Why is Love so Difficult?

"Good morning residents of Eden!" my television greeted me as I laid on my couch. "As all of the soulmate testers know, the results are out! I could tell there was love in the air just from my walk to the company station!" she joked. "But I hope all is well for everyone and their newly discovered partners!"

So, it wasn't a dream...

Not that I dreamed any last night. I don't know how anyone could sleep soundly at the news of three potential wives after being single their whole life. I looked at the messages again and groaned.

I really have three potential partners? And one of them being Ms. Yunasa nonetheless.

Out of the names that I received last night, hers was the only one I recognized.

I slowly sat up on the couch, still wrapped up in a cozy, midnight blue blanket. "Well, no matter what I do, this is the situation I'm in now." I got up and walked to the kitchen. "I wonder what Yunasa's reaction to her message was..." After pausing at that thought, I grabbed my favorite mug from the cabinet and brewed a cup of coffee.

For what it's worth, it's still early in the morning... at least for me. It's rare for me to get up before 9 A.M. however here I was, struggling to walk around the kitchen at 6 A.M. After my coffee finished brewing, I sat back down on the couch. The TV was still going on about the soulmate test and how a lot of places are offering discounts for new couples.

They are really hammering down on relationships now.

I know it's the company's way of helping the newly formed couples to go out and do stuff, but it seemed really forced. That's why I preferred locations that were free and easy to access, which would explain the locations I'd been given to meet the girls.

After finishing my cup of coffee, I went through my normal morning routine and shot Jay a message. I've only been thinking about my situation, but I wonder what happened with Jay. I assumed he would've messaged me last night about his new partner, but alas, I never got a message.

Today is a school day, but there's nothing wrong with going in early every so often. The school is about a thirty-minute walk from my apartment complex which isn't so bad. I could take a bus to school, but walking is a good way to relieve stress and free the mind. Plus, I got to see the great scenery this island has to offer. My apartment is near the coast, so my walk to and from school was very aesthetic. The pathway took me along the coastline where I could see the endless blue waters the Pacific Ocean had to offer. Seagulls could be heard squawking above and far. Palm trees were scattered everywhere along with oak, pine, and cedar spread throughout the island. The Japanese government even allowed the growth of some cherry blossoms on the island, but only in some of the larger parks and near the capitol building. Everything here is colorful and vivid which only made everything here look that much more beautiful.

I got a response from Jay after about ten minutes of walking:

"Hey Kousei! I was way too excited last night after I got the text! I couldn't sleep a wink, and could you believe it? She's a girl in our class! Anyways, I'm already on my way to school so I'll see you when you get here!"

Seemed like he was okay and full of energy despite not getting any sleep either. I wondered what girl in class he matched up considering he's so excited. Either she's one of the prettier ones or he's just genuinely happy he's got a girlfriend. Regardless, I wished I had his energy today.

Eventually I arrived at this island's university. The university was made up of a gymnasium and four different buildings, all of them being three stories tall. Three of the buildings housed the common core classes like English, Math, and Science. The other building was for extracurricular classes and club rooms. The gymnasium had a track and a field for other sports like soccer. There was a cafeteria on the first floor of the four main buildings, and I usually headed there when I decided to come to school early, but not today.

Instead, I walked straight to the English building and walked to my homeroom class. The campus was usually pretty empty at this time, but there were a lot of people here early. It was mostly guys and I can kind of figure as to why they are early. There were a few women here and there, but not to the extent of guys. Everyone looked either extra nervous or extra happy, no in between.

As I walked into the classroom, almost all the guys were already there, sitting at their desks anxiously.

Geez, are guys really so simple? I pondered as I walked to my desk.

Jay was sitting next to me at his desk, gazing at his phone, but his expression showed a more trance-like state. I pulled the phone out of his hands, but he didn't even flinch in response. "So, you got matched with Noeri?" Upon hearing her name being spoken, Jay jolts back to life.

"Noeri?! Where's she at?!" Jay jumped up, looking around the room. After a few seconds, he finally realized I was holding his phone with a smirk on my face. "Oh, it's just you, Kousei."

"Whoa, what do you mean it's just me?! I don't know why, but I feel offended now," I responded with a hand on my chest while taking a step back.

That managed to get a chuckle out of Jay. "Haha, sorry about that. I'm just super excited to meet her. Well, not really meet her since she's been in the same homeroom as us for the past year, but you know. I get the chance to finally know who she is instead of just admiring from a distance. Things can only go up from here!" I had to cover my eyes from the shining light Jay was emitting. Sometimes his optimism is too much for me and I'd get blinded by his happiness and kindness. "I mean, how lucky am I to get matched with one of the prettiest girls on campus?!"

