Chapter 4: Rogue Wolf

Chapter 4: Rogue Wolf

I bowed my head, hung it low, suddenly feeling rather unsure of myself. My personal practice of witchcraft had always been something that I prided myself on.

Now, I felt as though everything about it was all wrong. As though it were some type of sin, abomination, to be alive at this very moment.

Part of me wanted to curl up and just die. Pass on to the next world. Another part of me felt so enraged that I could barely keep standing.

For as much as I loved and cherished Daddy’s presence among the Sanhedrin, I knew that they had done me wrong in many ways.

Which triggered the more violent side of me.

A cascade of thoughts went flying through my mind.

But all in all, I just wanted to escape the hell, the nightmare that was my mind.

“Why is it so important for you to revere God?” I found myself blurting before I even had a chance to process the thought.

I could see, for a change, the calm exterior on the Sanhedrin member’s face diminishing. I could see quite plainly and manifestly that I had triggered an emotion from deep inside of him.

But as per usual, his silence told me everything.

It told me that the discussion had ended, and that he no longer wished to pursue it further.

“I’m sorry…”

But he had given me the silent treatment, and was out of my room rather quickly, but quietly.

That was when I just about lost all control of myself, and the voices began to step in.

From a pack of rogue wolves, ones that Emanuel had likely known.

And they told me things that I could hardly bear to hear.

Things that agonized me, put me in so much pain that I could hardly bear to be alive in that very moment.

I was told that my father had never loved me, that he had purposely lied to me all these years, solely for the sake of manipulating and degrading me.

I was told that nothing I could do or say would ever save me, that my heart would always remain empty and lost.

Bleak and shallow.

And the voices spoke so directly, so clearly and audibly to me, that it grew to the point where I began to violently tremble.

Tremble, and run to the door.

I coughed, and somehow managed to suppress it while I raced down the steps.

Thankfully, the wolves either had not heard me, or had chosen to openly ignore my presence, as I knew that it was quite evident that I had left my bedchamber and made my way to the kitchen.

But as quietly as I knew how, I began to rummage through the kitchen drawers, searching endlessly for a knife on hand.

Sadly, however, one of them interrupted my search with a firm grip on the shoulder.

“What are you doing?” He asked softly but strongly, his voice both firm and unwavering.

“Counting…” I muttered softly under my breath. Truly, I felt anxious, but I could not disguise my paranoia and fear.

“You’re lying, Kitty. Please tell me what is wrong.”

I gasped. How had he known my name?

The voices in my head caught up with me again.

They told me that I needed to completely forget about appearances, because my father was actually cruel and deceitful.

So one of us had to break the silence, cold as it was, with the hard truth.

“I’m going to die tonight,” I whispered with a pale expression on my face, knowing in my heart that the words were true… or at least, I wanted them to be true.

But the wolf hadn’t even acknowledged that I had spoken.

Instead, he walked quietly away, likely muttering some unspoken prayer in his head that had fallen on deaf ears.

Nothing new for him, so I wasn’t even sure why he continued to try.

“I am a mockery of God’s creation and you know it,” I shouted into the room he had just strolled into.

But again, he didn’t acknowledge my statements, which I found to be rather puzzling.

Something was clearly wrong.

So I left the kitchen, against my will, and wandered into the room I had so deemed “the throne room” because of its beauty and majesty.

Ornate tiles, glittering with pure gold, danced beneath my feet as I entered into his humble chamber. I had always longed to change the décor in this place to something far more serpentine, more ghostly.

But I had little to no say in matters concerning the appearance of my father’s place- which was, essentially, his own private property.

Scanning the room, which was filled with silver and bronze statues of Mary and Jesus, and other such items that could be deemed as “idols”- I searched endlessly through the long corridor for my father.

He must have taken great lengths to move as far away from me as possible, for it took me quite a long period of time to discover his presence.

Frowning thoughtfully, I stared at him as he lay sprawled across the floor, Crucifix in hand.

I was done for.

“I have already informed Emanuel of the error of your ways,” the wolf whispered darkly as he snarled at me from afar. “I have warned him to stay away from you.”

“And what would be the ‘error of my ways’?” I retorted back as though I knew what I was doing, what I was saying, to whom I was speaking.

“You know. Your deep, dark little secret. About how you… We know who your father is. We know exactly who he is rumored to be.”

And with that, he turned on his heel, fangs protruding as he abruptly exited.