Lost

The chef and the maids seemed to be in a hurry around the castle that day.

Perhaps they were still cleaning up after the lavish party there had been the previous night.

Instead of having someone else prepare me a meal, I decided to help myself.

I filled my plate with fresh fruit and berries and what seemed to be some kind of pastry, as well as a lump of buttered bread.

That was something I could definitely get used to.

The food options where I had lived, had not been nearly this good and I was dying to try out everything they offered in this place.

I thought to myself it would be best to keep a low profile today, as I felt like I had caused enough trouble in the past twenty-four hours, or less.

Before making my way back, I apologized to Zack.

He did not seem too hurt by my sudden decision to eat alone, but went to do the same.

We parted by the staircase by the entrance and so I walked through the halls for quite a while before finding the large door that would lead to my bedroom.

As soon as I got inside, I heaved a sigh of relief.

So much had happened in so little time and I had not given myself a chance to process any of it.

I had not seen Mason after breakfast, neither did I particularly hope I would.

The little disagreement the two brothers had had earlier, was enough for one day.

I went to eat my little plate of breakfast in bed, where I saw something that caught my interest.

Someone had left a neatly wrapped package for me on the edge of the bed, but it did not seem to have come with a note.

I quickly put down my plate and picked up the package to have a better look at it.

It was rather large and heavy and made no sound when I shook it gently.

Disappointing

I pulled off the ribbon that had been neatly tied around it to hold the paper in place and immediately after, let the paper fall to the floor.

What was revealed, was a large, worn book, with golden letters on the front spelling out "Fabulares naturis implicant".

I quickly realized that this had to be the book I had found in the dark the evening before, but never got to look at properly.

Had Zack left it for me?

When had he found the time?

I looked through the book, roughly skimming the pages.

The drawings in it showed various mythical creatures from both older and newer myths and folklore.

I could not help but smile at the kind gesture and I felt a sudden urge to go thank him, completely forgetting about my breakfast.

As I made my way through the room, towards the bedroom door, I felt the familiar sensation on the back of my neck.

Just before my hand touched upon the doorknob, there was a slow knock on the door.

Could it be?

"Come in" I called out.

The door slowly opened and Zack entered.

I had stepped back into the room without noticing and now found myself locking eyes with him in dead silence.

He moved his eyes from me, to the bed with the open book and my plate of uneaten breakfast, before he once again looked at me.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but I interrupted him before he could.

"Thank you"

His eyes widened and he looked confused, so I nodded towards the bed where the book was and then he understood.

He answered with just the hint of a smile.

I could tell that he was truly pleased to see me happy to have received it.

Before I knew it, I went on to spilling all the excuses I had been thinking through since my outburst in the clearing.

"I'm so sorry for lashing out like that, I know you must have some good reason to keep me here and I should respect that instead of being angry with you for possibly saving my life. I'm just so confused, and I have a lot of questions, that's all. I'll do my best to keep them to myself further on and respect your decision that I will be told everything in due time..."

His eyes widened and he let out a strange sound that shared a similarity to laughter.

When he looked at me, I felt a warm fuzzy feeling grow in the pit of my stomach.

The smile he sent me next made me forget everything I had just said and everything I was about to say.

God he was driving me crazy.

"I came here for that exact reason, Stella. My decision to keep you in the dark and my reason to keep you here may have been wrong, but I stand by it. There are however, some things I think you should know, if you are open-minded..."

He had stepped closer to me while he spoke and the short distance that was now left between us was driving me insane.

The tingling sensation was intensifying.

It was as though it had spread from my neck, throughout my body and all the way inside me.

His eyes were turning darker and his breathing had become slightly ragged.

As had mine.

He had to be feeling it too.

My head was spinning and all I could focus on was his eyes and our synchronized breathing, which left me in almost a trance like state.

"Zack... I-"

I muttered breathlessly, and he silenced me with a slight nod and silently replied

"I know..."

I knew in that moment that what I had been feeling for the past few days was not just a trick of my own imagination or some sort of sorcery.

He felt it too.

In my eyes were a thousand unanswered questions and in his were a thousand unspoken answers that he desperately wanted to tell me, but I was not yet ready to hear.

