Not making the same mistakes

Without realising it, I was sobbing into my knees after seeing Lyra, but I was also sitting close to the hall, which meant Lyra could easily see me. 

"Hey, are you alright?" Lyra approached me with a concerned and confused look on her face. I would be too if I saw a girl randomly crying on a patch of grass just outside where everyone is gathering. 

"O-oh yes… I'm fine." I quickly tried to compose myself before looking up, as this was technically our first meeting. If I screwed up this first interaction, then all of this would be for nothing.

'Maybe it's a good thing we don't become friends.' A whisper from the back of my head decided to come out. It was a fair thought, as it would protect Lyra, but thinking about betraying her made my heart ache. We may not be friends yet, but if I reject her now, it will feel like I would have failed Lyra in the previous attempt. 

"Are you sure? Here, take my hand." Lyra offered her hand out, which to me was the deciding moment on what I was going to do. Do I reject it and protect her from dying or do I try to avoid my past mistakes in hopes that she doesn't die again?

'Leave her, you're not worth it.' Again, the whispers in my head were trying to convince me, but I refused to listen. What was I going to do if I rejected Lyra? It will just mean I end up suffering even more than I did before. 

"Y-yes I'm sure." Wiping away the tears, I take Lyra's hand and get off the ground. There was a feeling of surrealness, as not even an hour ago I saw her dead on the floor. 

"If you say so, but we should hurry as it won't look good being late to the entrance ceremony." Lyra gave quite a cold look and a slight bit of annoyance in her voice. It contrasted with her actions, but it proved that she sees me as a stranger now. 

"You're right… I'm Saki by the way." Lyra began to walk off and I followed behind her. I figured I should introduce myself in hopes she would tell me her name, as I didn't want to accidentally call out to her when I should have no idea what her name was. 

However, when I did mention my name, Lyra's ears perked up and she almost stopped in her tracks. It was a strange reaction, which I didn't see last time when we first met. 

"I'm Lyra, what class are you in?" After her strange response to my name, her tone shifted to be a lot softer. I don't know if I am looking way too much into it, but it already seemed like we knew each other. 

'I'm overthinking it. Lyra always had mood swings.' There was no way that she was also transported with me when I ate the apple, otherwise she would have recognised me right away. 

"I'm in Class 1-C." It felt weird going back through conversations I've already had. Part of me thinks this is stupid, as it should already be known, but it isn't. I already foresaw the headache that classes will give, as I've already been through them. 

I guess it lets me slack off, but I don't want to get on the teacher's bad side. 

'Maybe its a blessing in disguise that all the torment happened in the first week.' There wasn't much to repeat, but if I had been half a year into the life, then everything would have felt like a drag. 

'Let's hope I don't ever have to use the apple again.' I clenched the strap of my bag as I was carrying the very apple that brought me back here. There were many mysteries about it that I wanted to find out, but for now, it is my get out of jail free card. 

If something goes wrong or I am about to die, I can quickly take a bite to send me back. 

"We're in the same class then." For a brief moment, I saw a smile appear on Lyra's face, at least I think I did. 

"Oh cool, I guess I'll be seeing you around then... Also, your jewellery is really cool, where did you get it done?" Thinking back to what I said originally, I know I complimented Lyra's style, which I mean genuinely. It is very progressive for this era to have ear piercings as well as any gothic-like clothes. 

Everyone that I saw so far was a mix of old, typical noble clothes mixed with a modern feel. It was familiar yet so different from what I am used to. 

"T-thanks, although it's looked down upon nobles to get them done, I did them myself." Lyra was caught off guard by my comment, but she recovered quickly, giving a little more detail than she had before. 

It seems fashion hasn't caught up to Lyra's era and she is much more of an outcast than I thought. 

"I see, that's a shame. I would get mine down, but with how sensitive my ears are, I don't think I could handle the pain." Once again, I perk up the ears of Lyra, but this time it's a sign that I've made friends with Lyra again. 

She loved geeking out about the different earrings and jewellery she would get, so no doubt showing interest was a quick way to make friends with her. 

"It doesn't hurt that much, but enough about that, we need to find our seats." Our conversation would be cut short as we arrived at the hall, which was already full of students. Conveniently, me and Lyra sat next to each other, which happened to be two empty seats in the sea of heads. 

It was a little awkward, as Lyra expected us to part ways, but we found ourselves right next to each other anyway.

"I guess we were bound to meet anyway, huh?" I wouldn't call it fate, but it really was a coincidence that we were positioned right next to each other. There was some kind of higher existence, so it made me question if they made sure this would happen. After all, if this is just a timeline switch, then there are an infinite number of possibilities that can occur. 

"Perhaps, we will never know." Finally, I noticed Tolverkin was about to take the stand and give his grand speech. I expected pretty much everything to play out the same, as well as the classes. 

Despite being belittled constantly by whispers and the loudmouth Caspian, there was confidence-building within me. After finding Lyra alive, I felt at ease and being able to plan ahead made it a lot easier to deal with. 

I still had my doubts and fears plaguing my mind, but this time I wasn't paralysed by them. 

'Why couldn't I do this in the first place.' However, despite how good I was feeling because I dodged a mental breakdown, it still didn't mean I was fully okay. 

My almost crippling anxiety was still present, as were some other social issues I have. 

'Fuck reality is just crushing down on me now.' My mind finally began to process the kind of position I was put in and it was overwhelming. Just thinking about how my actions will cause a different outcome scared me. I hated not knowing the consequences of my own actions. 

Tolverkin started his speech, but I had already completely tuned out of it. I sat there with my legs shaking as I was lost in thought, thinking about what I should do. 

'Just take this one step at a time. There is no rush to do something so drastically different.' Taking some deep breaths, I was able to calm down and simplify the issue, making it much easier to comprehend. 

I purely focused on the events of today, as I have no idea how my actions today will affect tomorrow. I needed to take things as they came and ensure that I made a better decision than I did last time. 

What I didn't expect right now though, was Lyra suddenly grabbed my hand. She saw that my leg was shaking and held me tightly. 

"It's okay, you'll be fine." I looked up at Lyra, shocked by her actions, as this felt like way too early in a friendship to be doing something like this. 

'It must be a girl thing.' I was also completely ignorant of how girls behave when making new friends so for all I know, this is normal. 

"Thanks." Besides all that, it really helped the nerves settle. 

'Don't get to rel-'

'Shut up thoughts! Let me have this moment.' Of course, this interaction had to be met with negativity. However, I refused to let them echo in my head, as it gave me a sense of peace that I needed right now.