5

Nnamdi

Daniel's eyes were gloomy when he invited me to his home. The way his palms gripped my arms and pleaded with me was what kept me awake at night, he makes me worry about him and at the same time I feel so nervous and cautious each time am with him, I was scared of him reacting or even grabbing my clothes and punching me on the face, he looked like someone who would do that.

But, I didn't care, I wanted to be close with him, I hope that he would open up his pains to me, I will hold his big palms and pray for him and preach to him how Jesus will give an infinite joy, if only he wanted to hear words like that.

On Saturday, I met with Grace, we just started dating, we met in choir practice and we became tight friends. She had a bigger eyes, that moved everywhere with bigger lips that talked every time, she talked more than she listens, she knew how to make me laugh and that was my sole reason for liking her, she drops by my house every Saturday and we will just end up kissing, but this Saturday she grabbed my hands and forced them down her hole, she wore skirts and I just have to shift her panties and do her will, she was so wet and moaning loudly, when my fingers did some dance on it, it was my first time and I didn't know if I should like it or not, but since she did, maybe next time we will do that again, she could grow suspicious of us.

"I love you " she told me after we were done

" I love you too" I smiled, pecking her. She went home on time because she didn't want her my mother seeing us both alone in the house, even if we weren't doing anything.

The next day, I searched for Daniel with my eyes in the church, he wasn't here, if he was, he would stand out because of how broad and tall he was. When I saw Mrs. Felicia she complained to me how Daniel has ignored her and refused to go to church, I just wasn't surprised because that was so him.

I wanted to hurry up to his house that afternoon after I had made lunch but mum had me peeling the cassava my Grandma had gifted her, It was better because I didn't want to come so early and weird him out, he has given me an opportunity so I should use it carefully, it was already evening before I was done peeling the cassava with mum, I dressed up and headed out. His street was not that far from my home, I had to walk there.

He was in the sitting room when I came in, he looked so at home with his navy blue shorts and white singlets, I noticed that his muscles were okay, not too much, but okay. Ezinne was so excited to see me, but he wasn't, it didn't even look like he had invited me, it looked as if I was bothering him for coming over, he was looking away and when he glanced at me, I caught a glimpse of gratitude, but it timidly looked downwards when it caught up with me, he was snobbishly kind and I can deal with that.

"What should I offer you?" Ezinne asked

"Nothing is fine" I declined

"Just take drink. This is the first time and you don't want to take anything " she kept on insisting

" Ezinne, don't worry about it, we are heading out now" Daniel interrupted, he suddenly went inside and changed into a black sport wear,

He didn't even have to call me before I stood up and followed blindly, I didn't even trust him that much but I followed up, we didn't say a word to each till we reached the Field, it was a football Field, large spaced, and a goal post at each edges, the men playing football were huge and scary, some of the guys hid themselves somewhere around the edges smoking weed, that was the kind of people Daniel hang out with.

He shook and greeted everyone, not caring to introduce me to anyone of them I had to shake them too and introduce myself as his friend,

"Are you coming to play?" He inquired, I didn't want to think about it, but he looked cool and sweet when he acts like this.

I pulled off my polo and dashed into the fields with him, I played because it was fun, he played with all seriousness and played so well, I just tried my best.

By the time we were done, it was dark, the group of men gathered at the trunk of the car, drinking and smoking weed, they chatted loudly, laughing and play punching themselves, I laughed at the series of jokes which all seems to be women joke, Daniel drank silently and deeply from the beer bottle and smoked the weed as it passed between them, he smiled only to the joke he found funny and I saved his face in my memory because I might not get to see him smile again and he was stunning with that face,My chest constricted watching him, I looked away when he glanced at me.

It became just us, when the men dispensed, some were already married and used that as an excuse to leave the party till all were gone. Daniel and I stayed silent for a while, he didn't want to leave yet, do we leaned against the old car trunk, it seems like the owner had abandoned the car, because it was old and dusty,

" I didn't see you in church today"

" I was tired" it took awhile for him to answer, he threw the Remaining blunt of weed and matched it.

" I was looking for you" I boldly watched him

For a while our eyes held each other, his eyes were filled with detest and maybe a deep fondness for me, I wondered what he thought about me?

"Come next Sunday " I pleaded

"No" he replied quickly,

What actually was wrong him?, why was he like that with me?, does he have bad dreams about me?, his shoulders slumped and he stood straight on the trunk, staring at the ground, he looked alone and his pain were all over his face, my palms stretched out and tightened on his slumped shoulders, I didn't think when I did that, it just came with the moment,

"Bro, what's wrong?" I couldn't help asking

He turned away from my palms as if I had burnt him, my palms fell roughly and it took all my energy not to get so angry, This man was something else, he was a psycho,

" I'm sorry " he said suddenly, I forgave him suddenly because he looked sincere and I knew how hard it was for him to say that, but I won't refute the fact that he was psycho.

He drew close suddenly, sliding his hands around my shoulders, he was so tall that he had to bent his head and stuck them to my neck, his nose were touching my neck and he deeply but roughly smelled me. I didn't want to do anything about this, this was the closest he has ever gotten to me and I didn't want to do anything that would push him away instead I bared my neck for him the more and allowed him to breathe me in, he smelled of weed, beer and some musky smell, maybe he was high, that was the only thing that could give the courage to do this. I just hoped it was so dark and hidden, because nobody will understand these intimate behaviors between two Men.

He breathed me in as if he had been waiting to do that for so long, I could hear his heavy breathing and a sudden weird noise that followed suit, my belly churned and my chest constricted so much that I wanted more of that feeling. He pulled away hesitantly and as we walked home, he dreaded making eye contact with me even when he asked for my mobile line, he walked me home, nodded gently at my goodbyes and left quickly for home.