Noeri Nishikigi was one of the most well-known girls on campus. She was incredibly smart and nice. Her appearance is nothing to overlook either. With her long, silver hair and her silver eyes that glistened like stars melted in platinum. She usually sported formal wear which only exuded her feminine appeal more. There were some baseless rumors going around like how she'd been passed around by all the guys, but I think it was just because she had never accepted anyone's confession.

I sighed as I sat down in my seat. "I'd say you're extremely lucky, but I think I've got you beat by a mile," I muttered as I rested my head on my desk.

"What do you mean by that? Noeri isn't just some normal girl, she's a top three on any guy's list here! There are only one or two that would happen to be ahead of her and there's no way you got one of them," Jay proclaimed pridefully. "Here, lemme see your phone," he motioned with his hand.

"I'll let you see it, but you have to promise not to react okay. I mean it, I don't want this to turn into a big deal," I whispered as I stared at him, showing him I was being serious. I think my seriousness got across because he nodded with a serious expression in return. He opened my messages and stood there for a few moments. He slowly creaked his head toward me, and I breathed a sigh of relief to see him wearing a blank expression. However, I could see his hands starting to shake and sweat building up on his forehead.

Man, he's really trying to keep it together.

I stood up and took my phone back. "Hey, how about we go enjoy the weather on the roof? We've still got some time before class starts."

We made our way to the rooftop and luckily, no one was there at the time. The rooftop was accessible to anyone at any time, and the reason was because of the safety fence that outlines it. From the rooftop, you could see the other buildings and the people on it, but they were just far enough away so you can't hear their conversations unless you were shouting or screaming. You could also oversee the rest of the campus and parts of the island. A really romantic spot if you asked me.

Once the door closed behind us and made sure no one was around, Jay let loose. "YOU ARE PARTNERED WITH YUNASA?!" I'm sure if there were people on the rooftops, they definitely would've heard him. "HOW DID YOU GET MATCHED WITH HER?! SHE DIDN'T EVEN TAKE THE TEST!" Jay continued.

I held my hand up. "First off, stop shouting. We are on the rooftop, but this place ain't exactly 100% soundproof. Also, why are you so focused on Ms. Yunasa? I'd thought you'd react more to the fact that I got three matches."

Jay opened his mouth and I gave him a look that you'd give to a toddler to not do what they are about to do. He laughed and took a deep breath. "Yes, I am jealous you have three matches, however that just seems extremely stressful to go through. Especially since you HAVE to eliminate one after a year, then another after two." He crossed his arms and looked at me jealously. "But seriously, you got Yunasa? Is that why you said you were luckier than me?"

I covered my face with the palm of my hand. "I don't know how you look over the three partners thing so well. That's all I've been thinking about, but it seems for you, the only one of them that's on your mind is Ms. Yunasa." I sat down and looked up at the clear sky. "I don't know what to do now. Like aren't matches supposed to mean that you are meant to be? Won't that mean I'll love all three of them?"

Jay sits down across from me with his legs crossed. "Perhaps, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. From the way I see it, you are given three correct answers. Any of them are right, but maybe one is a slightly better answer to you. You've just got to find out which one of them that slightly better answer is." He pointed at me sternly. "Remember, these girls were picked for you and you alone."

There goes Jay with his optimism. Somehow always looking at that grass that's greener. But he's right, these girls were picked based on my preferences and their preferences. But that didn't change the fact that two of these women are gonna be left alone when all this is said and done.

"Yeah, I get that we were all picked for each other, but I don't wanna leave two of them alone. Like, if I were in their shoes and I wasn't picked, I would be devastated." I looked down at the ground. "Having your soulmate picked out for you, just to have them not want you even though you are made for each other..."

Jay got up and sat down next to me. "I won't say I understand what's going on in your head because I don't. But what I do know is that life is never this easy." He put a hand on my slumped head. "You know, no matter who you pick, I don't think any of these girls will hold it against you. Hell, we don't even know who two of them are right now," he exclaimed as he ruffled my hair. "Now come on, you've still got a year to decide. You don't really know any of them right now, so your first goal should be to get to know them better." He stood up and held his hand out for me. "Get up, a wise person said, 'If you run away, you gain one. If you move forward, you gain two.'"

I repeated that line in my head a few times and eventually a smile curled on my face.

