Chapter 17

"What's really on your mind, Angel?"

I beg anyone not to participate in laughing at me like fate may be laughing at me right now. My mother just saw the literary assignment I was working on on the laptop, she was furious and approached me who was eating my food quietly. Come on.

"I chose it because I really want to pursue my dream of becoming a writer—" my mother cut me off again.

"You won't get anything by taking that major just to be a writer. Didn't mom tell you to take a major that's more convincing for you to get a decent job after graduation? Why don't you listen to mom, huh?"

I'm speechless if it's like that, I close my eyes tightly while squeezing the ends of my pajama cloth slowly.

"Mom, informatics engineering or psychology is not an easy thing for me. Again, the price is—" why does my mother like to cut off my unfinished words?

"Did mom ever say about the cost? You just need to learn, Angel. If you feel you can't, then push yourself, it's also for the good of your future."

Mom always talks about my future interests, doesn't she glance at my mentality for a bit? Whereas before my father died, she never demanded that I walk according to her will.

"I know, mom. But this time can you let me achieve what I want? I will try not to disappoint you with the results I will get in the end."

I heard a harsh sigh from my mother, I felt guilty for disappointing her again. But, if I'm on a path I don't want at all, wouldn't that be the same as burying my own dreams and preferring to play someone's artificial role to continue living?

"It's up to you, mom can only say that your blessing is not on the path you choose. Do your best, don't ask mom to intervene on the path you choose. Isn't that what you want?"

Indirectly, my mother said that I had to be independent, I had to find my own money to pay for my semester tuition. Wait, but what should I do? I don't even feel like I have any talent other than to trouble my mother.

Mom got up and walked to her room without even looking at me. Good, please don't look away because I think the clear liquid that pooled in the corner of my eye will fall.

I couldn't hold it in anymore, the tears managed to fall, I felt thrown away even though I didn't leave this place. The reason I looked down even when I was talking to mom just now was because I didn't want her to see another side of me that turned out to be weak. Not only to mom, but I'm also afraid to show it to the world, let them think that I am the happiest person alive on this earth because of my smile that never fades, don't forget the jokes that I sometimes broadcast to just create laughter from my friends.

I thought it wouldn't hurt this much, in fact my chest was so tight that I hit it repeatedly. I just felt isolated.

My tears fall even harder as I remember Leo's alma mater which I still can't return tomorrow. God, please save me tomorrow, I don't want to get curses from that man which will only make my chest tighter. His words were too spicy, not much different from my mother's.

-

A little gratitude from me because today there are no signs of getting better at all. It was not in vain that I got up early in the morning just to wash and dry Leo's alma mater again. Don't forget to take a picture as proof that I am really responsible for the small mistake I accidentally made and harmed his alma mater.

My other habit in the morning also doesn't forget to make food's boxes for Alaska, I always hope that he eats it even if it's just a little, in fact he prefers to throw it into the Sampang barrel or give it to Jack rather than eat it. Too bad for me.

I've arrived at my faculty building, finished putting the food into Alaska's locker, I went to find the man's whereabouts to give him his jacket which he had worn to keep my body warm. Uh, so romantic, he doesn't talk much but proves everything through his actions. Very lucky girl who will become his girlfriend later, of course it was me.

Step by step my feet intertwined around the faculty corridor, I haven't found Alaska's presence. There's no way he'd be late, right?

I turned my head back, exploring every corner I might have missed, and sure enough, I found Alaska's presence copying a book from a book onto his laptop. The sunglasses perched on his nose made my heart work faster again. Why does this man look so happy to tease my heart?

My smile widened as I walked towards him, I was almost there but I found Chelsy sitting next to the man with her sweet smile. I saw that she was ignored, just like me, but at least the girl I think is smarter in building a conversation between the two of them even though Alaska replied curtly.

"Good morning!" I managed to attract the attention of both of them with my shriek that was quite excited. Chelsy immediately got up from there, she looked at me warily and made me confused because of it.

"H-hi Angel, it's good you're not late today. Erm, I'm going to class first, okay?" Without waiting for an answer from me, she just walked away leaving me and Alaska. What's wrong with her?

"Why her?" I asked the man who was still busy beside me. He only answered with a nonchalant shrug. My hand immediately handed a paper containing Alaska's jacket to the owner. His movements stopped for a moment, he looked at me which made my heart performance even more abnormal, he grabbed the paper and checked it.

"Thanks for covering me with that." I said thank you. The meaning of my thanks is not only because of that, but because he was the one who managed to make thousands of butterflies perch on my stomach.

"Hm," he just cleared his throat, what a handsome refrigerator!

"Hey cat poop!"

I was surprised to hear that, I think the cry managed to make Alaska turn his gaze towards a man who was already in front of us. Damn, it's Leo! And—what did he say?! Cat poop?!