12

"Jiminssi?" Jungkook asked the next morning waking up alone in Jimin's bed. "Jiminssi?!" Jungkook asked as loud as his voice would go, but it was still not enough for Jimin to hear him.

Jungkook acted like a child and started tearing up as if his mother left him alone in a public park. He felt abandoned and alone when Jimin was literally just making coffee in the kitchen.

"Jimin!" Jungkook's bottom lip started to shake in his cute pout while he got up. He nearly fell from the sharp pain in his buttocks which unless he drinks painkillers every few hours hurt so bad he can't even walk. After three steps he did fall nearly tearing one of the stitches, he already tore two but Chaeryoung said it was fine and that he should go back to the hospital once he tore at least five.

"Ah!" He fucking did it... Jungkook fucking did it.

When he felt the sharp pain and fell he fucking managed to moan, loudly. Loud enough so that Jimin could hear it from the kitchen. Of course he instantly dropped what he was doing and ran over to his bedroom.

"Jungkook-ah!" Jimin yelled and ran over to him to check if he was alright. "I'm fine hyung, it just hurts so bad..." Jimin hated it when Jungkook called him 'hyung'.... At first he got annoyed that Jungkook would only call him 'Jiminssi' but whenever Jungkook called him 'hyung' it was because something hurt. Wether emotionally or physically, it still hurt.

"What happened my love?" Jimin went back to his soft whispers for Jungkook and then saw Jungkook's teary eyes and got even more concerned. "You left me! You know I don't like it when you do that jiminssi! It's your fault, if you had stayed with me I wouldn't have needed to get up!" Jungkook's whispers where still just that... whispers.

"I'm so sorry... I didnt think you'd wake up this early on a weekend, I just went to go make me some coffee..." Jimin explained taking every word to heart, though Jungkook didn't mean it Jimin still believed it. "I'm sorry, are you okey now, Googie?" Jimin asked gently cupping Jungkook's cheeks and stroking his hair behind his ear. "Will you please help me up and get me my painkillers?" Jungkook's pout made Jimin feel so guilty. And of course he helped the younger get up and he hurried to the kitchen to get his medicine.

"Will you get on your stomach for me?" Jimin asked after giving Jungkook his painkillers. "No! I don't like it!" Jungkook protested knowing Jimin wanted to poke around his butt. "Look, Chaeryoung said that I needed to check it at least twice a day, I've only been doing it once a day! It's just to make sure it's healing properly. Its either me or Doctor Song." Jimin explained knowing Jungkook would rather have him check his stitches then Doctor Song.

"Just to be clear I hate you for making me do this." Jungkook said while turning onto his stomach, "I know you're embarrassed but it's just me! How come you never have a problem when we take baths or shower?" Jimin asked while pulling Jungkook's pants down, he was a little confused to why Jungkook slept with them on in the first place. He always slept naked.

"Because you're not touching my very sensitive-once-raped butthole! It's called PTSD, I think I have a right to be embarrassed.... " Jungkook nearly scolded at Jimin who was now checking if any other stitches got broken.

"I wont fuck your butt jungkook-ah, I'm just here to help. I really appreciate how thankful you are." Jimin rolled his eyes mumbling the last part. "I know you won't hurt me.... I'm just so ashamed... I feel like a whore after what happened, and now my best friend is touching me... I'm just a disgusting slut... I don't deserve your help..."

Jungkook really viewed himself as a disgusting slut after being violated and forced into submission... Getting raped can do a lot to your mind...

"Disgusting slut? Disgusting slut?!! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!! " Jimin got so upset at Jungkook's comments about himself that he actually yelled at him. He did something he swore he'd never do again.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please stop!"Jungkook's voice was soft but his sobs were loud. He grabbed onto the pillow he was holding onto and loudly sobbed into it trying to hide his cries. "Please stop hyung. Sob, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset!" Jungkook's sobs somehow got louder and louder and he started gasping for air, we all know what happens next. Boom panic attack! That was easy😶

"YOU DIDNT MEAN TO FUCKING UPSET ME?!!" Jimin still hadn't stopped yelling while he yanked Jungkook's shoulder so he would get on his back again. "YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING SLUT DO YOU HEAR ME?!! YOU GOT RAPED, YOU WERE VIOLATED HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING BLAMING YOURSELF?!!" Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the shoulders and yelled right in his face.

Right as Jimin finished Jungkook's sobbing body fainted right below Jimin.

