Chapter 15

The afternoon delight for Beau was the sunlight bedroom, the white bamboo sheets that were so comforting to his skin, and the gorgeous woman laying naked in them. He laid along side her, his body pressed up against hers. He never wanted to lose a moment that he could have his skin melting against her own.

"Tell me about you," he cooed into her ear as he continued to kiss any spot that his lips could comfortably reach. It was his manifesto to make sure she knew how loved she was by him. Anything to make up for the bad week of judgement he's bestowed upon her.

"Don't you know who I am?" Victoria laughed.

"I want to know everything about you. You've never told me anything about your childhood."

Victoria got silent. She hated these kinds of questions.

"You're from Edmonton, right?"

"Yes."

"That's it? You're from Edmonton? What about your parents?"

"Yeah, they're from Edmonton, too. My mom works as a secretary. My dad, he's a electrician. They're still together."

"How often do you visit them?"

"Not very much. I'm not very close to them, or any of my family."

"I'd love to meet them one day."

Victoria closed her eyes and cursed silently in her mind. "I'm most certainly not ready for anything like that. Beside, I have no time to travel."

Beau was slightly hurt at this commentary. Wasn't she as in love with him as he was with her? But he knew having her in his life in any capacity was better than no Victoria at all. He wouldn't push her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

"What was your childhood like?"

"It was…" she paused and wondered what to say. "It was decent. I had a normal childhood. I don't have any siblings, but I was content on my own. I guess that's why I'm such a private, quiet person to this day. I'm not used to sharing my life with anyone."

"I'm honoured you let me in," he smiled and squeezed her body just slightly against his own. "When did you come to Vancouver?"

"I came here after high school. I didn't like Edmonton much. It's a little too grungy for me. Plus, I wanted a fresh start where no one knew me. I've kept quite the low profile here. I wish to keep it that way."

"Why is that? Did you get into trouble?"

"No, I just…didn't want people talking about me in any manner."

"You're quite private."

"As are you," she corrected him.

"This is true. But you're the one person I do not wish to be private with. I am glad you decided to move to Vancouver. I came here for the same reason everyone else does, excitement. I love this city, it's so beautiful. But I don't have to tell you that it doesn't rival you in the slightest."

"I feel the same about you. You're the most handsome man I've ever met, or been with."

"How many men have you been with?"

Victoria pulled away and sat up. "What are you insinuating?" She began to fear he may know more about her than she wanted him to. Did he find out where she worked?

Beau also sat up and began retracting immediately. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it that way. I don't know why that came out of me. I'm just, a really jealous person. I think I'd die just imagining that you were ever with anyone else. I have managed to convince myself that you were a virgin when I met you."

"How many women have you been with?"

"Uh…."

"Exactly. It's a weird question which is better left unsaid."

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make things awkward."

She felt a gust of relief come blowing by. So he didn't know. She laid back down, and Beau took hold of her waist again, supposedly comforting her in an apology. She had to change the subject, so she told him what he wanted to hear.

"You want to know about my childhood. I was happy, but quiet. I was content with nothing, and I suppose I always have been. I read, a lot. I didn't have many friends, I wasn't popular and I sure didn't socialize with kids at school. I was a straight A student, but I suppose it was because I had nothing better to do. People called me a weirdo because I was so anti social."

Victoria sighed with a great heap of joy. For the first time, she got to tell him something about her past that was true.

"And when you were a little girl? Tell me about those days."

She paused for a moment to cook up a good reply.

"Like any Canadian child, I loved the snow. I played in it by myself for hours. My mom would come out and check on me occasionally."

She pictured the social worker stepping outside to look at her and ask her if she was done. So maybe it wasn't her mom, it was still the truth.

"I made snow women, I was a young feminist," she snickered. "Mom and dad would come and make snow men with me. Then we'd go back inside, drink something warm and watch Edmonton Oilers hockey."

"I love that. What was your favorite part?"

"My favorite? I suppose I really enjoyed it when other people read to me. My mom would read stories to me before bed."

"That's beautiful, sweet heart. I love to hear about who you are. I want to know you better than I know myself. When was the last time you spoke to your parents?"

