Devil may cry

"It's not fair to show someone the sun and then banish him from it. Even the devil may cry when looks around hell and realizes that he's there alone."

-Sherrilyn Kenyon

"Okay! I think this might be the worst idea you've ever had" Mishti hissed at her sister-in-law from the passenger side of the silver minivan.

Shruti rolled her eyes at her friend for what seemed like the tenth time that day, "Relax, we'll be fine!"

Mishti huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest while her eyes were fixated on the road, "I don't know how you convinced me to do this. Ronobir will kill us!"

Shruti chuckled, "You will bat those long pretty eyelashes at him and it will all be okay."

"Don't be so sure!" Mishti muttered looking extremely put out and worried.

"Just look how excited she is!" Shruti said gesturing towards the back seat and Mishti turned around to see the cheerful face of the five-year-old Shanaya whose eyes were wide apart, wondrously drinking in her environment through the car window.

Mishti sighed and had to agree with Shruti, if Ronobir was going to be angry with her afterward it was going to be worth it, just to see those brown eyes twinkle with excitement.

Two weeks had passed by since Mishti and Ronobir had shared that blissful day when they had pretended be someone else to escape the horrors that were besetting their lives, but like in life nothing was easy or permanent, two days after an untraceable box with a message from Salim had arrived. Ronobir was losing his mind because the inability to track and get the Russian man aroused a feeling of impotency that he could not abide. He had ordered a complete lockdown on the house and no one but him and his men were allowed to leave the house.

Before that event, Shruti had promised Shanaya that she would take her to see Aladdin in a Broadway production, she even got the tickets but Ronobir had said that it was absolutely out of the question. That had been almost two weeks ago and since then there hadn't been any sign of Salim lurking around them, so Shruti had decided to sneak out for a few hours during the day and take the Shanaya to Broadway.

Mishti had no idea how, but she had found herself complicit in this scheme, so now she was accompanying them in her defiant mission and expecting to deal with Ronobir's wrath once they arrived back home.

"Is Princess Jasmine going to be there?" Shanaya asked excitedly as Mishti took her in her arms, climbed out of the van, and put her on the floor with her little hand tucked securely in hers.

"Yes, she is!" Shruti said with a grin as they walked into the theater.

Mishti's heart was beating a mile a minute with fear as they walked but she tried to stay rational and calm her errant thoughts, Salim hadn't made an appearance in two weeks. What were the odds of him knowing exactly when they were going to sneak out? Besides Mishti doubted that he would try to do something in broad daylight in the middle of Times Square. So she told herself there was no need to be afraid and to just enjoy the moment with the little girl.

Thirty minutes into the show, Mishti knew that it was all going to be worth it, not only was Shanaya almost quivering with excitement, Mishti herself was bowled over and amazed as the fantasy world unfolded itself in front of her for the first time, and when 'A whole new world' started, tears leaked out of her eyes from the sheer beauty of the moment.

"It was the best!" Shanaya shouted as they exited the theater, "I want to be Princess Jasmine!"

Mishti threw her head back and laughed joyously alongside Shruti, "You already are a princess, sweetie!"

Giggling and discussing the show and their favorite moments and the songs, the three girls climbed back into the van and after picking up some pastries from one of Shruti's favorite bakeries, they were on their way back to the Raina mansion. They prepared themselves for the umbrage they were sure to receive from the Raina brothers who were waiting for them impatiently as hell considering the number of phone calls they had made in the last couple of hours.

"I'm going to blame all of it on you," Mishti told her friend while Shanaya slept soundlessly in the backseat.

"Oh don't worry," Shruti chuckled, "I can take it."

A few minutes into the road leading home Mishti saw her sister-in-law getting tense, "What is it?" she asked but Shruti only shook her head dismissively.

"Nothing!"

A frown appeared on Mishti's forehead as she saw her friend taking a wrong turn, "Shruti, the way isn't over there," she pointed out.