That evening my thoughts were all in disarray and I found myself on the floor, in front of the mirror, where I felt the most connected to my sister, Ara.

I could almost see her pale, fragile face in front of me there.

I saw her through the resemblance of our features, in my own reflection.

At times like this I used to sneak into her room at night and snuggle up to her under the covers.

She would hug me and curl up to me, which would always give me enough comfort and peace to sleep through the night.

I prayed each day that she would forgive me for leaving her there, and hopefully, the day that she would find out that I had lied to her about why I was leaving, she would forgive me for that too.

I brushed my fingertips against the cold surface of the mirror to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her pale cheeks, but her face vanished and left me staring at my own tear-stained reflection.

Pathetic

I once again told myself that by lying to her, I kept her safe from whatever harm that may have come with the truth.

She would stay innocent and naive with the family she had always known and loved, only missing me.

She would be sad but she would survive, which to me meant more than anything else.

They would take care of her.

They would keep her in the dark and thereby keep her safe.

They had better keep her safe or they would be answering to me if I ever found out that anything had happened to my precious little sister.

She was too pure for this cruel world.

A soft knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts and one of the maids, whose name I had learned was Eleanor, spoke softly through the door before peeking inside.

She was the one who usually came to me to either deliver messages, to see if I needed anything or to tell me if my presence was expected at certain events.

She was not very tall, almost a head shorter than me, but she was slender and graceful, and she was very pretty.

She had long chestnut hair and big beautiful brown eyes, that seemed to be able to melt anyone that ever looked into them. She was a little shy of nature but when it really mattered, she was not afraid to step up and say how things were going to be. In my opinion, she would make a wonderful head housemaid someday.

"The master has rearranged the plans for tonight, miss. He will not be expecting you in the parlor for the meeting after all, and he will not be joining you for dinner..."

I was wondering if the sudden change of plans had anything to do with what happened between us earlier today, but I left it at that.

I figured that seeking Zack out to ask why he had changed our plans, would not exactly make things easier, so instead I decided to set up my own plans for the night.

"Thank you, Eleanor, I will join the rest of you in the kitchen for dinner later then"

She nodded and left with a smile on her face.

The staff here was not used to guests being so much around them, so me talking to them and dining with them was a nice change and one that both they and I appreciated.

The following hours, I spent in bed, reading the book that Zack had so kindly left for me in my room earlier.

I was caught up in all the tales and myths, some of which I had heard of before, some that were seemingly based on the same story but changed up a little, and some that were so dark and twisted that I was almost glad I hadn't known about them earlier. The drawings that were connected to some of the descriptions, were so revolting that I could not look at them for too long at a time or I felt that the images could just have come to life before my eyes.

My reading was interrupted by a growling sound.

I had completely lost track of time and when I turned to look out of the window, I saw that the sun had gone down long ago. I quickly put away the book and rushed down to the kitchen where I found Eleanor and a few other maids, still sitting at the table.

I apologized several times for missing dinner with them, but they dismissed my excuses with kind smiles and one of the girls led me to the back of the kitchen, where leftover stew was still on the fire.

I inhaled deeply and let the delicious smell of beef, cooked vegetables and spices fill my lungs.

My stomach immediately responded by growling at me and we all laughed in response.

While I ate my very late dinner, we talked about this and that, which was something I very much enjoyed.

We talked about the party, where one of the maids had been fondled by a very drunk duke, whose wife only had eyes on the flutist in the orchestra.

Another incident had taken place when the young son of a highly ranked judge, got lost in the corridors of the castle and was rescued by one of the butlers, just in time before a group of intoxicated women had their way with him in one of the rooms.

I almost felt sorry for him, but the rumors had told me that he was a bit of a womanizer himself, so in a way none of us were surprised that he ended up in such a situation.

I even knew that a few of the maids, if not most of them, would gladly have taken a turn with him.

If it would not have stained their reputation and cost them their position of course.

I was not usually one to gossip, but lately it had become one of my very few ways to put my mind at ease, and so I had done my best to nourish my gossiping skills.

These would perhaps even come in handy at future festive arrangements, where I would be forced to socialize with people of higher ranks.

Or at least their wives and daughters.

All the talking and eating had made me drowsy, so I ended up excusing myself.