Just how optimistic can this guy be?

I grabbed his hand and stood alongside him. "You're right. I don't know anything about any of them, except Ms. Yunasa. And who knows, maybe there'll be a clear winner in my head from the beginning!"

Jay smiled and smacked me on the back. "That's the spirit! Also, maybe be a little more open-minded for the first six months. You don't want to close the doors to an opportunity too early," he remarked with a little worry in his tone.

"It was just a little joke," I laughed. I walked to the fence where I could see people walking in from the front gate. I squinted my eyes and saw a woman who I believed a certain someone had been dying to see. "Hey Ja-" I turned around and all that was left was a small cloud of dust. "Not even a 'See you later!' huh?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. At times like these when you're stressed out, the best thing to do is breath. At least that's what a lot of people online say. I took in the sunlight for a moment, and headed back to the classroom. It was still a little early, but a lot more students had rolled in since we went to the rooftop. When I made it back to the classroom, it wasn't just guys anymore. Almost everyone had arrived and decided to come in early.

There was a small circle around one desk and I could only assume who I thought was in the middle of it. I didn't even bother to check as the desk next to mine was vacant. I'll ask how that went a little later. Suddenly, the image of the girl who tested with Jay and I flashed in my mind, well not so much her face but the bow she wore.

That's right, I feel like I've seen her before in class.

I scanned the classroom for the bow or any girl who looked like the one I remembered. But much to my dismay, my eyes couldn't find the bow.

As I pulled out my phone to try and pass the time, I noticed someone sat in the other vacant desk next to me. They set their bag on their desk and sat down. Either I'm oblivious or extremely unobservant because I didn't remember someone sitting to my right. I was curious as to who they were, so I kept my eyes glued to my phone, but using my amazing peripheral vision to try and see them without making it obvious. I leaned back in my chair and slightly turned to the right but kept my phone in front of me. I knew my acting skills weren't that of a professional, but I felt like they would get a passing grade. As I began to slowly get them into a vision, I was greeted by a pair of eyes looking at me as if I was some sort of alien. If I could describe it, it looked like a mixture of confusion, disgust, and disappointment.

Their unexpected expression caught me off guard which caused me to cough and panic. In doing so, I leaned back a little further than my chair intended, and I immediately hit the floor.

Why am I like this...

The entire class went silent, and I could feel the entire classroom's eyes focus their attention on the guy laying on the floor. My fight or flight instincts kicked in almost immediately.

I wonder how fast I could make it to the rooftop if I full on sprint.

Just as I was getting up, I saw a pair of eyes looking down on me directly from above. "Are you okay?" It's the same pair of eyes that were looking at me seconds before my idiotic tumble. The purple hue of which their eyes gave off makes me feel like I'm falling under a witch's spell. "Hello? Earth to Shimazaki-kun."

I quickly got up at the sound of my name and fixed my chair. I slowly sat down and acted like nothing happened. If I act like nothing happened, then nothing truly happened. That's how I've always believed society acted when small blunders happened.

Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. "You never answered my question. Are you alright? Do you need to go to the nurse?" I finally got a clear picture of who is talking to me. She squatted next to my desk and surveyed me with concerned, royal, purple-colored eyes.

"Uhh, yeah! I'm fine. Just saw a bug fly across my face and it startled me a little," I lied, trying to keep what little pride I have left.

She tilted her head slightly. "Bug? I didn't see any bug fly across your face. Or maybe it was one so small I couldn't see it?"

Either this girl didn't know how to read people or she's a bit ditzy. I scratched the back of my head and decided to keep lying and keep my pride. "Yeah, it was like a little gnat or something. I'm not quite sure what it was."

"I've never seen someone panic so much from a gnat before. Wait, do you just have a fear of flying insects?!" she asked like she had figured out the answer to all of the Earth's issues.

I gave up. This girl is too ditzy for her own good. "No, I just panicked from you looking at me," I confessed, hanging my head down dejectedly.

The girl sat there quietly for a moment before going back to her desk next to me. She began stroking her hair. "Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry to have scared you," she apologized sincerely.

If there's one way to make a guy feel bad, just apologize for something that they know they are at fault in. "You don't have to apologize. If anything, I should apologize since I was the one being weird." I'm not gonna say that I was trying to look at her with my peripherals because that is extremely weird.

As she continued to stroke her hair, I noticed a bow wrapped around her wrist.

That's the purple bow I saw on the day of the test!

I looked back up at her face and it was indeed the same face I remembered. "Hey, were you and I in the same testing room yesterday?"

