I Lost Him!

Reena proceeded towards his room. She crossed the guards over there and silently opened the door to see him sleeping calmly on his bed. She went and sat on the other side of the bed.

Rocky woke up from his deep slumber. And his eyes met her anxious ones.

He was about to ask what made her visit him at this late but she slid into the covers maintaining a decent distance between them.

"I know it is castigated and people will defame. But, I don't care."

She said looking to the ceiling and gaze shifted to him.

May be she felt alone and disturbed with all the happenings. She need some peace.

Her father..., he didn't even dared ask her about Rajendra Desai till now.

He was just going to confront her as soon as he heard the death news but things took a massive turn and she ended up more devastated.

He can understand it is too much for her to handle. But he will think of ways to make her feel good.

Now, his queen needs his attention to the utmost than anyone do.

While she thought that she shouldn't have come here just like that.

Is he judging her for this? She don't actually care about anyone's impressions on her but he is an exception.

Cool Reena. He is Rocky. She calmed her overthinking self.

He slowly lifted his free hand to her shoulder and stopped then, looked at her asking for permission.

Reena threw her arms around his torso making sure to not hurt him. He kept his hand on her head caressing it.

She looked into his deep eyes .This is what she needed till now.

A kind of assurance that it is not the end there is a bright tomorrow ahead and motivation to move on from the past and care to say that she is not alone and loneliness she is feeling is going to disappear.

A tear escaped from her left eye and dropped on this shirt making a dark spot over there.

This lady hides so much inside her. Her eyes resembles the grief engulfed in her heart. He wanted her to share it with him.

"Tell me Shona. What happened?"she looked down and hid her face in his chest.

"Please tell your Raja." He said lifting up her chin with his fingers.

"I don't know how to feel now. I can't really believe that he, my father is no more.

I agree he was not a good person and I never liked his ways then I felt may be this is what he needed, atleast this is what he liked. He was not a best father too but for a me I thought of him as the best, at the end of the day he is MY father.

May be he didn't express the love to me but he had it in his heart. I know that. There were times I felt so angry seeing my mother crying because he never been concerned about us, and I wanted to shout at him that you have made us go through so much agony and so much grief.

But then when I look at his eyes to say that, all I could feel is that he had a concern and love we were craving for but he don't get the time to convey it to us.

He was always busy in earning a good life style for our family that he almost forgot that he was also a part of the family.

He was not a bad person Rocky, it's just that the times had made him bad. Nor he was a good person, he himself entered this play even when he know that he can't turn his back when once entered.

I believe every person is like that. No one is actually pure white or dark black, we all lay in the grey region.

It's just the shades in the grey that we are judged for. When someone is named as bad they are actually a darker shade of grey. That's it. "

She took a fresh tear dripping down her eyes on her fingers as she said

"And this tears of pain will leave dark spots where ever they go" she looked at his shirt with dark marks of her tears.

"Even my father was a lighter shade of this grey until he lost his mother and was left with a father who brought him a stepmother and have put all the responsibilities of the house on his fragile teen shoulders.

Being a sole bread winner he experienced every pain in the Big Bangalore City. This turned him dark and leaded him to search for a short cut to get relieved from this pain. I wish he could know that shortcuts are always dangerous.

I knew one thing that no one is flawless. Even the greatest people do commit mistakes. It's just that when we witness a person's deeds closely we come to know about both his good and bad.

All we have to do, to love a person is to accept their flaws. I did that with my father, I accepted his flaws and loved him.

Today when he left me I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't feel guilty for not giving me father love. I don't keep any grudges. I understood him. He may be a villain for many lives but for me he will always be a hero. Because I knew him like no one does."

Reena is a crying mess till now and Rocky had a mixed emotion whether he should start consoling her for the tears or take a minute to admire her for the thoughts.

Today he felt blessed for being choosen by her as a life partner.

May be his mother saw that he just lived for her promise to get fulfilled and sent this beautiful lady in his way to teach the most beautiful possible way to lead a life.

"Shona, don't cry. He surely would feel very proud of you when you stay strong in these toughest times."

"I lost my father even before I could impress him as a daughter. I lost him before saying that

Papa, you are my hero.

I LOST HIM"

She broke down in his arms.

"No Reena.He will always hear you from wherever he is and You didn't loose anyone infact you got him closer than ever.

That now he get to hear everytime you talk to him because he is nowhere but inside you. It will eventually help you to love him even more." He said caressing her wet cheeks.

"Now don't be a cry baby. You should smile because your love and respect towards your father is going to increase.

Hmm?"

She nodded.

And he kept caressing her hair till she drowsed in his arms.

He had many plans for tomorrow but he now he decided how to start it.