The Pain Goes Through The Life

[Chapter 2 : The Pain Go Through The Life ]

Heyy..

Is the World Fair?..

Or is the world unfair?..

Oh.. or is the world only fair to a few people or to certain people?..

And if the world is fair, why do I feel this way?.

here... here... here... it's ridiculous.

sigh... I don't think even that pain is the thing to describe this stupid question..

at least pain is a daily word for me..

Basically people ask the world...

"How to get happiness?"

They all ask these questions over and over again..

but..

Have you ever asked that question of someone?.

Shouldn't everything be equal?

All have their own rights.

Hey..

Some people even say that the family itself is one of the many things that an individual has...

Some of them even feel deep sadness over the loss of a member of their own family..

Dan..

Some also feel alienated.. from their own families.., the family that they have considered like a house that can accommodate all their sadness and grievances..

They also feel like they are part of something they care about.

Sure..

I'm no exception..

I'm glad I had a family like this while I was alive..

Even for myself, my family is included in one of the things that I really love once in my life..

In fact, I think family is the main thing and priority for me in this life.

And of course I don't feel disappointed for my family because they are the people I love the most..

Even if they ask for help or assistance in a critical and urgent moment or something else, I am willing to be ready to help them regardless of what they see of me.

Even if they scold.. I don't think they hate me because from a young age I myself felt the upbringing of my two beloved parents..

Because for me personally if I get scolded it means that I did make a mistake and have to fix it and don't think about strange things when they scold me for some things..

Although sometimes they understand me for some of their own mistakes..

I smiled..

Will always smile...

And smile....

Whether they like me or not, they will not hate me..

Because to me they are all important..

Am I being too hard on my family?.....

Hmm....

I don't think so.

Because somehow the family itself has become a part of my life and has its own place in my heart..

No matter how much they hate me, how much they hate me, how much they hate me.. as well.. how angry they are with me..

I always assumed they were all what I knew as "family".

But.. Does that mean anything?..

Do I deserve to be rewarded for everything I have done?...

Dad, Mom.. I still remember all the things you taught me when I was a kid..

I still remember what you said about life..

And I believe every word, every letter that you put out of your mouths.

Then what happened to me this time.. Is this proof that I am not something that can be expected of you??..

Am I so rubbish that you-all of you do all these things to me??..

"Son.. if one day you encounter difficulties in your daily life, then do not despair about it, but keep trying to achieve your goals.."

Wasn't that what dad told me about how I should stand on my own two feet when I was in trouble..

Are all these things that I have experienced not a result of your teaching?..

Am I wrong to follow what you have taught me from childhood until now?..

Am I not able to fulfill what father wants?..

...

...

...

Mom..

Isn't that important to you mom??..

I still remember the things my mother taught me as a child..

About how we should honor an elder..

How we respond and restrain our emotions when we are humbled..

How do we help others without expecting material or physical retribution for what we have done..

Isn't that what you always say?..

"Do not feel yourself above everything that exists, because on the other hand there will always be someone who exceeds yourself".

Do you not remember that and other things?..

What is the use of all this?, isn't it supposed to make my life a better and useful one for you guys?.

Does all the work I do for you not make you look in my direction in the least?.

Is this whole process just a lie from what I've been through all this time?.

Am I less grateful for the things I have right now?..

Or..

Do you hate me so much?..

It's been my presence all along.. no meaning in your life?....

Dad..

Mom...

Uncle..

Aunty..

Grandpa..

Grandma..

My brothers..

Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!..

Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!..

Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. Everybody!!.. All..!! Everybody!!..

All the things I have done to you in the days that I have been through..

As a sign from me of what you have taught me..

Even if I made a mistake, I wouldn't deny it..

What if someone else made that mistake? shouldn't they also deny it?..

So why do they get these things without admitting their mistakes??..

Aren't they guilty?..

Why are you all so attentive to others?..

Why do you care so much about my other brothers?..

Why Have you never seen me?, and never pay attention to me?..

Why do you trust others so much more than me?..

Why do you trust others so much for the things that are important to you compared to me?

Why don't you all ever believe in me?..

Why do you think I am wrong in this world and in your life?..

Why!! Why!! Why!!

Why!! Why!! Why!!

Why!! Why!! Why!!

WHY DON'T YOU EVER LOOK AT ME!!!!...