"I know!" Shruti said calmly her eyes completely fixed on the road, she made another turn that took her to a more populated area of the city.

"Shruti, what is going on?" Mishti asked, her heart beating wildly in her chest because she was certain that her sister-in-law's behavior wasn't normal.

"I think we're being followed," she muttered and Mishti's eyes widened in response, "Don't freak out. Look behind, there's a black suburban. It's been behind us for a while now."

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Mishti cursed, "I knew this was a bad idea!"

"No time to start making accusations," Shruti told her and for the first time Mishti detected the nervous edge in her voice. "Dial Ronobir and put him on speaker."

Mishti wasted no time and took her mobile out of her purse and immediately did what she was told. The phone rang exactly twice before Ronobir's angry voice started bellowing, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Ronobir calms down," Shruti intervened. "We need help."

"What happened?" he said with a sudden shift in attitude, as soon as he heard the worry in his sister-in-law's voice.

"Someone's following us," Shruti said and Mishti looked behind to see if the little girl in the backseat was still sleeping; she was and she hoped the girl would remain that way until they managed to get back to the house. She was still too young to be caught up in all of this.

"Where are you?" he asked in a clipped tone. The sound of doors slamming could be heard and Mishti let out a sigh of relief at knowing Ronobir was going to come to get them.

"We're right in front of St. George's market," Shruti said. "I'm trying to stay on busy streets but that makes it impossible for me to get to the road toward the mansion."

"Head in direction of Boerum Hill," Ronobir instructed. "We're fifteen minutes away." Shruti nodded even though her brother-in-law couldn't see her and did as he instructed. "Try to lose them off St. Mark's avenue and then head in the direction north so you can get into the highway."

"Okay, got it!"

"Mishti..." Ronobir whispered, his voice filled with worry and emotion "Turn on the locator on your phone so we can track you, Shruti you turn on the one in the car." Ronobir bit out and both girls felt dumb and embarrassed for what they had allowed to happen.

Shruti did as Ronobir told her and breathed a sigh of relief when she looked behind and saw that the suburban was no longer behind them. "I think we lost them." she talked on the phone.

"Good, we're a few minutes away now."

Shruti put her foot on the gas and tried to drive as fast as she could without risking an accident. Mishti looked back to see Shanaya and that's when she saw that the black SUV had reappeared and seemed to be headed toward them at full speed.

"They're right behind us," Mishti's voice dripped with fear and she could hear Ronobir cursing in the distance.

"Speed up Shruti!" he said through clenched teeth. Mishti glanced back to make sure the sleeping toddler was alright.

"How far are you Ronobir?" Mishti's voice quivered as she spoke.

"Just a few minutes, baby girl."

It seemed as if everything around her was moving in slow motion, Mishti glanced back and saw the exact moment the black SUV hit their vehicle. She felt the blow and heard Shruti's squeal as she lost control of the van and they went skidding off the ground.

Mishti's head bumped against the window and she felt a trace of hot blood running down the length of her cheek but she didn't dwell on it. After checking to see if Shruti was okay, she unstrapped herself from the seat belt and turned around to pick up Shanaya who although crying was luckily completely uninjured.

"We need to get out of the car," she heard Shruti's voice as she watched her reaching for a gun stashed in the glove compartment.

Three men dressed in all-black stepped out of the SUV that had just hit them but as they started to approach them the screeching sound of another car was heard and Mishti and Shruti had to duck down inside the car as gunshots started to rain behind them.

Shanaya cried more loudly so Mishti held her to her chest while trying to comfort and keep her calm. She watched Shruti stepping out of the vehicle and sighed when her friend told her everything was all right now. Mishti followed her friend's example and climbed out of the car just in time to see the bodies of two of the men chasing them and the third one being dragged into the car by a raging Sikander.

