True Beginning (1)

I decided to take the week off.

It was unusual of me, I know. I'd been nothing short of a workaholic since coming to this world, but I felt like I deserved a break after everything that'd been going on.

Damien refused to leave my side, no matter how I tried to convince him. He lingered around in any one of his forms, just… waiting. As if his only purpose was to jump to do my every command. At one point, I had a conversation with him about it.

"Damien," I started, somewhat nervous about bringing up the subject, "Do you really enjoy being around me all the time? Aren't you just doing it because of some destiny you didn't even get to choose?"

I still had a hard time understanding how Damien could just accept the fact that his birth and life had been decided by somebody else. It really seemed to erase the concept of free will.

"Didn't you ever want to do something else with your life? I for one, am uncomfortable with the idea of being forced into this preordained fate," I added.

Damien took on a rather serious expression.

"I see that despite my previous explanation, you still don't quite understand what all this means to me."

I shook my head no, feeling bad that I couldn't grasp what he was trying to say.

"It isn't that I have no will of my own, master. And the same goes for you. We are still free to do whatever we choose, whenever we choose it. It is not our every action that has been decided by the universe, but the end result."

"The end result?" I asked.

"Yes. Every person, master, is born with a trait about them that is unchangeable. Some people are kind, unable to turn away from those in need. Some are brave, able to face a charging demon without flinching. And some are evil, and enjoy watching others suffer… Everyone is free to do as they please with their lives, but because of who they are, of these traits they cannot change, sometimes a future blooms that is inevitable."

I thought I was starting to gleam an understanding.

"It is like an apple falling from it's tree. No one knows how the apple will fall, or in what direction, but the one thing that is certain is, the apple will fall. It has no other choice, that is the way of nature."

"I see." I said, and I did.

To Damien, staying close to me was natural. As natural as breathing or eating. Things we all did to stay alive, even if we never chose to need to do them.

After that conversation, I fell deep into thought. About the world, and my future. With the way things were going, I could feel my golden spoon slipping away between my fingers, and my heart began to ache.

I fell sick during my break, and I had to extend my leave to two weeks.

During my bedrest, everyone came to visit me.

First it was Ymir, his brown hair, as usual, greasy and unwashed as he rambled on about some new discovery he'd made practicing his alchemy. And his eyes, sparkling as he did so. I don't think I'd ever stopped to appreciate their specific shade of green before then. Ymir wasn't a bad looking guy.

Then Mary came, in all her force, nagging and yelling about how I wouldn't have gotten sick if I didn't push myself so hard. She really had changed. When I first met her, she was a shivering bundle of nerves with no luster to her existence whatsoever. Now, she was the loudest, most obnoxious child I knew. She was soon to turn eleven years old. I found myself looking forward to her birthday.

And of course, Damien was there with me through it all.

I learned a lot about him, where he grew up, what his parents were like, and apparently his thirteen siblings. I know, his parents must have loved each other very much. We talked for hours about anything and everything, since I had nothing better to do while lying in my bed. It was peaceful.

But there was still an uncomfortable nagging fear, chipping away at the edge of my mind. I figured it was about time I acknowledged the truth.

I had a family here, and I knew, that before I protected my golden spoon, I would protect them first.

All this time, everything I'd been doing was under the pretense of an early retirement. But it was obvious to me now, that there were just too many things that needed to be changed, for the sake of the people I cared about and loved, and for the sake of the empire.

It wasn't that I considered myself some great hero that was going to swoop in and save the day when everyone least expected it. But I felt duty-bound, after taking so many people under my wing, to make the world a better place where I could. And I knew I could. I had the power, I just had to use it.

I thought back to my previous life. I had fought really hard back then, to make a family for myself. For a long time, it felt like I was running away from the edge of cliff, and no one was willing to help me. In fact, sometimes it felt like everyone I knew was using their pickaxes to make the edge of that cliff move closer.

Eventually, I had given up on love altogether. That's why when I came to this world, and I met my family, who once again had no real positive feelings for me, it reinforced my belief that I didn't need people. Instead, I latched onto the next best thing. Money. I knew that, at least, could buy me comfort. And it's a lot easier to be happy when you're comfortable.

But somehow, after coming to this world, love had found me. I didn't have to search for it, or beg for it, it just came. Maybe that is why I'd been reborn. Maybe I'd been given a second chance so I could experience what it was like to have family and friends who really cared.

Then I thought of Isani. The previous owner of this body. And I thought about how he must have been like me. The family he was a part of had never shown him love. He must have been miserable, and must have given up like me. I wondered where he was now. Was he happy now, like me? Had he been given a second chance too? I doubted I would ever know the answers to my questions, but still, I was grateful.

*Thank you, Isani, for allowing me to stay here in your body. I hope wherever you are, you are as happy as I am.* I thought.

I looked towards my open window and felt a soft breeze as it tickled my skin. It felt like he was answering me, telling me it was okay now. That I should live, unrestricted.

And so that's what I decided to do.

Golden spoon or no, I was going to change the world, and most importantly, be happy.

This was the beginning of my brand new, super exciting, life full of adventure!