Obsession: Fight For The Billionaire's Life

Chapter Thirteen

I sat at the edge of my bed and reached for my phone. I hadn't turned it on since yesterday because I wanted to focus on Liam.

Many people may not understand what it is like to struggle with mental health and a neurodevelopmental condition.

As a doctor, an everyday part of my life is seeing people hurting in one capacity and at one degree or the other.

Being there for them and helping them in their time of need while at the same time being very conscious of my own limitations takes a hefty toll many times. Still, it has been gratifying and helped me adapt to pushing my personal struggles to the background. At least until I can be alone.

There are days that I feel incredibly overwhelmed.

This often happens when I am exhausted from a long day at the hospital. Hospital duty for a gifted neurosurgeon means you are a part of almost every major surgery because the doctors do not want to make mistakes that may lead to death or, worse for many, reduce the quality of their life. The implication is that anyone with a photographic memory will be called on, consulted, and made a part of every healthcare process.

These are the days when I've gone without proper sleep or food, and I can feel the weight of my depression and autism pressing down on me.

I feel my head is full of fog, and I can't concentrate properly.

Everywhere I look, when I walk down the hospital corridors, or I walk home late at night or before dawn, or even at midday, I see something that reminds me of my struggles.

I see people laughing and talking, holding hands, and kissing. They live everyday lives, absolutely ignorant of the daily struggles of people like me.

Even at work, because I have received so many recognitions for my research and surgeries, other doctors tend to forget that behind my smile, I struggle with confusing thoughts picked from signals and cues they all send my way, which I find hard to interpret one way or the other.

I take a deep breath and remember that I want to call Ms. Brown. But my thoughts won't let me be.

Many days I stand in front of the hospital, ready to start my day. I do not feel confident. I never do. The voices won't let me be, in truth, the gifted genius, Dr. Emilia Hemsworth, that the whole world knows me at.

My heart pounds in my chest as I step forward. Every day, I know I have to push through this, and I can't help myself because I feel overwhelmed.

I can continue to remind myself that I am here to help people, and I tell myself that this is something I can do.

Everywhere I look, I see people in need of help. Sometimes, walking down the streets, I notice an ailment or a disease in someone. Sometimes, I ignore it. Sometimes, I write the condition and the remedy, and I hand it to the person as I pass by.

I am a doctor because I want to help people, and I can make a difference. With that thought in mind, I take a few deep breaths and step through the hospital doors. I am ready to face the day.

The blinking lights from my phone brought me back to Liam's house. I am in the most beautiful room I have ever seen, with a man I love more than anything else.

They are notifications for messages and missed calls. But they were all from Ms. Brown and Dr. Robinson.

I was afraid Dr. Robinson would ask me to leave Liam's side and return to the hospital, so I decided to listen to Ms. Brown first.

Her cheerful voice came clearly through the speakers, and I let out a deep breath, soaking in her familiar voice, which came like a favorite massage session, seeping the tension out of my shoulders.

"Hi, honey. It has been a couple of days since I heard from you. I miss your voice. How are you doing?"

I smiled and tapped on her following message.

"Hey, Emilia. What's up? Are you okay? Why aren't you answering or returning calls?"

And her last message.

"Okay. That's it! I'm heading for the hospital right now."

Ms. Brown has been the most consistently positive voice in my life, and I have grown to depend on her to keep me emotionally stable.

She had been through all the failures, rejections, and abnormalities since the day my mother gave me up.

I sighed and dialed her number. I could feel a smile come to my face for the first time in days. I felt better.

"Hi, honey."

Her sweet motherly voice felt like a tall glass of iced drink on a mid-summer day.

Tears begin to run down my face, and I cannot speak for a minute.

"Honey? Sweetheart, are you crying? Are you okay?"

I control my emotions and try again.

"I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. It's been a tough few days."

I hear Ms. Brown sigh. "Well, honey, I can imagine what you're feeling like. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really. But remember the guy I told you I met?" I swiped a tear aside.

"Uh-huh"

"I am at his house for two weeks as his personal doctor. But it's just not working, Ms. Brown. Not medically and not in the relationship. I keep making a mess of it all." i

"Did he tell you that or show you in any way that you're messing things up?"

Her voice was soft and encouraged me to open up.

"Well, no. He said I could be myself but I am so scared. Why would someone like Liam want anything to do with me?"

There was silence on the other end. Then Ms. Brown said, "I know it isn't easy, Emilia. And depression may be something you will have to fight every day, but it's important to remember that you have the strength to make it through. You just need to keep trying, even when it gets too hard. Just like now."

"I just don't know if I have the strength."

"Of course you do. You may not see it right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there. You can do this. Take it one step at a time, and soon you'll feel better."

"I love Liam, but I just don't know if I have the energy anymore. I keep asking myself what's the whole point?"

"I understand, sweetie. That's why it's important to pace yourself and reach out for help when you need it. I'm always here for you, baby girl. You know I love you like my own child. And remember that this relationship may be what you've been waiting for your whole life. You have to fight for it."

I put down my phone, unsure if I felt any better or not, but it was nice to know that Ms. Brown was always there for me.

I clicked Dr. Robinson's number without listening to his messages.

"Emilia! Where the hell have you been? Neither you nor Liam have been answering my calls."

Dr. Robinson never used words like that, so I knew something must be seriously wrong. And it must be urgent also.

"Hello, Dr. Robinson." I forced my voice to sound cheerful and hoped it was working.

I hated for my colleagues to sense any of my struggles.

"Hello, Dr. Emilia." He was clearly not happy. "I need you to come into the hospital as soon as possible."

Just what I feared.

"But I can't leave Liam alone. He is still too weak."

"That's exactly why I need you to come in. In fact, we may have to bring him in as well. There's a development. I'm looking at his test results, and I am perplexed by them."

"Can you send them in for me to take a look at? I don't want to leave Liam right now."

"Emilia. You have to come in. This may be good, or it may be bad. I can't tell, but I will need you to help me know what to do next. I'm sending a car over. Be ready."

I dropped the phone on the bed beside me, wondering what it was this time.