I thanked them all for the meal and let them be off for the night if they wanted to, but I knew that they treasured these moments they had together to just sit down and talk and not think about work or expectations.

The lights had long since been turned off in the castle, which made it difficult for me to find my way back to my bedroom, but I did my best to stay along the walls to keep a little bit of control of where I was heading.

The halls were eerily quiet as we were not many people here in the first place and at this hour, most of the servants had gone to sleep.

The sound of my bare feet against the floor almost echoed and I did my best to walk quietly so I would not wake up any of the servants that slept on this floor.

By now I had memorized most of the corridors and turns, so I could find my way around the castle, usually without having to ask Eleanor or the other maids for directions.

This gave me a feeling of independence, which was a feeling I did not have much, as I was not really allowed to go anywhere or do anything on my own.

Zack preferred for me to be supervised at all times, for reasons I would be told "all in due time".

To his great annoyance though, I had also found some of the secret halls that were hidden in the walls of the castle, which made it easy to escape my assigned 'babysitters', who would then desperately search the castle from top to bottom in order to find me. Usually, I would just be in the library, so it was not like much harm would come to me, but Zack seemed excessively worried about my safety, especially because the winter months were on their way.

I had not done much to argue with him after what happened in the clearing, but he was becoming more strict when it came to what I was and was not allowed to do on my own and it felt like he simultaneously was doing his best to avoid me.

My senses peaked as I heard a loud giggle and a wail from one of the upcoming corridors and I walked closer to the source of the sound.

As I got closer, the tingling on the back of my neck would become more and more intense and I told myself that for my own sake I should ignore my curiosity for once and head back to my room.

I ignored the warning from the little voice in my head, which to my regret soon proved to be a big mistake.

As I edged around the corner, I saw them.

Him and some seemingly loose woman were pressed up against a wall in the far end of the corridor.

The moment I saw them, the sounds stopped, and his face immediately turned in my direction.

I could see that his eyes were pitch black and he almost had a feverish look on his face.

I was unsure how to react to what I had just witnessed and as soon as I got a hold of myself, I ran.

Stupid

Stupid!

He sensed me.

He must have.

I scolded myself for not listening to the little voice in the back of my mind as I kept running through the empty halls, completely forgetting all about the sleeping servants that I had just been so careful to not wake up.

In my confusion, I had lost track of where I was heading, and I soon found myself in the main hall at the other end of the castle.

A certain tingling sensation let me know that he had followed me here, which led my already stirred mind to become unraveled and senseless.

In my mind I begged him not to come any closer to me and to my surprise, he stopped.

I did not bother to think about how he could have known to stop there, I did not turn to look at him, I just stood frozen in my tracks, unable to figure out what my next move was.

A few quiet footsteps echoed behind me as he stepped closer and I immediately ordered him to stay.

"Don't... Do not come any closer to me"

I didn't recognize my own voice as my words were repeated in the echoes throughout the hall.

The words that had come out of my mouth were dry and distorted.

Tears were streaming down my face and I was unknowingly sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

I did not understand any of it.

Why did it make me so upset?

I barely knew the man and I certainly did not love him.

He took another step and I ordered him to stay once again but this time my voice did not come out as more than a whisper, although I had intended to yell.

"Stop right there Zack, or so help me..."

He once again stopped and this time I turned to face him, which was another mistake of mine.

In that moment, I lost myself to him all over again.

Damn it...

I stumbled backward.

Wanted to get away from him.

I ran towards the end of the hall and the grand entrance to the castle.

The further away I got, the more the tingling sensation faded, and I knew I had him cornered.

He had hurt me badly, unintentionally and was now desperately trying to calm me down, well knowing how I felt, mentally and physically.

I could tell he felt it too.

Every part of it.

He knew that if he crossed the line and approached me against my will, I would not forgive him, but he also knew that if he let me walk out of that door, he likely would not see me again.

Surely then he would not be able to ensure my safety, which had for some time now been a high priority of his, but I did not care one bit.

He was torn and this was my chance to make my next move.

I turned and ran towards the exit.

I sure as hell was not going to stay to see what his next move would be, and by the time he had made up his mind, I expected to be long gone.

[Author's note: Please don't forget to vote and leave a review if you enjoy my novel <3 Thank you!]