more of these things."

Kyle said, "Yeah…even so, we don't have the party… hype anymore."

Tyrone said solemnly while putting his top hat on his chest, "The fire is gone."

Selena, Kyle's girlfriend said, "Sorry Haley. We'd rather just go home and make out."

[Haley's commentary]

"It's all ruined!" She wailed desperately. "I should've never tricked Uncle Cam to handle the party! He made it all about HIM!"

"This party, has Edward's name and MY name on it! We'll be branded with the 'Sucky Party' reputation the whole year!" She continued, feeling a sense of unfairness, "He'll never lose his popularity, so I will bear the brunt of it!"

She sobs, "I will become…an ordinary girl at school. That's like…being Alex…"

[Commentary ends]

While the crowd were indecisive about going home or not, Edward suddenly walked towards Cam. Cam flinched and asked nervously, "W-What?"

"Your hat and microphone," Edward demanded. Cam took it off and gave it to him. Edward wore the top hat and demanded while fixing up the microphone on his ear and mouth, "Your jacket."

Cam took off his Willy Wonka jacket. Edward wore it, and it was oversized on him, but he still looked stylish wearing it. Edward unbuttoned his entire shirt, revealing his abs and chest to the crowd. 

"Your cane." Edward demanded again. The entire crowd was curious about him, and the excitement came back when they saw Edward 'bully' Cam.

After Edward took the cane, he suddenly said, "Your glasses."

"But I don't wear glasses." Cam replied anxiously.

Suddenly, an Oompa Loompa dancer came forward and gave Edward a pair of sunglasses. Edward wore it, and suddenly, he whistled while stomping his cane on the floor. The entire crowd was mesmerized by him, all except for Cam who has a bad feeling about this. 

[Jagwar Twin - Bad Feeling (Oompa Loompa)]

Suddenly, a catchy intro was played by Robin, and the entire Oompa Loompa dancers surrounded Edward and Cameron.

"(I got a bad feeling about you) x2." The chorus resounded through the speakers while the Oompa Loompa dancers circled around Cam while staring at him angrily.

"Oh my god, everything was part of a performance?" Barnes exclaimed with excitement. Kyle shouted, "Go ED!"

Edward bopped his head before he danced slightly while singing,"♫♪When the moon hits the sky, I'm a little unwell. 'Cause the truth is a lie that nobody can tell. Every kid on the block talks in riddles and prose. Then we dance 'til we drop, drop, drop♫♪"

"Whoa! He's so cool!" Billie muttered with glittering eyes. 

Edward suddenly went to Cam and pointed his finger at him, "♫♪Everything's perfect here, and the sun is shining♫♪"

(Hey, hey!)

"♫♪Everything's perfect here, there's nobody crying!!♫♪"

Robin exploded a few streamers, and some fireworks, which shocked Cameron. The crowd cheered explosively as the dancers danced with perfect choreography with Edward. 

♫♪Oompa Loompa, doompa-de-doo

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

♫♪Oompa Loompa, I don't know, dude

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

Edward twirled the cane while walking backwards.

♫♪Bad feeling, bad feeling♫♪

♫♪I got a bad feeling 'bout you

Bad feeling, bad feeling

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

Cam tried to run away from the center of the performance, but the dancers grabbed him.

♫♪Animals, animals, all misunderstandable

Carnivores and cannibals, I want it on demand-able

Mandible, jaw split, hit me with the gossip, gossip♫♪

Robin played a recording of Selena's voice, "(Are you fucking serious?)"

♫♪Everything's perfect here, and the sun is shining

(Hey, hey!)

Everything's perfect here, there's nobody crying♫♪

"Everyone Together!" Edward said as he raised his hand to the crowd. They scattered around the living room now instead of just staying in one place and sang together with Edward. 

♫♪Oompa Loompa, doompa-de-doo

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

♫♪Oompa Loompa, I don't know, dude

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

♫♪Bad feeling, bad feeling

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

♫♪Bad feeling, bad feeling

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

The Oompa Loompas held their hands together as they jumped around Cam. 

[Cam's commentary]

"Why is he doing this to me?"

[Commentary ends]

"♫♪Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na♫♪"

Enid snapped a lot of pictures of the shirtless Edward while he danced. 

Edward grabbed Haley's hand, and made her join him, "♫♪Everything's perfect here, and the sun is shining♫♪

"♫♪Everything's perfect here, there's nobody CRYIIIIINNGGGG!!!!!♫♪"

The entire crowd joined in to dance with him, while the Oompa Loompas picked Cam up to the air.

"AHHH! Put me down!" Cam shrieked.

"♫♪Oompa Loompa, doompa-de-doo

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪" 

Everyone sang together as they pointed their hands at Cam.

[Cam's commentary]

"I thought I had survived High School, and wouldn't get any more traumas…I was wrong."

[Commentary ends]

♫♪Oompa Loompa, I don't know, dude

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪

The Oompa Loompas brought Cam to the pool, and the crowd followed them.

"NO! NO!!" Cam struggled to get off, but 8 guys were holding him up in the air.

"♫♪Bad feeling, bad feeling

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪"

They threw him to the pool, and the entire crowd cheered!

"♫♪Bad feeling, bad feeling

I got a bad feeling 'bout you♫♪"

"♫♪It's true♫♪"

The crowd clapped and cheered thunderously after the song was over. Edward continued playing dance songs while he went to fish Cam out of the pool.

"Sorry. I had to do that to save the party." He apologized to Cam.

Haley muttered, "But, you also kinda deserve it." 

Cam almost cried, but he held himself back, looked up in the sky to prevent his tears from falling down, "I'll let you keep the costume. *Sobs*" Then, he walked to his car miserably.

"I kinda feel bad." Edward muttered sympathetically before Haley grabbed his hand and said, "H-He deserves it! Let's join the party!"