monotonous existence

It's a frigid, wet day today. All over the city of Seoul, like mushrooms, people are running home with umbrellas and their bags in their arms. The time is 5.30 pm. I enjoyed a hot coffee at Hiago Coffee Shop and watched the people running. Someone was standing in front of the rain-spattered glass near a yellow umbrella. I was very curious to see who it was through the blurred glass. Although dark clouds covered Seoul, I felt as if the yellow umbrella illuminated the whole city.

"Who made this yellow umbrella?" I was thinking curiously.

"Ayoung is this you???".

Someone patted me on the back and asked me a question. When I turned around to see who it was,

"Oh, Yoshi. "It's been a long time."

I asked her in a melancholy voice. While talking to her, I looked in front of the glass, but the yellow umbrella was gone. She hugged me tightly.

"Hey!" "Why are you crying, Yoshie?"

"Come sit next to me." "Yoshie, don't cry. I'm here"

"Hey ! waiter, Bring us two cappuccinos. "

I was ready to drink a cappuccino for the second time.

"Ayoung, I saw you only after 6 months. Where did you go? , I'm looking for you everywhere."

From the moment Yoshie sat next to me, she started reading without breathing, like a chatterbox. I was looking at it with tears in my eyes, keeping everything sad and happy in my mind.

"Hmm. I'm sorry, Yoshi. "It's a long story." I sighed in relief.

"It doesn't matter if it's big or small." "Tell me everything."

What really happened to me in the whole six months? For a whole month, I did not even have my diary, nor did I do any of my work...

"Duho didn't talk to me after that. I got depressed because of the memories of both of us. To get rid of those memories, I went to Jeju with Halmoni and Young Unni.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't remember anything to say." "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Oh, my dear, come to me." Ayong. I'm sorry I couldn't find you. Now forget everything. "Where does Halmoni ?"

"Yes, she is at home."

"Ayong...I'm angry with you if you didn't tell me all of this...but you need to resume the work you stopped."

"Yes, Yoshi, I'll start all over again." "It's not that Seoul is beautiful in the rain, isn't it?"

"Oh yes. I'm tired of this damn rain. "I don't have that artistic mind of yours, right?"

we finished drinking the cup of cappuccino while looking at each other and smiling. Although I was happy to meet Yoshie, what really happened to Duho was like a puzzle in the corner of my mind. Despite the fact that he had abandoned me, the Japanese maple bonsai plant he had given me had grown to perfection. The days spent with him were still playing like movies in my mind.

"The blue sky... the rising sea... the blue shirt... shape his lovely nature."

was written in the corner of my diary for the last time. It was really a beautiful day. I don't know if a day like that will come again. It felt like a drama at the time. The rays of the sun that fell on Seoul were almost invisible. I also chose a beautiful Sunday for a Duho date.

Everyone in Seoul loves Ediya Coffee. Although the prices are high, many young couples come there. We both enjoyed pancakes and hot chocolate milk while enjoying the beauty of the shop. Both of us, who are picky eaters, took some snacks to eat on the way and went to enjoy the fresh breeze at the beach in the evening. Duho's light blue shirt is my favorite look... He looks more handsome than ever to me. I love his thin and elongated face with thin eyebrows, and I love it now as I did then. He took my hands and wrapped them in his pocket. Keeping my head on Duho's shoulder, I experienced the wonder of the sea without any limits.

"Duh.."

"Hmm...tell me, girl."

"You are the one who was close to everything. please don't leave me"

I said it like a childish girl. He looked straight into my eyes.

"Crazy girl. "What can I do without being here all the time? I never leave you."

I kissed his lips and covered my face and his chest in shame.

Every time I hug him, I tend to love him more. I turned away from my memory when my hand was wet with tears. I hugged the bonsai plant Du Ho gave me.

"I can't hold all my pain." I want to cry loudly. But I can't... why is love so agonizing?"Why, why, why?"

No matter how hard it is, the sadness does not fade away.

Even though it has been a while since we started loving each other when we remember our friendship and the past, our hearts never grow. Everything was over in the blink of an eye.

"Ayoung..."

"O Halmoni..."

"What are you doing?" What are you imagining? "About that boy"

"Hmm.."

"He is Papa's own son. He is not trustworthy." He helped us.

"But don't fall in love with everyone who helps you, child."

"But Halmoni......"

"Forget it. Let time... You learn. "Come and eat, children."

Halmoni is the one who has been with me since then.

There is no truth in what she is saying.

Winter and spring are over, and summer is coming. There is a mountain of work on the campus too. Everything tells you to leave only the memories and begin a new one. I went to sleep thinking that tomorrow would be a good day.

****

I was awakened by the Tring Tring fucking alarm. After washing my face and mouth, I took my book bag and ran to the living room.

"Good morning, ayoung highness."

"Did you wake up now?"

"Good morning. Ah, Yoshie, you have come."

"Look, Halmoni. We need to come here and ask her."

"Oh, child, don't think about that." "Let's eat breakfast and go."

We all laughed and took breakfast and ran to the campus with Yossi.

I went to the teacher's lounge to ask Yoshie to go to class. Miss Yuri looked surprised when she saw me.

"Ayoung, oh, where have you been? We searched for you everywhere. Where is the first in the class?"

"There were some questions, Miss. so I was in Jeju. "

"Is ayoung bad if we were informed about it?"

"I'm sorry, Miss..."

"It's okay; just do the last few things." If you pass the exam, it's okay.

"I will do my best, miss."

"Now, go to class."

I went to class after finishing the homework. After all the lectures, I went to work at Uncle Lee's Coffee Soul. I love working in a coffee shop in Soul. That's why I worked with Uncle Lee.

After finishing the work at the coffee shop, I went to the Star Field Library to get an idea for my webtoon. After nine o'clock in the night, I took black bean noodles and fried chicken and walked slowly to the school.

"Hey girl, why are you late today?"

"Ah, Halmoni, what's going on this time?"

"You are so late, and your phone doesn't work either."

"Halmoni, today is a busy day. I also went to the library.

"Don't be too concerned...you will get sick."

"Halmony, don't be afraid."

I believe what Yoshi said is that the best way to forget my pain is to be busy. I almost always go to bed in the morning. I can't sleep. Duho, since you didn't say anything, I've been bored every day.

The second year of the campus, which has been done properly, has passed like a breeze. When I think about how the coming year will be, I feel like I have a headache. By the way, Seoul stole my heart. Seoul felt like an unfinished painting to me.