"It's been a while."

"Maybe you should contact them."

"I'm not ready for that yet. We had a big fight."

"About what?"

She was getting tired of making up excuses, but she knew she had to tell him something just to stop him from proceeding with this notion. "I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to tell you that Beau."

"Oh, okay. Well, whenever you're ready. I'm here for you, always."

"I'm here for you too, Beau."

After the speech Beau had made last night about how he wished things could be simple, she felt like a giant hypocrite. Now all of his cards were on the table, and she was the liar. She didn't divulge the most basic things about herself to him, her work, and her family. Her head spun at what a mess she too was creating. The only comfort was knowing that in a few months it would all be over with, and it would be the past. She could keep up the facade for a short while, surely.

"Come over after work, if you can," Beau text her that night. She'd left a few hours ago, and Beau had spent his evening grading assignments and reading his own assigned curriculum. He would add a new book to his class schedule every semester so that he too was learning something new.

"I'm on my way over now."

Beau smiled, his heart revving at this reply. Any time, no matter how often she said she was coming over, made him so happy. He hoped this feeling of excitement to be around her would never go away, and he was quite positive it never would.

Thirty minutes later, Beau had set the scene for what he hoped would be just the start of making up to her the hurt he'd put her through. When she stepped through the door, he kissed her and removed her light coat, placing it on a rack.

"Why don't you go lay down, and I'll be in, in just a minute. Are you hungry at all?"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks."

As Beau saw her step into the bedroom, he picked up the two cups of hot chocolate he'd prepared, then carried them into the bedroom. He set down a cup and handed her the other.

"My love," he smiled. She accepted the cup with surprise. What was he doing? She was even more surprised when he flipped on the light, pulled up a chair, and held up a few books. "What would you like to hear this evening, Victoria?"

She was nearly ready to cry. She wasn't sure what was was more tear jerking: the fact that she'd made the entire story up, or that he loved her so much he was doing this for her.

"Anything will do," she whispered. Beau smiled before kissing her on the forehead, the cheek, and on her sweet lips. "How about I'll be a good professor and read you the first chapter of your next assigned book? That way you can't say I didn't help you in class."

"Sure." She laughed at this, taking a sip of her drink as he began to read. Beau picked up his copy after placing the other books down, and began reading. She was so touched by this. It was such a simple gesture, yet it spoke volumes about his feelings for her. She tried her best to enjoy this and not think about her clouds of guilt hanging overhead. She knew soon enough, the lightning would strike and a storm would surely explode.

#

Beau and Victoria sat outside on a patio even though it was mildly brisk outside. The two enjoyed sitting outside and being a part of nature even in its most brutal state.

"I can't believe the semester is almost over, just a few more weeks and I won't get to oogle you in my class anymore. I'm going to be horribly saddened come mid December. But I thank you for helping move the semester along. I really don't know what I'll do next term. I may fail you just to keep you as my student."

Victoria laughed at his loving comments, his playful smile, and his overall smitten-ness for her. He couldn't have been more loving or devoted. She sincerely had expected that his over the top feelings would wane over time, but they hadn't in the slightest. Victoria was positive that he was the love of her life. Therefore, it still burned her incessantly that she was keeping such a huge part of her life from him.

"I can't wait to graduate. I have so much hope, even in this dark economy."

What Victoria truly wanted to say was that she couldn't wait to quit working as a stripper so she could truly feel at ease with Beau.

"You'll do fine. Anyone who passes up the opportunity to hire you is purely insane. I would tell you go on as a teacher, but you see how much I loathe it. And I wouldn't want some young scholar to steal you away from me."

"Hey Madison!"

Victoria's inside went tossing around like a tornado had just taken ahold of her. No! It couldn't be happening.

The voice got louder. Victoria tried to stay fixated on Beau's glow, his simple smile. His mole on his cheek. His growing red strands. Anything but the man coming into view from behind, waving at her.

"Madison!"

She felt her cheeks burning and quickly looked down at the menu, hoping he'd get the hint not to address her as Madison, the alias she used at the strip club.

The man approached the table, getting far too close for their comfort.

"Can I help you?" Beau looked up at the man to his right.

