All the World's A Stage, We But Mere Players

On televisions across America, a jingle played as the screens switched from commercials to a popular news show.

"Good evening. I'm Tucker Carlson, and for those that are just joining us, welcome to the show. With us tonight is Wilbur Ross, the Secretary of Commerce in President Trump's cabinet to discuss the harm that Eden and their state company, Hephaestus Industries and Manufacturing are doing to our country. Are we just going to watch as they continue causing harm to our citizens and democracy?"