Chapter 11

Pei Yueran and Han Yichen walked to the tombstone that marked Han Lei's final resting place. It was a simple white headstone with his name, date of birth, date of death and a cross on it.

She dusted the snow that had fallen on the headstone and said, "I'm here, Lei." Han Yichen also greeted, "Dad." They then laid down the flowers they brought for him— hellebores.

They were his favorite winter flower. The ones they brought on their last visit —some two weeks ago— had probably been buried under the blanket of snow.

They stood there silently for a while, heads bowed. Though it was very cold, they had dressed warmly, so the chill wasn't very serious. Nevertheless, Han Yichen sneezed after a while, and that seemed to rouse Pei Yueran. She spoke slowly,

"We decided to leave City A. I will be moving in a few days, and Xiao Chen will come join me when he graduates." Her voice broke, so she now spoke in a whisper, "we will miss you".

Han Yichen also chimed in, "will miss you Dad. Take care."

He then sensibly moved away a bit. He was sure his Mom had more to say.

Pei Yueran did. She blinked back tears as she spoke about the visit to Director Zhou, Han Yichen's outburst, her new job and how she eventually made the decision to move. She also spoke about the arrangements for Han Yichen to stay with Director Zhou.

She cheered up as she spoke of happy things —the weather, her happiness due to the attractive terms of her new job, some funny incidents that happened recently with Han Yichen and general updates about people she and Han Lei used to know.

"You remember Long Lin, he and Zhao Linghua quarreled and made up for the nth time. They obviously love each other very much, but whenever they quarrel, the entire neighborhood is aware, because they don't act as lovey-dovey as they normally do.

"So they quarreled again last week and were in a cold war for some days. But when I was coming back yesterday, I saw them acting all sweet on each other outside their house. I envy them somewhat." She said wistfully.

She then sighed and looked at the time. "We have to go now, I don't want Xiao Chen to catch a cold. I'll come see you on the first day of Spring. Goodbye Lei."

"Xiao Chen, we're leaving now", she called out, and Han Yichen jogged over. "Goodbye Dad."

Both were silent as they made the short trip home.

*****

"I'll be blunt with you—no need beating about the bush: you need to love again. I'm not saying you have to actively look for love. All I'm trying to say is that you should not push love away if it ever comes. Give it a second chance.

"The Han Lei I knew would have wanted you to be happy no matter what. I also don't mean you should start a relationship to heal your broken heart— that would not work. it would only make two people miserable. But open your heart and let time work its magic."

They were in the living room, boxing up the little ornaments that decorated the centre table and dining room. Su Qianhua had arrived some minutes to lunch time, so they started work after eating.

As they boxed different gadgets and furniture, they talked about different things in general. Han Yichen also helped at the side. After about thirty minutes, he left to go and take a nap, after which he had to study.

As they packed, Pei Yueran would linger on one item or the other, her eyes speaking of the history behind each one. After their conversation stalled for the fourth time, Su Qianhua spoke out.

Pei Yueran took some seconds to pull herself together.

She faced Su Qianhua, "Qianhua, I really don't think I can love anyone else again. It feels as if my heart died with Lei. On some days, it is so difficult to find the will to live. If it were not for Han Yichen, I don't know if I would have been able to function to this level. I don't even know how to not push love away. So don't keep your hopes up, I'm broken."

Su Qianhua didn't say anything, only dropping the glass globe in her hand on the table and gathering Pei Yueran in a bear hug, patting her back.

After a moment of silence, she said, "You're one of the strongest women I know Yueran, and if anyone deserves happiness, it's definitely you. Don't be pressured. Just be you."

She held her shoulders and looked straight at her, "Don't give in to whatever wants to defeat you. You are a survivor, and you didn't come this far just to give up.

"Remember, you may be broken, but you're not beyond fixing. Stay strong!", she said, doing the flexed biceps sign with her barely noticeable biceps. Pei Yueran smiled at her and nodded, grateful for the encouragement.

The day passed quickly as they worked methodically. By the time Su Qianhua left, they had almost everything packed, except for the heavy fixtures and things they planned to use in the coming days.

Pei Yueran walked Su Qianhua to the garage where she retrieved her care and drove off.

*****

After the talk in the study, Li Chuanmo and Li Yuchen returned home, despite Zhang Heying pleading for them to stay the night.

After much persuasion, Li Chuanmo agreed to pass the night the next time they come visiting.

Zhang Heying then reluctantly waved them good bye. Beside her, Li Qianye heaved a sigh of relief, even though he also wanted them to stay.

When they got home, Li Yuchen immediately took himself to his room with the excuse that he was very tired and wanted to sleep. But in truth, he played games for over an hour before eventually going to bed.

Li Chuanmo went to the study, going over the company affairs and typing up a report based on what he had learnt. He worked far into the night, and didn't go to bed until around 2am.

Even when he laid down, he couldn't sleep. He had been suffering from mild insomnia in his teens, and it worsened after the divorce.

After tossing and turning for more than an hour, he got up and took two sleeping pills. He eventually fell asleep about thirty minutes later.