"Are you two out of your fucking minds?!" Mishti heard the fuming voice of her husband and directed her eyes toward his enraged form walking towards them. "Do you have an idea how stupid you were?!" Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Shruti and Rishabh in a heated argument but couldn't hear what they were saying because unlike his brother he was speaking in heated whispers.

"I'm sorry okay!" she cried as he stood in front of her, Shanaya was still crying and her little hands were clutched around Mishti's neck. Ronobir's eyes went to her and practically ripped her out of Mishti's arms into his, he kissed the side of the child's head and pressed her into his chest while his eyes looked at Mishti with a mixture of anger and fear. "I could kill you myself Mishti Raina!" he muttered before extending his arm and pulling her into his embrace as well. "Don't you ever do that to me again," he whispered against her skin as he prepped kisses all over her face. "You scared the shit out of me Mishti."

Shanaya was only whimpering now as Ronobir held them both in his arms. Mishti wanted to smack herself when the significance of the Shruti and her reckless behavior hit her, the weight of guilt made her heart clench. Not only could both of them have died today but also Shanaya who was still so young and innocent could have lost her life before it even started and Mrs. Sudha would have lost everything.

Ronobir took Mishti and Shruti back to the mansion while Rishabh stayed behind with Rudra to clean up the mess. They were in complete silence the entire time as the atmosphere in the car bristled with unspoken tension. Shanaya was fast asleep in Mishti's arms and she thanked Bappa that nothing bad had happened to her.

With tear-stained eyes Mishti handed over the sleeping girl to her grandmother who clutched her tightly to her chest while reassuring Mishti that there was nothing to be sorry for, the younger woman wondered briefly just how much tragedy Mrs. Sudha had seen in her life remain calm and not be too distressed about the event that had taken place a little while ago.

The silence was deafening as Mishti and Ronobir headed towards their bedroom, silent tears streamed down her face as his body shook with barely contained anger. The moment the door of the room closed behind them all hell broke loose.

"What the fuck were you two thinking?" he shouted at her as he started pacing the length of the room. His brown eyes were blazing with fury as he stared at her and for the first time in a long while Mishti felt afraid of him.

She looked down sniffing, "I'm sorry!"

His jaw clenched at seeing the tears silently trail down her face, "Sorry isn't good enough Mishti!"

She raised her tear-stained eyes and looked pleadingly at him, "Ronobir I'm..."

He raised a hand in the air and stopped his pacing to stare at her, "No, just stop. Don't try to sweet talk your way out of this. I gave a fucking order Mishti and when I command something I expect to be followed," he lashed out and saw the minute her eyes changed from regretful to angry.

She moved away from the wall where she had been slumped against and stood right in front of him, "I'm not a fucking child Ronobir, you can't command me to do shit!"

He laughed sardonically, "Apparently you are because your stupidity and childish attitude almost got you all killed!"

She clenched her jaw so hard her head started to ache, she couldn't believe he could be this mean to her minutes after she almost got killed "Well this isn't something I would have to worry about it if I wasn't married to you!" she saw him flinch at her words but was so blinded by her anger that she didn't even care. "Everything that happened today was because the life you live is full of violence and blood!"

He closed his eyes as if it pained him to hear what she was saying, "Don't fucking push me, Mishti," his eyes were stormy when he opened them again and his voice was low and dangerous as he spoke. "You're so damn naïve that you don't recognize the fact that you've been living this 'life' your whole existence. You just never realized it before"

Angry tears escaped from her eyes, "I hate you!"

"No you don't!" he told her harshly, "The stunt you two pulled today could have cost you your lives and Shanaya's. I can't believe you were foolish enough to allow that," he spat out before turning around and heading towards the door but Mishti moved fast enough to latch her hands onto his arm and force him to stop.

"Don't you fucking dare walk out that door, you stupid, arrogant asshole!" she bit out in his face.

