Trapped in Privilege

Rebecca's POV''ปล่อยฉันนะ''I don't have to understand the words to know what it meant as she let go of my grip and turned her back to me.Tears streamed in my face, but like I always do, I simply wiped my tears and composed myself before starting to walk.''รีเบคก้า'' my mother tried to hod my hand but I simply pulled away."Thank the heavens, 'tis over! Let us be gone,.'' my father said, like he always does, like nothing happens.He treats low-class people's emotions as a waste of time or a joke.I trudged into my room, the weight of my family's expectations suffocating me.My will shall be thy law. Stay here, Rebecca." Father's command echoed in my mind.

'"By all that's holy! What dost thou imply?"I asked in disbelief.

"Mind me, Rebecca! Thou'lt stay in thy room till I say otherwise." His voice was firm and authoritative, leaving no room for argument. I felt trapped, suffocated by his control over my every move.I saw my mother just standing out my door. I heard them argue outside my door, and I saw how my father slapped her, which made her fall to the ground. She tried to run in my direction, but my father quickly pulled her away and pushed her away from the door. He commanded the maids to lock my door.Tears streamed down my face as I collapsed onto my bed. Why couldn't they understand? Why must they control every aspect of my life?

And it happened. Days passed, and I remained a prisoner in my own home.

A maid will just bring food and help clean myself and then lock me up again. I have no news of Miss Nam, Irin, and more especially Freen.They don't let me speak to anyone. My only way to cope is this diary. I don't know how many tears I have already shed.I don't know what day it is. I can only hope that one day someone will find this diary and understand the pain I am going through. Perhaps then I will finally be free from this prison of silence and isolation.The other day people came here and made a fitting of my dress for an upcoming dinner with Maurer's family.

That would be the first time I have been allowed out of this room in weeks. I can only pray that this dinner will bring some relief from the loneliness and uncertainty that have consumed me.

I miss everyone on the mansion grounds, and I long for the freedom to roam and socialize once again. Perhaps this dinner will be the first step towards regaining some semblance of normalcy in my life.But thinking I will see George planning and talking about marriage with his family makes me more sick than staying in these four corners of my room.Just as I thought I couldn't bear it anymore, a soft knock came from the door.

"Oh, for goodness' sake! 'Tis locked, ye numbskulls! Canst thou not see 'tis barred?" I said with a sarcastic tone. I am so done with all the people here.

''Rebecca, it's me.''"Nop?" I called out, surprised.

The door creaked open, and Nop slipped in. "Hey, cousin, I heard what happened."

"Heh, 'tis fortunate thou holdest the key, for I possess none." I said as Nop approached me with a sympathetic look on his face. "I brought you some food; I thought you might be hungry," he said, handing me a cake .''At the moment it's not what I need, Nop.'' I said, just looking at the cake he is carrying, and he awkwardly put the cake on the side table.Nop sat beside me, his expression empathetic. "I get it, Rebecca. I really do. You feel trapped."He looked at the diary I was writing with, and I simply closed it and put it in my drawer.I sniffled, and he handed me his handkerchief."I'll talk to your father, okay? I'll make him understand. I swear upon my honor, Rebecca, I shall set things right," Nop promised.'"Heavens praise thy promptness, Nop! Why didn't you do that at your place when all this started? You are weeks late, Nop.'' I said, not believing his concern.''I know, and I feel bad about it. That's why I am here to change it. I'll do my best to convince him.'' Nop's eyes were filled with determination as he spoke, making me feel a glimmer of hope. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but having his support meant everything to me.

I just hope he is serious.

''I guess I'll be going now.'' He said, standing up.He looked at me with a reassuring smile before heading towards the door. '' I am really sorry, Rebecca, I assure you, and I was really serious when I told you I regretted what I did before. And I want to make it up with you and Freen.''He said that and got out of the door; I hear it clicked, which means he locked it again.I slumped against the bed, my mind racing.I miss her so much, and I wonder if he truly means it this time.I understand what she did back there.I know she did it for me; I just hope she is doing fine.Freen's POVMy heart breaks as I turn my back to her, but it was the best thing I could do.ผม/ดิฉันเสียใจมาก (Pom/Dichan Sia Jai Mak): "I'm deeply sorry,'' I whispered. My steps were so heavy as I walked away from them. I headed at the back of the palace and weakly leaned on the tree when I was already out of their sight.My eye sight became blurry, and tears started to stream down my face, the weight of my decision settling heavily on my shoulders. I knew that leaving was necessary for her safety, but the pain of separation was almost unbearable.And from there I saw the carriage of my beloved Lady Rebecca.I will always just be loving you from afar, my Lady Rebecca.Only from afar never having the courage to approach you again. The memory of your smile will forever be etched in my heart, even as I walk away from the life we could have had together.