Chapter 3

Liliana

THE NATURE VERSUS nurture debate is one of the oldest controversies in general psychology. This debate centers on the relative contributions of genetic inheritance and environmental factors to human development. Nature theorists argue that various genetic traits passed from parent to child influence the individual peculiarity that makes each person unique. However, nurture theorists believe that the environment the child grows up in influences his or her behavior. The question becomes, how do we become who we are? People's answers have placed them in one of two camps: nature or nurture. I cannot lay claim to being a psychologist or a philosopher.

Nevertheless, I would not deny that I am sometimes curious as to what fashioned me to be the way I am. My genes? Do I by any chance behave like my mother? A question that contrary to my heart's longing, I could not answer as I'd never met her, and nobody ever told me what she looked like. Thus, I would tilt towards the nurture theory, as I am quite familiar with the circumstances that helped define me.

I was born with a diamond spoon and a black heart. My grandmother had seen me as the villain of her story even before my eyes got opened as a child. The lovable Maria, my mother - her favorite and only daughter died birthing me. My grandfather had tried to convince her that I was faultless in the eventuality, but time again, her unhealed wounds were exposed every time she attempted to bandage them with a smiling façade. My uncle had been on my side until he left for England after marrying his childhood sweetheart. It would not be fair to hate him for it. He had a life to live that did not revolve around his dead sister's daughter. I did not know my father's feelings on the issue as he had left me with my grandparents my whole life. Maria was the love of his life. Her death had forced him into another woman's arms for the sake of his political ambition. At least, that was how it was then.

Growing up, I longed for genuine smiles, not forced nor elicited by emergencies. After a while, I gave up. I buried myself in my studies, and I learned how to dance. I danced to re-live the life I would have had with my mother, for emotions I had subdued, and the pages of my story filled with the handwriting of others. Other than from dancing, emotions generally exuded me except during sex. The sex was getting fucked good by older men who I could control to do my bidding. If I couldn't control my fate, then I at least could control that of others. New York, the city which never sleeps made it a lot easier to assuage my desires.

When I got a scholarship to finish High school in Waterside city where my father was a senator, I was a bit hesitant. Not just of moving away, but of living with my stepmother - Briana, and her daughter Rose who I didn't like. The feeling was mutual anyway. Sure I did celebrate holidays with them but living in the same house?  That I never envisioned.

I could not tell if my grandma was going to miss me, I mean I did look like her beloved daughter. For sure my grandad would hold memories of us, as I would. In the end, I accepted the offer, deciding that change was something I needed. No one would have imagined that I, Queen of Serenity High school could leave my crown behind.

My absence would be felt and remembered, but not missed by males and females alike because I was a constant reminder of their inadequacies, both in looks and brains. I didn't have any genuine friends either so it was easy to bid goodbye to the city that never sleeps.

~~¶~~

Today is the first day of my High school's first semester, and I couldn't decide exactly what exact emotion floored the apex of my mind. Excitement, indifference, and a bit of an…. I would like not to call it what I felt anxiety, for Lilly had to always be in control. But I believed that lies were to be told to others, not to myself. So yeah, Lily is anxious.

I had never been in this town long enough to make a statement. So going to Waterside High presented an opportunity for me to see just how powerful I could be from scratch. The only downside was that Rose had withdrawn from her boarding school and would be joining me. I know some people love the stepsister-archenemy drama stories, but I had never fancied playing a character in them. It was winter and the chill of the weather brought emotions to the forefront.

Finally deciding that I had spent enough time in the bathroom, I stood up from the Jacuzzi and dried myself with my pink towel which was on the black, floral, cotton pole above my head. My bathroom was spacious, a chandelier shone over the water in the Jacuzzi. The floors were naturally gray with black demarcation designs. The highlight of it all was not the state-of-the-art toilet, the vanity mirror, the solid walls, or the high-end windows.

The highlight was me. I took dainty steps to my room as my legs had become almost frizzled. My excitement abated as the usual exhaustion of waking up early for school set in. I walked to the mirror and smiled at my reflection loving the lady who stared back at me with green, beautiful eyes.

"I have the body of a goddess, and only a god is fitting of me." I reminded myself, a subtle act of ensuring that in the quest for good sex, I knew what I truly deserved to settle with. Moisturizer? Check. Makeup? Check.  Satisfied with the artwork on my face, I proceeded to put on my school uniform. It was a flay skirt with numerous colors I didn't bother to take note of, and a white shirt.  I had altered it and now the skirt stopped just above my knee enough to look decent, yet provocative. 

Always preferring to remain on the fence, I looked almost perfect but I noticed something was amiss. My dry lips had not been glossed. It was always the last thing for me to apply because it was the finisher, a stand-alone. Vain, yes, but who can lay claim to not possessing a bit of vanity in them? If you can… Whatever.

On my table rested trails of beauty products from Fenty to Mac. Perfumes, roll-ons, etcetera. I took my lip gloss, gently and expertly stroking it whilst taking note of all the things that made me overly beautiful. My thin waist gave me the perfect hourglass shape, my ample bosom, and my extremely pretty, long face. I smacked my lips together, then I put the lip gloss in my makeup purse which I put in my bag. I slung my bag across my shoulders and walked out of my room. I would have preferred arranging before leaving, but I was already quite late.