OFF-LIMITS

[LUCA]

I was completely caught off guard.

One moment, I was elated by the princess's tiny victory. The next, I suddenly found myself locking eyes with her.

From up close.

Our faces were literally inches apart. Behind those long dark lashes, I noticed there were swirls of deep purple in her sapphire eyes. And are those gold flecks scattered in their midst? They were very beautiful.

But the expression in them was that of surprise. They were widened. At our sudden closeness. I knew my expression was the same.

My eyes inadvertently traveled down her face. I already knew she had pretty freckles, but they weren't noticeable from afar.

Then my gaze dropped to her bow-shaped lips. Soft, and tinted slightly with red. They were parted open. From the shock. Maybe mine was too.

I looked back into her eyes and noticed her staring at my mouth as well.

My heart skipped a beat. And then it resumed at an irregular rhythm.

What? Why?

Her lips were so close.

How would she react if I kiss—

A switch turned on in my brain. Reality crashed down on me.

I pulled away.

"Sorry," I muttered uneasily, clearing my throat.

"No! Why are you apologizing?" Lena gave a nervous laugh. "It was my fault for turning around quickly. I mean… it was no one's fault, really!"

I averted my eyes in shame.

Good work, Luca, I told myself. Now you've just made everything weird.

I haven't done anything wrong. But my thoughts were all wrong.

Seriously. If I hadn't stopped myself from kissing her…

What brought that on, anyway? Prior to that, I never thought of Lena in a romantic way. No. Of course not. She's not a child anymore, but still…

It was a big 'NO' to have those thoughts about the princess. Thinking about her that way would lead to nowhere. To be more specific, if I acted on them, it would lead me to jail. Or beheaded.

How on earth did I get myself into this situation?

"That's enough for today," I said. "The sun's going down. We'll continue tomorrow, Your Highness."

Yes. Adding the proper honorific would remind me of the big gap between our statuses. She is the princess. And I'm just her bodyguard. In fact, I should probably address her properly from now on.

"Fine, Captain Luca," she snapped, emphasizing my title.

I didn't mean to sound cold, but it must be how it came out. I didn't bother correcting myself. Or joking about it to make her feel better, like I usually do. My own thoughts were confused, and I needed to be alone.

We didn't talk much on the way to the palace. She's probably thinking about that unfortunate moment too.

What is she thinking? She's probably disgusted with me. Being that close to her was way over the line. A line I had no right to cross.

And I had the audacity to show her how to handle the bow. That was over the line, too, wasn't it? Our bodies were physically touching! But I didn't put too much thought into it at the time. I was used to training soldiers in the same way. Guiding their bodies to correct their forms was not weird.

But she's the princess, Luca. Of course, it's weird.

Oh no. I shouldn't have done it.

But she would've complained or pushed me away from the very beginning if she wasn't okay with it. Right?

No.

It was still a mistake. I would refrain from any physical contact with her from now on.

Maybe it's not right for us to be alone anymore.

She is a woman now. Not to mention, the Crown Princess. Being alone with an unmarried, lowly man, even if I was her bodyguard, probably wasn't a good idea.

Then again, that was exactly the reason why it was fine for us to be alone. I'm just the bodyguard, in charge of her safety. I was harmless. The King trusted me to fulfill that role.

My only role. I had no other right to be in her life aside from that.

I escorted Lena to the dining hall, where she would dine with Cecelia before heading up to their rooms.

"Your Highness," I said with a bow, indicating my departure.

Lena didn't open the door yet. "Aren't you joining us, Luca?" she asked.

Her question surprised me. I expected her to be angry at me.

I didn't meet her eyes when I responded. "I can't. I have to go back to the barracks to discuss some things with your royal guard," I said. "Your Highness," I added quickly.

Lena's brows knitted into a frown. "Luca, what is wrong with you?" she demanded. "What is up with the sudden 'Your Highness' this and that? Have you eaten something poisonous? Why aren't you calling me by my name?"

"I…"

For the first time, I didn't know how to respond. Normally, I could easily outwit her quips, but I was still torn with guilt about my own thoughts.

"There's nothing wrong with addressing you properly," I said lamely.

"Then, I forbid you from addressing me properly when we're alone," she countered before pushing open the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Luca," she added softly. She gave me a shy smile before turning on her heels.

Did I imagine that? A shy smile from Lena?

A smile that made the memory from earlier come back in full force.

Stop!

Heavens, what is happening to me?

Instead of going back to the barracks, I went out to the woods for a run. A run was refreshing. I need to clear my head.

The woods had multiple trails. I chose a trail that was flatter and better suited for running.

I can't. I can't keep dwelling on these thoughts…

I quickened my pace, flat-out running, until the muscles in my legs burned from not having warmed up. I pushed my stamina to the limits, shedding away my unwanted thoughts behind me.

She's the princess. She's off-limits…

I made it deep inside the forest until my lungs began to complain from the exertion. I absently turned to a rougher, more uneven trail that would take me back to the palace faster. I settled into a slow jog.

Then I saw the tree house. The one I'd built for Lena so many years ago.

I had forgotten that the path led to it.

The tree house looked just as it did before, apart from the weather marks on the wood. I knew danger wasn't an issue. I had built it securely, working with the natural form of the oak tree.

But just to be sure, I inspected the structure from the bottom. All clear. Lena hadn't exactly grown out of this part of her childhood, and she'd always come back here whenever she could.

Like that time months ago, the day after I returned to the kingdom. I had found her inside, with her eyes red and her face puffy. I knew she'd been crying then, but I didn't say anything about it. Besides, she acted a lot more like herself later on.

I've heard whispers in the palace about the princess's rumored love triangle between two princes. I don't take rumors seriously nor get myself involved in them. I believe that one should always hear the truth from the actual party involved instead of believing those baseless rumors.

But were they really baseless?

I'm suddenly wondering how accurate those whispers are. Was Lena really involved in those two princes, like they said? And how deep is her involvement? How far had she gone with—

Stop!

I am such a hypocrite.

Besides, why do I care about the princess's relationships? I don't have anything to do with it. Regardless of her choices, or when she finally gets wed off in the future, my only duty was to support her and be by her side.

But if that man — doesn't matter if he's the most pure-blooded royal on the entire mainland — was to ever lay a hand on her, or hurt her in any way, then I would hunt that bastard down and make him regret it. A hundredfold.

It sounds exaggerated, but that's how much the princess meant to me. I would go to any lengths for her.

I always had that resolve from the start. It wasn't strange at all.

What's strange, is the new feeling that was triggered awake inside me by that little moment we shared today.

I've seen her as a baby. I watched her grow up from a child into a woman. But why had it awakened now? It's so, so weird, like, developing feelings for your little sister.

Oh, no. Even the words were so wrong!

It's even weirder that I'm still thinking about it.

But we're not even related. She's a woman, and I'm a man. Maybe it's natural for me to be… drawn to her… right?

Yeah right, except for the big, obvious reason that she's royalty and you're not.

I groaned.

The run didn't help much after all.

I should change things up. Adding another person to the training may stop me from having these thoughts.

I wonder if Lena will agree to have Cecelia join us tomorrow.