"Never thought I'd run into Madison on the streets. How are you? You look great in clothes too!"

Victoria decided she would pretend she didn't know who he was. Even though he was a regular at Sapphire Reserve.

"I believe you are mistaken, my name isn't Madison," she spoke up, looking at Beau to make this comment clear before turning to face the patron. She hoped the dead stare in her face made it clear to go away.

"Oh do you not use that name in public?"

"What are you insinuating?" Beau intervened.

"Come on, you know me! I buy a lap dance from you every week!"

Victoria nearly spit out the water she'd just guzzled down in hopes of drowning her fears away. She couldn't believe he had the audacity to say this in front of Beau. Beau was irked himself, looking at this accusing gentleman with a glaring threat.

"Excuse me, my girlfriend is not a stripper, and her name isn't Madison. You clearly have mistaken her identity. My girlfriend wouldn't stoop to such a low brow defeat, she's a masters student."

"Oh, wow. My mistake. But your doppelganger is somewhere here in Vancouver, and she works at the strip club."

"It's okay. I've been mistaken for this woman before actually," Victoria covered up just to make her point more believable. "Have a good day, sir."

Victoria watched as he walked away, but it did little to ease her now that her truth was out there. Except fortunately, Beau was none the wiser.

"Can you believe the nerve of that man? How dare anyone insinuate that such a beautiful creature as yourself would stoop to such a disgusting means of survival. I hope he didn't offend you my love," Beau grabbed her hand across the table.

"Not at all. I guess I should just be flattered that I am as attractive as a stripper."

"That's nonsense. You have far too much charm and dignity to be a whore."

Beau took a sip of his coffee and picked up the morning paper before them, looking for the cultural section. "Do you want the sports section so you can see how the Canucks are doing?" Beau asked.

"No, I don't feel like reading," she monotone-ly spoke. Beau didn't seem to notice how lost she looked, how frightened and taken aback she was. It was clear. His attitude on strip clubs was as solid as his feelings for her. The only warm thought about this was knowing he would never stop by and catch her red handed. Yet still, to hear his commentary only further fueled her fear, and reminded her that she could never tell him the truth. True he loved her, she knew he loved his reputation and morals more.

#

"I saw your doppelganger yesterday at a coffee shop. I really pissed off her boyfriend," her regular spoke as she danced for him.

The club was in full swing, women parading around the room in thong and bras that were being unclipped every minute. White men in black suits sat across the venue, admiring the young women that showed them everything they had to offer. Victoria straddled her client, down to just her red panties and make up. She was inches from his face and ready to make her point clear.

"Look, that was me. But my boyfriend doesn't know. Please, please don't go telling people I give you lap dances next time you see me in public! I mean, come on!! Why would you even think to do that?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. To be honest, I was a little drunk from the night before. How have you kept that from him?"

"He'd dump me so fast. He's a rich socialite and he'd be completely ashamed of me. I'm going to quit as soon as I graduate, so I won't have to tell him about any of this."

"I'm sorry, I guess I probably should have thought that one through. What is your real name?" he asked.

"Like I'm going to tell you that, you started talking about how I give you lap dances in public! I know you're having a hard time meeting a woman, and I think the first thing you should do is learn what you shouldn't and shouldn't talk about in front of strangers."

Victoria didn't just give lap dances. She also offered up advice to her regular customers that asked her why meeting a woman was so hard. She tried her best to give honest feedback in hopes she could help. What she really wanted to tell them was to stop coming to a strip club, stop expecting every girl to be a model, and stop being so judgmental to woman who weren't as attractive as they felt they were worth. At the very least, dolling out advice made her feel less guilt about her job. She could write it off in her head that she was an at an internship for psychiatry. Here she was learning what made woman become strippers, and why men felt like their only option for sexual gratification was to come here.

She was working all weekend, and she'd lied to Beau about her whereabouts. She first explained she had a lot of homework, had some errands to run, and did have two shifts for the weekend. He didn't seem to mind, as he was busy himself. The semester was winding down and both professors and pupils had much preparation for finals. It was only Thursday night, and she'd have to survive 4 nights of stripping without getting caught.