"That is... I don't..." I pulled away from Matriarch Klaeris, not certain how to refuse her. "Your family is wonderful and all, but I need to..."
"Go commune with the tree," Klaeris said. "I understand it's a lot to take it. No one expects you to decide today. I meant only to offer you a certain future, should you want it."
A certain future. Her words continued to ring in my ears as I approached the base of the Elm. All my life I had wanted stability. Certainty. Was this really it? If so, why didn't it feel right?
I grinded my teeth in frustration. This isn't how it was supposed to work. I wanted everything to fall into place, I NEEDED it to hold still for just a minute so I could think about what I had to do. But I had been holding still for weeks, lounging in apathy and indecision.
Maybe it was me. Maybe I was the problem.
I pressed my hand against the trunk of the Elm and whispered. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do."