He shook his arm away from her hand and raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

She huffed in exasperation, "You're the most disgusting son of a bitch I've ever had the misfortune to meet," her voice quivered and Ronobir's anger started to subdue. "I almost died today Ronobir, I just experienced one of the most traumatic experiences of my entire life and instead of comforting me as any normal husband would, you're here yelling at me!" she started crying and Ronobir's hand itched with the desire to pull her into his arms and comfort her.

"Don't start with..."

"I was scared as fuck and you don't even care!" she shouted between sobs. "It's been a damn rough night, so stop yelling at me. I understand what I did was careless but I am the victim here Ronobir, you have no reason to be so hard on me!"

"I am so hard on you because I love you damn it!" he exploded.

Mishti stared dumbstruck at him for a few seconds and her expression was reflected in his face as well as if he couldn't believe the words that had left his mouth, "Ronobir..."

"You were scared as fuck?! I was fucking terrified Mishti!" now that he had started Ronobir didn't think he was able to stop, "Do you have any idea of what I felt during those moments? Never in my life have I been so scared of something," his voice broke down at the end and Mishti raised her hand to touch him but he flinched away from her.

"I..."

"I felt like I was going to die Mishti!" he choked out as he moved backward bumping into the bed. "You understand that? You managed to find a way into my heart and now there's no way of getting you out. I fought this for so long because how could I know what love is? I am a monster Mishti; I've never been anything else... I thought I couldn't possibly love but then you..." his eyes filled with tears that he refused to let escape, as he stared at her. "You walked into my life and now I...I must love you Mishti because I don't know what this feeling is that I have inside me." He took a hand to his chest and rubbed the skin there as if that way he could make some sense of what he was feeling.

"You know I love you too Ronobir, you know that I too would die if something happened to you," she said as she moved towards him. "But it wasn't my fault."

"I know, I fucking know that Mishti," he bit out as he let himself sink into the floor. "But I felt so out of control. I'm so angry at you for making me feel this way," he thumped a hand against his chest as he spoke, "for putting yourself at risk. I'm so fucking angry."

"I'm sorry!" she kRonobired in front of him and took his face between her hands, pressing kisses into any expanse of skin she could find. "I'm sorry for what we did Ronobir"

He shook his hand and took his hand to her waist, dragging her closer to his body, locking her in the safety of his embrace. "I'm sorry for being such an asshole to you Mishti," he kissed the spot where her shoulder met her neck, "For dragging you into this messy world, for doing everything I did."

Mishti sighed, "Ronobir it's okay. I'm sorry for what I did."

"No, it's not. I don't deserve you," a wretched sob was torn out of his throat but his eyes remained dry of tears, "I never did!" They slumped back until she was sitting on the floor and he was curled on the floor with his head in her lap.

She caressed his hair softly as she whispered, "That's not true!"

"It is. Someone like me can't hold something as precious as you without breaking it or tarnishing it," his hand bunched the hem of her dress as she spoke; his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the fabric.

"Don't say that!" Mishti said softly as she caressed him and felt him relaxing under her touch.

He was silent for a few seconds and she wondered if he had fallen asleep, when he spoke again his voice sounded raw and tired, "It's the truth. But I fucking need you too much to let you go."

"I don't want to be let go of," Mishti said wholeheartedly.

No matter how hard she had resisted the union at the beginning now she couldn't for the life of her imagine her world without Ronobir in it, she had become addicted to him and knew that she would rather die than be parted from him.

"I'm so sorry Mishti," he said against the fabric of her dress, "I'm so sorry!"

At that moment Ronobir finally understood what true love was, he realized that no matter what he had believed his entire life he was indeed capable of feeling it. He loved Mishti and because he loved her he knew he had to let go of her. Because love was more than just wanting to be with the person you cared about, it was wanting that person to be safe, happy, and loved even if she was not at your side.

For the first time, Ronobir knew he couldn't be selfish because being selfish meant destroying the one thing that mattered the most to him.

Ronobir Raina loved Mishti Khanna and because of that, he was going to let her go.