Soon enough

12/29/2023

8:00 PM

Dear Diary,

Why does it feel like everything I do is never enough?

Everyone has a vision for me, but I rather smoke my weed and make up stories...maybe even attend a few parties here and there. I didn't ask to be the oldest, nor did I ask to be the one to lead everyone into paradise.

I told my mom and aunts what happened with grandpa, and they weren't even surprised. I could hear the past hurt and pain as they ranted about how I should have handled our conversation, but I couldn't do anything more than listen.

Can you believe I am in competition with people who attended my grandma's funeral? The people I call my own family.

Spilling secrets that aren't theirs to spill.

God knows my heart and how I want to treat these folks, but I don't even have the energy. I stayed in bed today...couldn't even bring myself to get out of the funk I was in.

His comments shook me to the core, and I did nothing but wallow.