Chapter 19

Since my father's passing, I have never again felt what it feels like to be loved by a man, how it feels to tell them when I feel sad. Not anymore, now I can only keep it to myself. Tell my mom? Seriously, maybe after telling the story he would just interrogate me by saying.

"What are you tired of? You haven't worked yet, just busy studying and spending money."

Her words only always hurt me, sometimes I tried to avoid looking at her, but still she seemed to think I was a child who had no sense of courtesy.

Today I went home with half soul, I was tired physically and mentally. Leo, that man never stopped waving the war flag after flattening my car tire, of course I was furious, lucky Chelsy took me home and my car was also at the repair shop, maybe this afternoon I will pick it up.

Just be careful, after the alma mater returns to his hands, I will participate in raising the war flag. Who does he think he is? I'm not afraid of him at all, even though he's a man.

"I'm home," my tone sounded sluggish, a little more lethargic because I found my mother's motorbike was already in front.

The woman was busy with her laptop before I arrived, but now that all her attention is on me, she looks at me with a piercing gaze as if cornering me in a corner.

"Where's your car? I didn't hear the engine at all."

Could she not have brought it up first? I'm really tired, I want to throw my body to lie down on the bed. It's getting late, and I have to pick up my car to drop off Leo's damn alma mater.

"In the workshop," my voice still languid, my feet moving up the floor tiles, almost reaching the steps, "broken again?"

"Just deflated," I answered simply, hoping he wouldn't ask again.

"How did it get deflated? You used it to roam around?"

As expected, my expectations must always be wrong with my expectations. All right, forget my guess, now I just need to prepare the right answer with patience, because I don't think the woman will stop asking until she is satisfied with scolding me.

"The tire accidentally went through a sharp nail in the parking lot—"

"There's no way in the campus parking area there are nails, the guards must not be that careless to guard the parking area, don't lie to mom, Angel."

I swear, if today mom scolds me again until my heart feels scratched, then the first person who will be my outlet is Leo. The man must also feel what I feel, even more than that.

"I'm not lying mom, what's the use?" Yeah, what's the point of me lying? Has he been judging me as a naughty woman? If that's true, mom is really mean to me.

"Who knows? I didn't watch you twenty-four hours."

I closed my eyes, my hand clenched into a fist. I miss the attitude my mother used to have, when my father was still around.

"Then watch over me, stop all the busyness of you and just start focusing on me."

She removed the glasses perched on her nose, I don't care if my words irritate her, I'm much more upset than that. The sharp gleam of her eyes swept towards me, this time I didn't take my eyes off her one bit. Now, we really look like enemies.

"Are you crazy? Where do you think you can get everything you want right now if it's not for me!"

Every time I hold back my anger, for some reason my tears always feel compelled to jump in and create saplings under my eyes. I can only look up while sighing roughly, I don't want to cry, don't want to look weak in front of my mother.

I'm not sad, I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm just angry!

"Don't worry, I'll find a part-time job to support myself. That way, you don't have to spend twice as much time with work, right?"

After saying that, I felt small drops fall from my eyelids. Whether mom saw it or not, all I knew was that I walked quickly from there and ignored the woman's call to me.

The first thing that became my vent was my bedroom door, sorry for that, but my anger lessened a bit after I slammed it. I literally plopped down on the bed, not caring how much water flowed from my eyes like rain.

Universe please answer my one question, if indeed after losing someone it will be replaced with someone who will bring happiness, why didn't that happen to me? Why did you take my dad and make me feel doubly empty from losing mom's warmth after?

I don't hate my destiny, it won't happen, whatever it is I will still accept it. Because, isn't that part of me too?

-

Author POV

Actually, Alaska doesn't need to bother spending time just to check the engine of his father's car. However, because he is an obedient child, he doesn't like to argue, especially with his father, Alaska prefers to follow his father's request, who is very possessive of his four-wheeled object.

"Didn't your father ever get tired of hearing that his car's engine was fine? Every month he always told you to check it." The mechanic chuckled while shaking his head, Alaska could only smile a little in response to the mechanic's words.

"Everything's fine, right, uncle?"

"Yeah, next time I'll tell your father not to force you to bring him here again. I can see the annoyed look on your face."

This time Alaska chuckled, he immediately reached into his pants pocket, intending to give two bills to his father's favorite mechanic uncle.

"Eh, don't worry, I was just checking it, not fixing it." Alaska nodded, he pulled back the two sheets of paper and replaced them with the food his mother cooked. Alaska had understood, the mechanic's uncle always didn't want to accept him, so his mother always told him to exchange the money for food.

"It's from mom, uncle." The smile of the man who was almost half a century old broke, he grabbed the food box with a happy face.

"Thank you, pass it on to—"

"How can it be like that, two weeks ago sticking tires didn't cost that much, now it's just gone up. Come on uncle, I have to save money."

Their gazes immediately turned to a girl who was having a small argument with one of the mechanics there. Alaska frowned when he realized that the girl was Angel.