Why divorce?

[Clayton POV]

I looked at her eyes, they were red, she had been crying, I know this is probably the hardest decision she has ever made, but it is the wrong one.

"No," I say firmly, she has to have lost her mind if she thinks I am going to even let her go.

"Please" she plead, "I am no good for you Clayton, you deserve so much better."

"I get to decide what I deserve," I reply coldly, I feel so angry, she is hiding something from me and instead of telling me she is choosing the highway.

"I am a disgusting woman, you are too great to even be with me, I have scars all over my body, I was assaulted, and I am filthy...."

"Shut up," I shout, I hate this having to argue to her about this.

"I do not care who you are, but you have no right to talk about my wife like that, she is an amazing woman." I speak angrily.

"She is a survivor, she is really kind, the most beautiful woman in this world, the kindest the sweetest and she is the smartest woman I know, she is even greater than I could ever be."

I hate how she doesn't know how great she is, "I don't care who you are even if you are my wife, you have no right to talk bad about my wife."

"Clayton this is for your own good," she shouts frustrated, "if this is about Zoey, I can give you custody, you don't have to pay me any alimony…..."

"Kaleah Beckett, I told you to stop, stop putting yourself down, and stop even thinking you are going to get this divorce because you are not," I say.

I moved close to her, I scooped her up for a hug, and though she is hesitant she gives in.

"Come on, tell me what is really the problem, do you hate all men after what that monster did to you? If it is because you think you betrayed me, please don't you never betray me."

She starts crying in my arms, "I…... I am pregnant."

The world stops, time doesn't seem to move, what? How? This, this is too much of a burden for her to carry alone.

"See…. This is why I opted for divorce, it is better that way," she says, "I tried getting rid of it today, but I can't, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it."

She starts heavily crying in my chest, "I know the baby is a part of him but…... I can't get rid of it. I am so sorry."

I don't even know how to respond, my eye catches the bright sign in the building, of course, she came here to get rid of the kid.

"So, let just separate okay," she says, I can't think straight, "how do you know he is the father?"

"I am only a month pregnant," she replies pushing me off her, I feel my heart stop beating, it is not her fault, she didn't ask for this. Why am I even thinking of judging her decision?

"So, you want to keep the baby?" I ask, still feeling disorientated.

"Yes," she mutters. I don't hate her, not even a single inch of my body hates her, but the child inside of her is another story, I hate it, innocent or not it is still the result of the pain and suffering my wife went through in the hands of Ellen Mule.

"Okay, guess we are having a baby then," I mutter bitterly, I can't abandon the woman I love in her worst, can I?

'As much as the fetus is a part of that monster it is a part of my wife too,' I tell myself.

"No, please don't do this to yourself Clayton, this will be too much for you, for your reputation, just let me go."

Divorce my wife for falling pregnant after being sexually assaulted or stay with her and raise a child that is not mine.

It is probably hard for most men to think of raising a child brought in this type of way, but I would choose my wife in a heartbeat, even though it is painful, I would still choose her.

"We will all need therapy, but I am sure we will get through this," I say.

Do I think we would get through this? I don't know, but I want to try, I want to try and get through this with her.

"I don't think you should......" why is she trying her best to break this off.

"Can we first think about this, I think you are speaking on impulse," I advised.

She chuckles bitterly, "our whole marriage was on impulse Clay."

"Good impulse, Kaleah please, you cannot just ask for divorce because you are pregnant with that fool's child, you need me more than anything, you need the support."

She continues to cry, I know she is only saying this because she is scared, she tends to want to run when she is scared, understandably so, but not very effective.

"Look at me," I say adjusting her head so I can see her eyes, "I am okay with raising this child with you, we are a team."

"But…." "this is my decision to make, I love you, I love you so much that losing you through this would break me more than you think raising this child would."

She bites her lower lip, I know she wants this relationship to work just like I do, but fear and guilt would not let her, "I love you too," she says.

"Let us go home okay, we will go to the hospital tomorrow to know more on how to protect our child okay," she looks hesitant, but she nods.

I don't even know how we are going to get through this, but I will do all in my power to keep this woman from walking out my life.

I texted Conan to let him know that Leah was safe, I don't want to tell the family of this new development yet. We need to figure things out first then we will tell them.

I stopped for a drive-thru knowing she probably hasn't eaten in so long, given she is pregnant we need to think of the baby now.

I now know why she has been distant, that is why she kept her distance after her hospital visit, she must have been scared.

We get home a little late, Zoey is already asleep and tucked in and everyone else is in their rooms. I run Kaleah a bath because I know she needs it and gets ready to sleep.

She slips into her night gown and heads to bed, I enter the shower, letting out all the emotions.

I can't stop crying, I feel like I am being tested, in all the wrong ways, as much as I love my wife, I hate the child she bears. I hate that it is not mine, it has that man's DNA in it.

This decision marks the hardest tribulation our relationship is to face, how do I love the child that is the fruit of my wife's suffering, how does she herself love this child, because I know it would be hard for her to do so.

But I know I would be a fool if I let this ruin my marriage, I am willing to fight, I am willing to love a child that might grow to be our enemy, I am willing to embrace the mother of said child with nothing but love.

'We will get through this, we will look back at these days with only smiles one day,' I tell myself.

The family's reaction would be mixed, and they might even rebuke us, the media and public ought to insult my masculinity like they are already doing.

I used to think I was a man when I took over the company at 20 without fault, but this marriage made me more of a man than anything could, who knew marriage could be this challenging.