Her cheeks flushed red and she stroked her hair more quickly. "Uhh, I think so?" she barely squeaked out.

"Oh, well..." My mind went into disarray. What do I say?! Talking to women doesn't seem difficult in the books I read! "Uhh..." She looked over at me as I panicked and started sweating bullets. "Umm..." My eyes wandered back to the bow. "Uhh, I think your bow is really cute! It really compliments your hair color!"

After a brief pause and me nervously sweating, she touched the bow with her other hand and smiled. "Thank you. I've had it for years as a gift from my mother."

There aren't many times in life where I've just stopped thinking and have just taken in what sight is in front of me. This is one of those rare times as nothing was filling my brain except the picture of this girl's gentle, warm smile. There aren't enough words in my vocabulary that I can use to describe the sight I'm currently seeing.

I shook my head and brought my consciousness back. "Oh, I see. Well, your mother has good taste in accessories," I bashfully commented.

Man, there's a good mood going here, I should probably get her name while I can. Maybe we can become good friends!

"Hey, so wha-" I get interrupted by the chime of the class bells, signaling the start of class. I sighed and sat down at my desk. "Things were going so well too..." I muttered under my breath. I pulled out my textbook and waited for the teacher to walk in.

"Alright class, open up your textbooks to page 135," Yunasa instructed. "I know some of you are still excited about getting a partner, but this is still school. We will continue like normal so make sure you guys stay focused. We also have a test next week so be sure to take plenty of notes." She walked around the classroom to make sure everyone was paying attention and following along. As she walked by my desk, she ran her hand gently along the edge. "I'm excited to talk to you on Wednesday..." she whispered in a voice soft with affection. Guess that answers my question on how she felt about me being a potential partner.

She walked by and I couldn't help but follow her with my eyes. It's as if she was a black hole because my eyes just kept getting pulled in by the gravity it had. "Hey Kousei, you're gonna burn a hole in her ass if you keep staring at it that hard," I heard from my left.

I squinted my eyes and glared at Jay, and he was just sitting there staring at Yunasa with me. "Hey, I don't wanna hear that from the guy who is also going to burn a hole in her ass." Seemed like Jay was affected by the black hole's gravity too.

The rest of the school day went on without a hitch. Jay would try and talk with Noeri any time he could. I couldn't find the time to talk to the girl next to me though. I lied, that's just an excuse for me not talking to her because I was a wuss. As the saying goes, "Fear is an awkward feeling that rouses spirit, but creates hesitation." With a good night's rest, the hesitation should subside and the thirst of curiosity will take over.

* * *

My alarm went off which prompted me to begin my morning routine. "Alright Kousei! Today is the day you get the girl's name!" I burst in confidence as I ate my breakfast. "Oh, I almost forgot. Today is the day I met two of my partners!" After school today, I met one of them in the classroom and one at the park near my apartment. I looked at my phone to look at the names again. "So, I got Ai Kudou first. I wonder what kind of girl she is." If we were meeting in the classroom, I assumed she would go to school too. Whether or not she's in my class is a different story.

On my leisure walk to school, I noticed a familiar looking girl walking alone. Her silver hair was a standout feature for sure. Seeing Noeri walking to school just felt wrong. I'm not extremely judgmental, but I did assume someone would drop her off at school from a car. Someone of her stature and feminine prowess gives off that kind of rich, spoiled girl vibe.

"Noeri!" I heard a man shouting from behind me. "Wait for me!"

I turned my head around and saw a singular man sprinting as if the world was disappearing behind him. He was running so fast, the people he ran by were flying out of the way and getting thrown into the dust cloud behind him.

I don't think I've ever seen him run this fast in my life. 

He completely ignored me and ran straight to Noeri. She continued walking when he caught up to her. "Good morning, Jay," she greeted him.

"Good morning, Noeri. Quite the lovely weather we have today," Jay greeted in return. His hair was completely messed up, but he paid it no mind because he was entranced by Noeri's presence.

I turned around to check on the people he ran by and most were either groaning or looking around confused. Luckily, I was close enough to Noeri that he was in the process of slowing down when he ran by me. I still got a little bit of dust in my hair, but not the extent of those behind me. Seeing Jay's burst of energy isn't a shabby way to start the morning, so I thought I can kind of get used to seeing it every so often.

The school day flew by, I couldn't even tell you what we talked about because truthfully, I wasn't paying attention. My mind was focused on what was coming afterwards, my first meeting with Ai Kudou.