7

Daniel

I hated being rejected, a sharp feeling of anger overwhelmed me when Nnamdi texted me that he wasn't always going to be hanging out with me. Although I didn't mean to ignore him, I kinda prefer it that way. When he came over, I gave him the cold shoulders, my anger for him had no reason apart from the fact that I needed his spirits to feel warm again, one day, I promise to pour my hearts to him and I knew he was someone who would listen with keen interest on his face as he listened to my craps,

I was furious and vengeful towards him, for making me feel this good, I hated that he was the one, I wanted it to be Susan, Leah or any one of my hook ups. But I was shocked at myself for taking my ruthless thoughts too far and pushing him hard, I really wanted to help him up but I couldn't, I regretted my actions but found it hard to show them in my actions.

For a while, I couldn't think straight or concentrate on the football games, I felt like I was choking, I needed to get something off my chest, I was stuck with the reality of him leaving and never coming back so I had to stop playing for a while and run to him.

I felt his anger when I came over but it dissolved when I apologized, a look of worry and care appeared in his eyes, I loved his cheap perfume, it smell of sweets. I told him to wait as I rushed to get him pain relief medicine, food and water to take them, then cotton wool and plaster to at least cover up the injury till he gets home. I have never done this for anyone but here I am doing it for a man, these are things we do for women, but friends do that too right?

I watched him greedily swallow the boiled rice and stew, his neck were so elegant and fair, when he raised his head to drink from the bottle and when he groaned from the coldness of the water I poured on his knees, my insides burned and all I want to do was bit and suck those white neck and hope he makes that sounds,

I was crazy, why will I ever think of a man's rough neck as elegant and wanting to bite them? All these stupid thoughts were the reason I was so vengeful.

Few minutes later,after I dropped him off that night, he texted me that his mother was paranoid, she had been scared and furious that he was late and wasn't picking up her call, I didn't care to reply him, all I wanted to do was remind his mother that he was a grown man and shouldn't be treated like a child.

I decided to stay in this city for a while, I was beginning to love it, I bought a black Toyota Corolla car, I was tired of Taxis or walking home. I sent the car's picture to Nnamdi wanting to engage him on the chatting apps which had been his ritual, if he had a hectic day or a cool day with his boss, he would text me about it " I wish there was something I could do, why not resign? I texted one of the times he fought with his boss,

He sent a laughing sticker, then messaged again "And spend my time looking for another paint studio, if only they will accept me"

" there are other important jobs" i hope I wasn't being too harsh

A sad emoji appeared on my phone " my job might not be important but painting means the world to me"

He had a passion for something but I didn't, I only cared about football and weed. When I showed him my car, he sent a kissing baby sticker and a love emoji, "it's so beautiful, I want to try riding it"

I smiled on my bed and to the darkness, I loved that he liked it, "I will let you ride if you are early enough on Sunday" I messaged back and he sent kisses emoji, my heart swelled at them.

On Sunday I was so excited to go to church but I was late. He looked so perfect in his choir uniform when he sang the "Amazing grace ", it made me warm and think of his cheap perfume.

He didn't bother to look for me or greet me after church, when I scanned the church zone for him, I saw him in a deep excited chat with a lady who had the same uniform with him, he looked like he was enjoying the conversation because he looked so eased and cheerful with her, unlike when we were together. He was more cautious.

I killed the hope of seeing him and drove home.