UNFULFILLED.

I dare to dream greatly; I dare to fail greatly, I dare to tolerate the ashes of my unfulfilled dreams, for I may dream again. I dare not tolerate the ashes of my unfulfilled life, for I may never live again.

Philippos Syrigos.

Derek's Pov.

I put some more water in her freezer which was unusually large for someone who lived in on their own and was no hunter or butcher. Adora's scent was much stronger now and I was beginning to feel a little hot even though the ac was on. I took off my shirt, deciding to go for a run before things went out of my control.

I shifted outside of her front porch after locking her door and decided it would be a good idea to familiarize even further with her living grounds first, I took off in the side of the forest, taking in every little detail that I passed by, I noted that she was the only one who lived around here seeing as there was no other sign of hanimal or werewolf life anywhere, It was a truly magnificent but quiet place, there were rows and rows of trees everywhere and from the look of things she didn't have any specific path that she used when she went for a run.

My mind wandered back to five years ago, when we were still teenagers and it was just against the whole world, we were happier and freer back then, I thought back to when I used to let her run ahead of me, leaving me behind to admire just how beautiful my mate was, Her white fur had always been glorious, matching perfectly with my dark grey one, we would chase each other around, wagging our tails happily when we played tag, or when we were being affectionate with each other, She had turned the big bad wolf into happy mush and I... I on the hand had failed in taking care of her.

The woods were quiet, with only the hushes of the wind and the whistling of birds to be heard everywhere, she was safe here. I spotted a stream on one of my rounds and decided to go have a sip of water before I left for her house, hopefully she was doing much better now, The blue green waters reflected my appearance and my wolf whimpered at its sight, my empty grey eyes stared back at me, mocking me for what I had done, This was not how it was supposed to be, I didn't belong here, I didn't have to take care of her, then why was I doing so?

My wolf whimpered sadly at my thoughts, but even he knew I was right, she didn't deserve me taking care of her, hadn't I already been lenient enough by bringing her home safely and attending to her? This was more than what I had expected to do for her when we came here, but then why was I still here, in her territory and thinking of her, I didn't pull Cullen away from his mate for this, she could very well take care of herself or find another person to do it for her, but I was heading back home. where I was truly needed.

I ran back to the house, shifting at her porch again before unlocking the door and getting in, her scent had become much stronger now that I could almost taste it. I tried to hold my breath in, maintaining the little control hat I still had left, before making my way upstairs to inform her of my departure and the extra ice in her freezer.

"Adora!" I exclaimed in shock when I saw her standing half naked by her bedroom cabinets, what the fuck! was happening, I thought she had been too weak to even move.

"Oh Derek, hi, I thought you left already." she rasped out in a husky voice, acting as if this was nothing other than a normal occurrence, her body was still dripping wet which meant she had just come out of the shower, She bent down slightly to reach her bottom drawer and I looked away, Ignoring the raging hard on that I now had and the now hot temperature of the room, I heard her draw open and close, and almost forgot what I had come to do here.

Just then I caught a whiff of a familiar strange scent in the air, "Wolfsbane?" I asked myself as I sniffed it some more jus to be sure, even though the strong scent of arousal made it harder to decipher what it was, I decided to inform Adora of what I had just smelt, taking in a deep shaky breath before turning to look her way, and what I saw made my skin crawl with anger.

Sat on the floor was Adora and in her shaky hands was a small glass bottle of purple liquid that she was trying so hard to open but her shaky hands wouldn't allow her, I rushed to where she was, snatching the bottle out of her lose grip and smashing it down hard, breaking the glass out and watched as its poisonous purple content flowed out oof the bottle.

I felt the sting of her slap but even before I could process it, she was already hitting me, hard, on every part of my body, I was furious at her, was she trying to kill herself? Was this what her pathetic life had amounted to, suicide? I grabbed her roughly by her shoulders and lifted her chin to look at me, I was beyond myself with anger, even though I didn't want to care, "If you want to kill yourself, then you do it when I am no longer in your premises." I seethed at her, before letting her go, causing her to tumble backwards a little bit."

"Kill myself?" She repeated, letting out a dark chuckle before continuing, "We both know wolfsbane doesn't work that way on me, otherwise I would have been long dead by now, wouldn't I Derek?" She asked cynically, attempting to re-open an old wound that had already healed, I was not going to remember that day, the day I had failed as a man, a father and a mate, She didn't have that position in my life anymore, I turned to leave, this was not my mess after all, if she wanted to die slowly and painfully then so be it.

"I just can't take it anymore Derek, ok?" She spoke out quietly, but I didn't stop, "I don't want to feel like this, it hurts so much, and I ... I ... I can't control it, I don't know how to, I can't ask anyone to have sex with me, I mean, I don't even remember what sex feels like, and with no candidate in mind, that is not an option, but wolfsbane, it would shift all this sexual hunger and desperateness away, I wouldn't be craving for what I can no longer have because I would be in too much pain to even recognize what's going on, you don't understand how I'm feeling right now, I......|"

"You want to experience that again Adora?" I asked, stopping on my tracks, slightly shocked at the way she perceived things, had she already forgotten how it had been the last time she had ingested that thing, I mean sure she wouldn't die from it, but her pain that day had been far worse than death itself, I had been a witness to that, and I wasn't going to be one in this, not again.

"I know how to handle pain" She answered quietly, and I nodded, seems like her mind was already made up "Is this what you always do whenever you are in heat then?" I asked her, slightly afraid of her answer, her face scrunched up in confusion as she looked up at me, "Derek, this is the first time I've been on heat ever since I left." She answered slightly confused at my question, I was surprised at her answer, was that normal? How was that even possible, I had never heard of a situation like that, what was I not informed about.

"I think you triggered it," she said jokingly, but I didn't find any of it funny, we were no longer connected with each other, so why was her heat affecting me this much? and why had it only begun now just after we'd met, or was I just over thinking this shit? ....

"I'll be taking my leave now, be safe, " she nodded at me, before whispering a thank you and offering me a small smile, I watched her move weakly to her cabinet again, and I closed my eyes at the thought of what she'd gone to get, "It's none of your concern Derek" I assured myself repeatedly, but I still couldn't get the image of her in our bed, frothing at the mouth, with a bleeding nose, a swollen stomach and legs, covered in sweat and silently crying Four years ago, I couldn't let her go through that, not again.

"I want to fuck you." I blurted out, making her stop in her tracks and turn around slowly to face me and stared at me with wide eyes as if I had just grown another head,

"Wh..wha...what?" She stammered, seeming unsure of what she'd just heard, I smirked as I strutted forward to where she was, turning her round and taking her beautiful plump lips in my own for a small kiss and pulled away before things got heated.

"No, Derek you don't understand, if this is about the wolfsbane......"

"No attachments" I interrupted her, pulling her even closer to me, "it's either me or that poison, and I'm pretty confident I will fuck you better." She mirrored my smirk with her own cheeky one, as she stared at me with dilated dark eyes full of sexual desire,

"No fucking attachments," She affirmed, leaning in this time, I captured her lips in mine, devouring them hungrily as I threw out all aspects of self-control and clarity of mind that I still had left.