It was like a nightmare. It happened so fucking fast. He had done the thing he feared the most. All Jimin could do was sit there, one leg on each side of Jungkook's waist. He silently cried over Jungkook's dead looking body, his tears falling down and onto Jungkook's cheeks that are already stained with his own tears. Jimin just kept staring at Jungkook, he didn't sob, he didn't scream. He just stared at Jungkook while he cried easily a gallon of tears. His face as unreadable as a doctor's handwriting. It was dark, cold, no emotions was shown. Mind just as blank as an unused sheet of paper. He stayed that way for so long.... It was only when Jungkook softly whimpered slowly waking up when he snapped back into reality. And he did what he thought would be better for both of them. And he removed Jungkook's pants and through it on the floor. He wasn't wearing a shirt or underwear so he was now completely naked. Jimin wiped away the tears on his own face and played down next to Jungkook. Getting in underneath the covers he covered Jungkook's legs as well but made it look like he hadn't woken up yet. Once Jungkook woke up it was like he woke up from a bad dream. Jimin pretended to sleep beside him. Back facing Jungkook so that no traces of awareness was visible. Once Jungkook woke up he looked around to see the sun had risen and it was exactly 8:30 A. M on the alarm clock. Jimin accomplished what he wanted to do and Jungkook assumed he had another bad dream. It wasn't unbelievable, in fact this happened to Jungkook quite often. So he followed routine and woke Jimin up.

"Hyung... wake up please.... I had a really bad dream, I'm scared..." Jungkook pleaded for Jimin to wake up unaware that he was already awake. Jungkook rapped his arms around Jimin and started to spoon him. He decided that he'd let Jimin sleep while he just cuddled into Jimin's neck, taking in that sweet, intoxicating scent.

Jimin was a brilliant actor and pretended to just wake up. "Jungkookie? You okey baby bunny?" Jimin asked with the best sleepy voice he had. "I had a bad dream..." Jungkook whispered into Jimin's ear sending a series of goosebumps into his spine.

"Mmm, do you want some hot chocolate?" Jimin offered but Jungkook just whispered "I want you..."

"OH MY FUCK NOW ISNT THE THE TIME GO AWAY!!!" Jimin screamed at himself in his head while he noticed his dick begin to become hard.... Seriously Jimin? Now? Really??

"W-what do you mean?" Jimin stuttered with the dirtiest thing in mind. *Inhales deeply* NOW ISNT THE FUCKING TIME PARK FREAKING JIMIN.

"Turn around..." Jungkook demanded cutely wanting to sleep on Jimin's chest, Jimin turned around and Jungkook immediately placed his on his chest. Before Jimin could even lay down comfortably.

"What got you this needy?" Jimin pretended to giggle hiding tears. "I had a bad dream... at first it was really good, you were helping me take a bath and you said you lov- nevermind that part," Jimin's eyes spilled tears once again. Jungkook really thought his love confession was a dream. "But then it turned really bad and you yelled at me! How dare you?!" Jungkook stuffed his face into Jimin's chest being dramatic. "It was just a dream silly, I would never yell at you." Jimin lied and kept acting like he didn't just through a fit at Jungkook.

"I know you won't." Jimin could feel Jungkook's smile and it only hurts him more.

Jimin had pretended that Jungkook was dreaming because he didn't want Jungkook to remember he got yelled at. And for Jimin sake he didn't want Jungkook to think that Jimin could get mad at him. And the fact that Jungkook thought that his love confession was also part of the dream hurt just as much. He could've told Jungkook that it wasn't a dream but he decided that he'd leave it be because of the way Jungkook cried that night. He didn't want to see that again, even if it meant staying best friends. He'd need to find a way to ask Jungkook to move in with him after he graduates another way then he did though.

(Later that day)

"You're so disgusting...." Jimin whispered to himself standing naked in the shower. "You shouted at him.... and then had the fucking balls the get hard?" Jimin clenched his fist as his cheeks became wet from tears that were soon to be washed away by the water. He then roughly grabbed a hold of his length and started pumping it in his palm. "You're a fucking disgrace Park Jimin..." Jimin was really disgusted by himself. He yelled at Jungkook. And that was the biggest regret in his life, no matter how angry Jungkook made him. It was unacceptable.

Getting as horny as he did was even worse. And then actually touching himself too. He did it so often, but he never got used to the disgustingly sad feeling he got every single time. Everytime he started masturbating to the thought of Jungkook he just couldn't keep the tears in.

And the thought that Jungkook doesn't even care about him never seemed to leave his mind. Not even when Jungkook is crying at midnight begging Jimin to hold him because he had a bad dream. Not even when Jungkook always asks Jimin to kiss away his tears. Not even when Jungkook tries his hardest to get Jimin to eat enough food and not just give everything to him. Nothing convinced him that he wasn't a disgusting pervert and that Jungkook didn't actually love him.

Just as Jimin was about to cum he heard a rather loud "Knock knock!" coming from the outside of the door. He immediately assumed the worse to have happened and jumped out of the shower to open the door immediately not even thinking about his naked body. "Are you okey Jungkookie?!" Jimin asked and immediately cupped his face looking up at Jungkook with teary eyes, it was quite rare for Jungkook to interrupt Jimin's showers. He knew it was Jimin's 'alone time' and made sure to never disturb him. But Jungkook heard a loud crashing sound and got really worried.

