Hold yourself.

"You... You are not asking me to... to take a shower with you right?" Evel said stammering. Axel looked up and then pulled the blankets off. He tried to stand up but Evel rushed and helped him.

"I'm sorry I hurt you... I.. I... can I carry you to the bathtub?...." he asked supporting his boyfriend.

"No... I'll walk... You look like a scared puppy right now and you might drop me on the floor" Axel said and started walking towards the bathroom, though from his walking you could tell that it was hurting even if he hadn't taken more than three tiny steps. It's true that Evel was shaking because he was scared, he even bit his lip painfully punishing himself for what he had done to his bunny.

"Babe wait..." he said and then rushed and helped his boyfriend. He got him back to the bed.

"Lemme get a bathing robe for you... don't move okay?" Axel nodded silently and Evel ran and came back with the rob.

After changing, he carried his boyfriend to the bathtub. He had already set it when he went for the bathing robe. He had closed his eyes when his boyfriend was putting it on and now he is closing his eyes when he is removing it. He couldn't take it any longer because he wanted to see, he wanted to see his boyfriend.

"You will call me once you are done okay? I'm not leaving the room " he said and then turned and opened his eyes. Thanking God that he had not sneak peaked.

"Where are you going? Aren't you going to take responsibility for what you did?" Axel asked calmly but you could tell that he was serious. "Maybe I should just go back to my house then..." he said and Evel turned immediately.

"Okay.. but you have to promise you are not going anywhere.... I'll hold myself okay?" he told his pouting boyfriend who now stopped writing but didn't even give a smile.

His boyfriend was seated calmly in the bathtub and he was bathing him. He was holding himself because he felt like kissing him on any bear part of the skin that he saw, but considering his bunny, he could control himself up to any lengths. His skin felt so soft, sometimes he ended up forgetting what he was doing and was almost caressing him. It felt like hours and he just wanted to get done with it. Not because he didn't like it but because he felt like it was the best idea at the moment.

*****

After he was done helping his boyfriend dress, he took him to bed. At least he was a little bit stable now. He then pulled on the bed close to him and turned on the tv.

"Do you wanna watch something specifically?" he asked looking at his boyfriend.

"No.....i... I'm sorry about Ice... I... Maybe I gave him too much attention... but I gave him to your house help... I promise I won't do that again..." the little bunny said and then leaned on his shoulder.

"I'm okay..... but don't do that again, I'll lock you up...." he said jokingly but he actually meant it. He didn't want anything that would gain any sort of attention from his boyfriend more than him.

"Should we read a novel baby?..." Evel asked after some time. He didn't want his boyfriend to think because he could tell that his mind was a bit far. His father had mentioned that he is a depressed kid and didn't want him to be any more depressed with him. That's why he is intending to keep him closer than anyone else.

"No... I just want to stay like this... I don't want that..." once he heard it he knew that his boyfriend was thinking of something.

"Why don't we do something fun then? Like, play a game or something? It's cool don't you think huh?" he asked and again his boyfriend said no. He should be happy that his boyfriend wanted to stay on his shoulder like that but he was not. How could he be when his boyfriend was like this? It was the same face that he saw the same day he found him in the washroom. His mood was slowly dropping and he looks exactly like that day.

He wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but he just couldn't. He wanted to tell him that he can tell him anything because he is willing to listen but he didn't want to do it. Not right now. all he could do now was let him be, if he was finding it comfortable and peaceful leaning on the shoulder, then he was not going to stop him. He let him find peace there, if he just wanted to be there and nothing else it meant that it was peaceful for him right? But this couldn't stop Evel from thinking about his boyfriend. He was worried about him. How long was he going to keep things to himself?

He watched his silent boyfriend, wishing that he knew what was going on with him but it was all in vain. He switched off the tv because he wasn't watching anything in particular and now waited for the time to drift away quickly.

As his wish, the time flew. The househelp knocked and announced that dinner was ready. It then hit him that his boyfriend had not had anything since morning and this got him even more worried He also hadn't had anything but he felt like his boyfriend should come first. They had been silent for too long and he leaned to see if Axel was asleep but was surprised when he saw that he was awake.

"Babe... Should we go downstairs and eat or should I go and bring the food? I'll do what you say..." he said slowly and his boyfriend got off his chest.

"Let's eat here... I don't wanna leave the room yet" he said looking at Evel with those ocean eyes which always seemed like they were holding a much.

"Okay... Lemme go and bring it okay?" he said but Axel refused to let him go. He held on to him and Evel understood it.

He was wondering how to ask for the food if his boyfriend didn't want him to get off the bed even for a second. As if God was answering his prayer, there were knocks again.

"Sir? Are you asleep?" this time it was loud and it was as if to wake him if he was sleeping.

"Yeah get in..." He said and she got in immediately.

"Uhm... Sorry about this... What did you prepare for supper?" he asked the house help.

"I prepared ramyeon, Mr. Chin gave me a list of the foods you like..." she said kindly.

"Is that okay? Will you have it? " Evel asked Axel.

"Sir, I can prepare him something else if that's not his favorite... I'm sorry I forgot to enquire about him... I'm truly sorry sir" the woman said again kindly.

"No it's fine.... I'll have it" Axel answered before Evel could say anything.

"Just get it then," Evel told the house help and she left the room after a bow. It didn't take long and the food was brought to them. He just felt like Axel didn't have to do anything because he was willing to do it for him. He spoon-fed him like a little baby and he couldn't be anymore happier when feeding his boyfriend like this