19 February 2023

Sometimes the human mind is strange. So so strange.

If you hurt enough your brain will dull everything. You'll be happy. You'll be sad. But on the surface. You'll avoid your triggers without the purpose of it.

I emotionally detached.

That's why it all dulled out.

That's why I've found myself so social- yet so distant from everything.

I didn't want anything associated with emotions for the last week. Nothing deeper than the surface.

I told you I was numb.

That I felt nothing.

I wasn't wrong then.

But it broke today.

I finally cried over how much the last three weeks hurt.

I'm not done crying. But I'm kind of glad I feel a step closer normal.

I don't regret meeting you at all.

Thank you for being the first person I loved wholeheartedly.

Thank you for being so kind.

Thank you for teaching me more about myself in three months than I've learned in years.

Thank you for making me feel so loved and beautiful.

Thank you for crying over me even though you deserved so much better.

I loved you.

I love you.

I will continue to love you.