Her

"Girl have you heard?!"

An exasperated Za'Cari busted into my room. I was currently finishing up some prep flashcards for Human Anatomy when she sent my heart into a frenzy.

"Am I that sensitive to sound or are you just really frightening?"

She rolled her eyes, "No jit...focus. Have you heard?"

"No nigro, I haven't! What is it? I'm studying, hello!" I griped, thinking of a way to remember where the midsagittal plane is on the human body.

She huffed, marching to my desk and shoved my hand causing me to mess up the word divide on my notecard.

"CARI!"

She rolled her eyes, "This is important information...just as important as homework. Now would you give me a second of your time?"

"You have my attention. What is it?" I asked, focusing on her.

A smile broke out on her face to show her satisfaction before her face became somber.

"She's back in town."

Who's She you might ask?

She is my infamous, treacherously beautiful ex who broke my big heart into small little pieces. My first everything. My first love - whatever love meant to me at the time - she definitely did a number. Mom believes that she meant nothing but I am sure that my big heart felt every punch. However, who am I to blame her...she was just as fucked up as I am and no I am not talking about my mom (...although she's fucked up, too). Anyways, the game plan is to keep it pushing. Ain't no question it'll be natural to give in but I refuse. I can't be that easy.

"You think she'll try and come and talk to me after all these years?"

"Of course! Contrary to your belief, she fell for you. It may have years later but she felt that shit. Years too late, duh, but don't forget you fell out while she was falling in so she's hoping."

I felt my tear ducts tingle a little but the tears never came. I refuse. All the wasted tears.

"Well, in any case, she needs to get over herself 'cause I am done."

"Are you sure forreal this time?"

"Art. Art makes this time different."

Za'Cari peered into my eyes, searching, but said nothing to validate me and turned back to her music sheet. She was currently studying for her recital; she is magnificent on the piano.

Understandably enough, I was a sucker but I can't possibly wanna be under those conditions again.

Would I?

Of course I am done, I know better now. I love myself more than I love her. I've finally chosen myself.

"If she decides," I started, gaining Cari's attention again, "to talk to me. I'll be polite."

"Atta girl."

Laying down on the cool grass under the Florida sun, I sighed, sinking deeper into my high. The Sun was cooking me real good; my skin hot but I'm not afraid to be smoked.

"You can get sunburn, too, y'know." A familiar voice from above stated, shadowing the Sun.

Opening my eyes, meeting her big brown eyes, "How did you know I was finally here?"

"Your location."

"You know I can get a restraining order on you for stalking?"

"But you won't, right?"

"Maybe not but you have to stop popping up on me. It's a bit ridiculous and it's becoming too much."

"But I needed to see you. I missed you."

"Of course you did, ex communicado."

She laughed but she knew I was serious.

"I wanna try and be friends again."

"We cannot be friends because you are incapable."

"Incapable? What does that mean?"

"Yes, incapable. Unable to."

"I am capable. This time."

"You hate when I call you a manipulator but sheesh I see you can't hide it well anymore."

"You know what! You aren't perfect, Scorpio."

"Never tried. You made me like this, remember...or did you forget?"

"Y-"

"I am not going to argue with you. You lied and have always lied to me. I rather you not lie to me again. That's the God honest truth. So please."

"I thought you loved me and you promised me that you'd never leave me."

"I do love you...that will never change. However, if staying with you means I have to lose my sanity and my joy I refuse."

"So this is it?"

"Honestly, I tried and I couldn't. I am sorry I couldn't try anymore but you'll have to try with some else."

Afterwards, we just laid in silence until she got up and left.