WHY DO YOU KEEP REJECTING MY PRESENCE??!..

YOU'VE NEVER EVEN NOTICED THE PROCESS I'VE BEEN THROUGH!!!...

ONE TIME!!...

JUST ONE TIME!!!..

...

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!....

WHY DO YOU ALL LOVE DOING THIS??..

HAHGHHKHHH!!!!!!!!!....

A-what..

What.. have you ever felt pain that you can't even describe??..

Is everything you've been telling me all this time just a lie you made up?..

Even as long as I am alive today, I have never once thought that you are evil to me..

Where Are you all going?

Where Are you Dad..?

Where Are You Mom..?

Where Are You Uncle..?

Where Are you Auntie..?

Where Are you grandfathers and grandmothers..?

And Where Are you my brothers..?

I always help you when you're busy..

No matter what you do I am open to helping you with pleasure..

Isn't that what I've been doing?..

First Brother Second Brother, Third Brother, Fourth Brother, Fifth Brother, Seventh Brother..

Isn't that what I've been doing to you guys?..

Even if you often think of me as silly, of course for me it's just a joke for us brothers..

Are you all so in denial about all the things I've helped you with? And you're using it all for your own personal gain?..

Do you not realize the things that exist that I always help you both personal matters and matters concerning the family company..

Starting from matters about member management, family financial management, management of the company's future goals, meetings with investors, and meetings about the company's calculations with other rivals..

As well as Affairs outside the company and your personal affairs..

Haven't I always been there for you?..

Why do you deny everything so much?..

Even if I always help you guys, I myself still take care of my personal life as well..

Both my personal and educational and Social Affairs..

Never once did I forget my family..

Not once..

And to you, my friends and my best friends and those I love the most..

Am I not important to you, too?..

Am I just an ordinary person you know?.

Don't we have a relationship with each other?...

Am I proud of my family for you?..

I don't think so..

Every moment we spent together, it was one of the happiest things for me..

And I think you feel the same way..

So why do you deny that?..

Is the whole thing that we've done together a lie or nonsense to you guys?..

I always give you my time if you want something..

It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, we've all been through it and it's certainly with me..

Q-don't all of these things have meaning in your life??....

Am I to you but a wind in a cloudless life, in this life??..

And for the people I love the most...

Don't you remember that we promised never to leave each other and would also try as much as possible to make each other happy??..

Are all the days we spent together lies to you too??..

Our wedding?..

Our Son?..

And Our Feelings?..

Do these things not even have a meaning in your heart??..

Or is it just a lie you've been hiding?..

And for our son..

Don't you feel the love of a mother and daughter in your life?..

With your own son..

Even..

With me too....

...

...

...

Don't you love our son.. a little bit?..

Or is it all about your satisfaction with what you want?..

Why do you trust others so much? than your own husband..

Why???!!!!...

....

....

....

Dan..

For my last question

And the very last..

Have you ever thought about how I feel about everything we've been through together?...

...

This is all just a lie?

The whole life is just a lie from all of you?..

...

Hurt?.. Betrayal?.. Oppression?.. And all my hard work over the years..

What this means to all of you..?

Why??!...

Why??!...

Why??!...

*AGHKKKKKKK!!!!....

...

*AHCKKKKK!!!..

WHY ARE YOU ALL SO SO SO FOND OF THINGS LIKE THIS?!..

DON'T YOU HAVE THAT FEELING???...

* HACKKHHHHKKK!!!!!!!!!!!....

...

Me..

Me.. it's wrong in this life for you..

No matter how hard I try to explain it to you..

You will always say I was the mistake of your life...

Sorry..

Sorry..

Sorry..

Sorry.. for all the time I've been here for all of you..

I'll go if I make a mistake in life..

Even if I leave I guess it's not that important to you guys, is it?..

Ahh..

I see..

AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!

It turns out so....

Here's how it feels.. No wonder you never even looked at me....

...

...

I'm leaving.. even forever... even the end is not the end of where I'm going...

HHAHHAHAHA....

It's ironic and funny all this stuff....

Isn't it fun?..

If indeed I may say to some rich..

I guess.. I'll say...

..

FUCK YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!....

Damn it!!.. Damn it!!.. Damn it!!..

You even left me..

And never helped me..

AHHAHAHAHAHHA....

Really.. You Son Of A Bitch..