[BONUS CHAPTER]: IT'S OKAY TO HATE ME.

You got into a loveless marriage?" ,the women said, looking like she couldn't believe it however, Roderick's calm aura blazed at what she said. His eyes narrowed dangerously and the woman took it as a warning sign. 'Goodness, I could have been killed just now', the woman thought with relief.

Roderick deep voice sounded, snapping the woman out her thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm tired, Kara. I'm so damn tired of all the hurt, betrayal, everything. I wish I could just....." Roderick groaned as he run his fingers through his thick silky black hair. He had felt like there was a presence around Elena's side but it was so fleeting that he thought his instincts were off.

Elena had long hid behind a pillar. When she heard Roderick say those words, it was like a knife was plunged into her heart. What had he experienced? Who could betray the business devil, Roderick? She bit her lower lip out of habit.

"Camilla....uh I mean, she was just pure evil", Kara said.

"Don't talk about her like that. You can think and feel anything you want about her when I'm not around but in my presence don't. Alright, Kara?" Roderick said, complicated emotions laced his voice.

"God damnit! Rick! You.....you are still in love with that bitchy witch?" Kara stammered as she cursed the woman who was unknown to Elena.

Roderick sighed quietly and shook his head.

"No but it wasn't so long ago since she.... she.." Roderick chocked on raw emotion.

"It just isn't that easy", Roderick said, his voice becoming steely and cold, efficiently suppressing his raging emotions.

"I never said it would be, Rick. But you have to remain strong just like always." She sighed as she patted his shoulder like a father advising his son.

Roderick smiled, an empty, lifeless, broken smile. A smile she had not at all missed when she went abroad.

"Maybe before I could've but now, living in itself is freaking torture for me", as he said this a hysterical smile played at his lips and something unfathomable danced in his grey eyes.

"Do you want a hug?" Kara asked when she saw that look in his eyes. She knew that look all too well. She thought that by the time she would come back from abroad, he would me okay, he would be heal. He wasn't.

Before Kara or Elena could register anything, Roderick smashed into Kara, wrapping his long strong arms around her and burying his face in her silky straight brown hair. Elena stiffen at the scene before her. Kara however, was already quite used to this. Kara had always acted like a big sister to Roderick though she was younger than him.

Most of the time he rejects the hugs though. It seemed as though he was having a tough time lately. Elena was looking down at the woman and her husband who were locked in a tight embrace. A moment later she started walking away and before she knew it, she was back in her room. She waited for the pain to come, any pain at all but she just felt numb, the same as how she felt when she left the room before.

She couldn't even bring herself to get jealous. They were so far from loving each other. She knew that better than anyone. At some point while she was still standing, her wobbling knees gave in and she fell rather gracefully to her knees. Any hunger she felt a few minutes ago evaporated. She had sat in the same position for a while when she heard a knock.

But she didn't even raise her hanging head. Her waist long hair cascaded down, covering her gorgeous face. Another knock sounded but she didn't budge. Then her big door opened and closed after someone walked in.

"Elena", Roderick's deep voice called out to her but Elena didn't even have the energy to raise her head to look him.

"Elena" he said again as he walked closer and knelt in front of her. He raised her head when he cupped her chin with his palm. Looking into her dim sapphire blue eyes, he couldn't stop his heart from clenching.

Her eyes looked dead. Lifeless, cold ,empty, just dead. She was a alive but she wasn't living. Her heart was now only beating to pump blood, no other reason. The only reason she was still breathing was because it was her natural instinct. He was so familiar with these things and he hated that they were happening to Elena. He was familiar with them because he saw them in himself every single time he looked in the mirror. He felt them every single morning he woke up.

His soul was broken and he could accept that but her? Elena? No! He never wanted to see that emptiness in her. He had seen how lifeless she was at the weeding but now it was as if she was eagerly falling into depression and he just couldn't stand it.

"Elena" his voice resounded but as if she couldn't here him, she stared blankly ahead, maybe even unseeingly. "Please, Elena, wake up" his voice was becoming desperate, so much so that it cracked as he talked.

"Roderick" , Elena finally responded but her eyes were still unseeing. "Is it really worth it to live with such pain?"

When she said this, Roderick stiffened, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I know you are hurting too. How did you do it? How did you continue to live cause I don't think I can" She continued.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have asked for a person in the first place." Roderick blamed himself for her misery. Why the hell did he ask for a person? Now here he was with a person who might be just as broken as he was.

"It's okay to hate me. I completely understand if you do.", he said sadly.

"Why would I? You gave him other choices, a way out but he still chose money and power over me. Though I will never understand why would need to buy a wife, no matter what, the final decision was given to Cameron and he chose willingly to....chose to....give me up." She stammered when she said the last part of her sentence.

"He threatened me with nude pictures and videos", as she said this a hysterical smile tugged at the ends of her lips.

"Nude?" Roderick was confused. He was told she was threatened with money.

"Yes. A year ago, I was filmed by my perverted neighbor. The guy....he .....he gave me a lamp for my birthday and told me to put it in my room. I was naive and did as told. We caught him later and Cameron said he had destroyed all the videos and photos. I didn't know he would keep some and used it to threaten me"