Chapter4

#Chapter4

/"That decision seemed a little impulsive,/" Kernal said after they had taken a seat.

/"I can lie to you and say that it wasn't if it would make you feel better,/" Stryker offered. It earned him a dark look.

/"This isn't a joke, Stryker. If you do this... I'm going to need you to take it seriously. He's already hurt and scared. He doesn't need any more bad experiences./"

/"You really think that you're going to find kind, loving homes for these kids?/" Stryker asked flatly, raising an eyebrow. /"That just isn't the world we live in./"

/"I will,/" Kernal insisted. /"I have great friends. Kind friends. Christian has already had a little before and I saw the way he treated him; I have no worries there. Deacon is-/"

/"Deacon is a fucking hermit. How is he a good choice?/"

/"And you're not?/" Kernal shot back before sighing. /"Deacon is a good guy. He just likes to keep to himself. You're a good guy, Stryker... you're just bitter. It doesn't mean that he won't make a good caregiver. It doesn't mean that you won't./"

/"Can we skip all this soul searching shit and get straight to the part where you lecture me and threaten me not to fuck up?/"

Kernal's expression softened, his tanned skin clearing of the worry lines that had built around his eyes. /"This is who they are. They didn't ask to be this way, but they are. He's going to be very much dependant on you, Stryker. Even for the simplest of things. This isn't a game that you can decide you don't want to play when you realize that it's not as fun as you first thought. I really do appreciate you doing this for me, but for the kid's sake, I would rather you didn't if you can't commit to it./"

Could he?

It was hard to say. His buzz had worn off, leaving him with little more than a niggling headache but even still, he wasn't sure that he was thinking as clearly as he should have.

/"What's his name?/"

Kernal blinked. /"What?/"

/"The kid. What's his name?/" Did it matter? He wasn't sure. He just... needed to know, as though that useless piece of information would help him make his decision.

/"I think... I think it is Jamie./"

/"You think?/"

/"They're not very talkative, Stryker and the records that Willard kept are appalling. They're not even filled in properly. I'm... in way over my head here./"

If he were any kind of a friend then he would have reached over, placed his hand on Kernal's shoulder and told him that everything was going to be okay. Except he wasn't much of a friend and he didn't bother trying to delude himself into thinking that he was.

/"Maddy said three weeks?/"

/"He... where is Maddy?/"

/"He said he was off to do something,/" Stryker shrugged. /"Dunno what. Don't care what./"

Kernal scowled. /"Three weeks and we'll take him back. We'll either have a home for him by then or we'll have found homes for enough of them that we can look after him ourselves./"

/"I'll take him. Then we're square, you and I. I won't owe you anything./"

Closing his eyes and letting out a deep exhale, Kernal shook his head slowly. /"You don't owe me anything. Anything I've ever done for you is because we're friends. This is what friends do for each other./"

Stryker blinked. To him, that was bullshit. He owed Kernal, even if the guy was being too humble to admit it. /"Three weeks. Not a day over./"

Kernal smiled faintly, almost sadly. He looked like he wanted to say something but that look quickly vanished as he straightened in his seat. /"You can't drink around him./"

Now it was Stryker's turn to straighten. /"Why not? He's not a little kid. He just acts like one. It won't hurt./"

/"He doesn't just act like one, Stryker, he has the mentality of one. He will be dependant on you; are you missing that fact?/"

/"Fine,/" Stryker snapped. /"No drinking. I mean, I'll be miserable looking after it anyway, so why not take the rest of the joy from it?/"

/"Can you do this or not, Stryker?/"

He gave a grim nod. He drank because he wanted to. Not because he had to. He could go without it if he chose to.

/"Thank you. I mean it. You don't know how much this means to me. I'll try and sort his file out for you and have it ready for tomorrow, but I really don't think it will help. You can add to it as you go along, though./"

Stryker grunted but nodded. /"You still have your pickup?/"

Kernal nodded with a frown. /"In the garage. Why?/"

Stryker didn't answer right away. It was a question that he had been meaning to ask for a while and he figured now, while Kernal would be trying to keep him sweet, it was a good time to ask.

/"I was wondering if you could use it to take Parker somewhere once you've sorted this whole situation out. My car can't pull the trailer./"

/"Is she okay?/"

Parker was his horse. A 16hh Irish draught that had stolen his heart years before when she had been just a foal. She was the only girl he had ever loved.

/"She's fine. Tommy.../" Stryker trailed off, clearing his throat, ignoring the way that his chest panged painfully. /"Tommy said that he would look after her. He's got two little girls now. Six and eight, I think. Perfect pony loving age./"

/"And you're okay with that?/" Kernal was one of the few people who knew just how much Parker meant to him. He had been there with Stryker when he had bought her and he had come to the very first show they had competed in together.

/"Yes,/" Stryker lied. He was far from okay with it but it was what was best. /"Will you?/"

/"Sure thing, buddy,/" Kernal promised.

They spoke a little more but ultimately they decided that a trail night would be the most effective method. Kernal told him to try it for the night and if he couldn't handle it then he could bring him back and everything would be fine.

Blossom had dressed Jamie, as well as the little girl she had been coddling, along with a few others.

Jamie was out of his crib but he had still curled up small on the floor, his hands wrapped tightly in a dishcloth, cuddling into it as though it were a blanket.

/"Hey,/" Stryker crouched down next to him. /"You're going to be coming home with me tonight. Is that okay?/"

The boy lifted his head a little, his eyes visible for the briefest of seconds. Then he nodded. Stryker picked him up with ease when the boy didn't get to his feet as he expected. He was bemused by how light he was. He barely weighed more than his two-year-old nephew did, though his tangles of limbs were slightly more awkward than a baby's.

/"I still think this is a bad idea,/" Blossom said as Stryker led Jamie to the front door.

/"I'm still astounded that you're actually capable of thinking,/" Stryker shot back.

Kernal walked him out to the car. /"Go slow, Stryker. He might need a car seat but we don't have one so you'll have to get one for him; I'll reimburse any costs./"

Stryker fastened Jamie into the back of the car. The boy instantly drew his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, his tea towel still clutched in his hand.

/"No, fuck slow,/" Stryker said sarcastically. /"I think I might go drag racing down the highway./"

/"I've packed him a few bits and bobs but we don't have much. Maddy has ordered some stuff but it won't come until tomorrow. You might have to go shopping for some of the things you need, or I can send Maddy to do it for you./"

/"Just keep your pet away from me and we'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow./"

It was late evening. Stryker hadn't left his house until afternoon, having showered and shaved first, and he hadn't arrived at Kernal's until quite late. He hoped he'd be okay with simply shoving the kid in bed and being done with it when he got back.

/"Please don't hurt me./"

The voice was so small and soft, Stryker almost missed it over the purr of the engine. He was nearly home and they had been driving in silence for the past ten minutes.

Stryker's eyes flickered to the hanging mirror. He saw the way that the kid's hair covered face was trained on him. He swallowed hard, giving a small nod.

/"I won't./"