"I heard a big boom, I got scared that you were hurt." Jungkook explained holding onto Jimin's waist with a shaky bottom lip clearly also holding back tears. "O-oh, don't scare me like that Jungkookie. I only dropped a bar of soup and it made a lot of the other bottles in the shower fall over." Jimin gently stroked his thump over a scare on Jungkook's cheeks watching as relief strake his features.

Jimin did lie though, he fell when he was masturbating and then knocked over the shampoo bottles, but he couldnt exactly go 'Yah I was just fucking my hand thinking about you and then fell." could he?

"You're okey? " Jungkook asked gripping Jimin's waist, "Yes, Jungkookie... I'm not hurt... "Jimin answered then rapped his arms around Jungkooks neck and hugged him to comfort him. Jungkook buried his face in the crook of Jimin's neck spilling the worried tears, he was so sensitive. The slightest scary thing happened and he was in tears.

"You're always telling me not to scare you but then you go around freely giving me heart attacks with no consideration to my feelings." Jungkook complained whispering into Jimin's ear, he liked doing that because he knew that Jimin could hear him better. "I'm sorry, Googie. I didnt know that I scared you..." Jimin apologize almost moaning at the warm breathe on his ear and neck. Jungkook pulled Jimin's waist closer to him to the point that no space was between them, just how he liked it.

He could feel his member slowly increase in size and hardness feeling Jimin's hard on press against his crotch. "You're such a baby...." Jimin whispered softly still in between Jungkook's arms but his upper body was a bit further away. He cupped the younger's cheeks and then kissed them knowing Jungkook liked it when he did that. Jimin continued kissing Jungkook's cheeks then softly licked the scare on the right side. Jungkook's soft chuckle could be heard and Jimin kissed it one last time before whispering, "Let me go Jungkook." in to his ear. He was starting to get shy about his exposed body, but he couldn't get out of Jungkook's arms if Jungkook wanted him to stay. Jungkook overpowered him too much.

"No, that's always when you leave!" Jungkook's eyes started filling with tears once again as he stroke confusion to Jimin's mind. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to leave you..." Jimin said but Jungkook just hugged his waist tighter. "In my dreams, you always say 'let me go' or 'ill be back soon' but you never come back! You keep leaving me. I can't.... I just can't lose you okey?! I never want to lose you.... " Jungkook cried then bended down to continue burying his head in Jimin's neck. "That's what your nightmares are about?.... me... leaving you? " Jimin asked and Jungkook sniffled and nodded his head yes still in Jimin's neck.

"Yah, you always say something along the lines of 'I'll always be with you' and then you say 'let me go' and when I let you go you're either laughing at me while I'm being raped by Woojin and his friends or you just drop dead! " Jungkook's whispered were so painful to listen to. Jimin knew the last thing he ever wanted to do was leave Jungkook, but anything could happen. He die tomorrow and then what? Jungkook would be alone, he'd have Taehyung and his family. But that wasn't enough for Jimin, Taehyung didn't have the right amount of protectiveness for Jungkook.

"I promise Jungkook, I will never in my life willingly leave you. I'll fight for you. I'll be the one that protects you no matter the cost! But most of all, I'll never not love you." Jimin tried his hardest not to sob feeling Jungkook's grip on his waist tighten enough to cause a bruise, "I dont believe you..." Jungkook said coldly, now it was Jimin's turn to feel like reality was just a bad dream. That was all it took, it only took four simple words to cut a whole in his heart. Those words hurt like fuck I promise you that.

(A few weeks later)

"Hyung, you'll still come visit me right? please don't leave me alone forever...." Jungkook begged knowing Jimin won't be able to live in the university dorms after he graduates in a day or two. "Actually, I want to ask you. Will you move in with me after I get my own place? I don't want to live alone and I'll miss you so much!" Jimin said and Jungkook's features instantly changed from dramatically pouting to, kind of sad and confused. "Why would you want to continue living with me?" Jungkook asked and Jimin tried to think of a way to answer differently then the last time. "Because you're my best friend and I love you! " Jimin said trying to make it seem like he meant it in a 'i love you in like a friends way.' and did it worked.

"Best friend huh?" Jungkook's face was still sad, he didn't want to just be friends anymore... but what was he gonna do? Confess? I don't think so, he doesn't have the balls to do that. But then again, neither did Jimin.

"So? Do you wanna be my permanent roommate Jungkookie?" Jimin asked with a desperate smile, he didn't want Jungkook to say no. He wanted to be with Jungkook for the rest of his life. He wanted Jungkook to continue living him.

"Of course I wanna! You're my favourite hyung, jiminssi!" Jungkook's whispers seemed so enthusiastic yet they were spoken so low, Jimin had grown to rely on those whispers, he had grown to love them. They scared him at first but now the last time he spoke normally seemed like a distant dream, besides for the very vivid screams of pain that haunted Jimin's nightmares.

"Thank you jungkook-ah..." Jimin whispered filled to the brim with relief, if he had said no Jimin's world would've came crashing down and he wouldn't be able to take all the weight.